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Thread: Having a hard time adjusting with my career and Navy life

  1. " do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyaus View Post
    Oh wow! I can't believe the XO threatened your DH rank. Luckily, we haven't had this situation. Although most of the spouses in our group do have "regular" hours and don't work weekends or they are stay at home moms so they don't understand where I'm coming from. I would love to have a nursing job with regular hours. However, because of the location we are at most people know we are a military family. This makes finding a job outside of the hospital hard since most of the nursing office jobs with 9-5 hours are usually looking for nurses who will stay there long term. Unfortunately, the hospital is the only one willing to hire me and we have rotating shifts with every other weekend that we are required to work. I'm going to still try to look and pray maybe someone will take a chance on me. If not. I plan on going per diem next year at the hospital I'm at now and can pick up extra shifts if need be.

    Thank you for this advice and everyone else. It has helped so much even if I really don't have a solution to my situation. We do plan on starting a family next year. I may have to end up being one of the stay at home moms. Until then I am going to take it all in stride and like you said, ignore anyone who has an opinion or comment about our lifestyle. I support my DH but working is what makes me happy as well for the moment.
    If your job is a contributing part of your happiness, then keep it. You CAN balance time with your husband, time at work and time as a parent. Lots of women do. Even on the night shift (I’ve worked the night shift for mostly of my career) we can and we do. It takes some thought and planning, and the final decision about what the balance looks like is a very personal one, but...

    Supporting your husband doesn’t mean you have to wholeheartedly sacrifice yourself on the altar of the service. Based on some of your previous comments, it sounds like you think you have to. You don’t have to go to all the functions or take on every possible role if you can’t make it, or even if sometimes you just don’t want to/can’t be bothered. As long as it works for you and your husband, then the Navy will just have to cope.
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  2. Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AMP1984 View Post
    That's good to know - I am obviously new to this as I am not even officially a wife yet and I got the impression that the bake sales and events and balls were mandatory so it's good to hear from someone who knows more
    Plenty of stuff will be mandatory or nearly so for your service member. And chief season is a very special, unique thing, and your DF may want you to participate. (In chief season or even just in other stuff.) But that's a personal thing between the two of your you guys can come to your own agreement in your relationship. Sometimes the service member wants the spouse to participate because he feels it makes him look good, sometimes because he wants to provide that extra support (via his spouse) to the more junior sailors, or sometimes because he just wants company at events. The Navy doesn't really care.
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    Wow. Maybe it is enlisted v. Officer. 14 years and I've attended almost nothing, and Goddess help the admiral who tries telling Wife that she needs to have me participate in something.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Wow. Maybe it is enlisted v. Officer. 14 years and I've attended almost nothing, and Goddess help the admiral who tries telling Wife that she needs to have me participate in something.
    Nothing these days is looked at. Sure maybe when my grandmother was a spouse it was looked at weather a spouse was attending or not. But not today. I mean I have friends who have crazy tattoo's, crazy hair colored and all and who don't attend things. The service member has been fine. As far as people asking like I said maybe its more curiosity vs being like omg that person isn't attending to anything. I have friends who's jobs who don't allow them to attend things, or like our recent command would schedule events so no spouse was able to attend.
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    My FRG will often tell spouses to join in meetings or outings, but that's only so everyone feels supported and welcome. OR naturally the FRG will ask if anyone can help out with bake sales etc but participation is never expected or mandated.
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    I don't think it is expected of you to attend functions. Though I do find it interesting that they were asking why you didn't come.

    When I was working less and hadn't started going to school, I was volunteering with the squadron. I began to notice that a lot of the wives who came to meetings regularly were not working so they had the extra time. I definitely wouldn't recommend you cutting your hours just to attend functions. You can be as much or as little involved with the command as you want. There really are no expectations.

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