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Thread: Is dating some one in military as hard as it seems

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    #1

    Is dating some one in military as hard as it seems

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    I have been dating this guy for about two months. I feel very lonely and alone most of the time. I only get to see him maybe once a week. some times I wonder if he is really serious about me or am I being played. he tells me that he is in this for long term but his actions don't really seem to show that. I am wondering if I am expecting to much. I have never dated any one in the military so I don't really know what to expect. I feel like he is also some what secretive. Is this behavior normal for some one in military or am I just being played. I am trying really hard to trust him but there is just so many red flags that it's hard.
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    #2
    It honestly depends on his job and what is going on with it, how far away you guys are. There are a lot of variables at play, I would try to find out more from him. He doesn't have to give you details but he can familiarize you with what his job demands are so you can know what to expect.

    For me, unless my husband had duty when we were dating, we were always together on the weekends. But he was also thirty minutes away. Sometimes he'd go out to the field and I wouldn't hear from him, but no biggie. We still talked every night for hours on end.
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    #3
    I agree that I think it depends on a lot of things, but not being able to see each other often due to work isn't super unusual to me. When I was dating DH we only saw each other about once a week, and we lived 20 minutes apart. Work schedules conflict and he had a lot of commitments. I wouldn't necessarily consider long hours, not being able to talk about work, etc. a "red flag" to not be able to trust him, but I know we don't have the whole situation.

    If you feel like you need someone who has more time available to spend with you, it may be possible that a military relationship is not right for you.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by jada1985 View Post
    I have been dating this guy for about two months. I feel very lonely and alone most of the time. I only get to see him maybe once a week. some times I wonder if he is really serious about me or am I being played. he tells me that he is in this for long term but his actions don't really seem to show that. I am wondering if I am expecting to much. I have never dated any one in the military so I don't really know what to expect. I feel like he is also some what secretive. Is this behavior normal for some one in military or am I just being played. I am trying really hard to trust him but there is just so many red flags that it's hard.
    I don't know that the issues are because he is in the military or because that is who he is. But if he is not living up to your expectations, and the relationship is not what you want, leave. Simple as that. Military or no.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    I don't know that the issues are because he is in the military or because that is who he is. But if he is not living up to your expectations, and the relationship is not what you want, leave. Simple as that. Military or no.
    yup.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    I don't know that the issues are because he is in the military or because that is who he is. But if he is not living up to your expectations, and the relationship is not what you want, leave. Simple as that. Military or no.
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    #7
    Life is to short to not get what you want out of a relationship. I learned this way too late. My DB is an hour away when he is home and we see each other every weekend and try to see each other at least once during the week. We also talk every day. If you aren't getting what you want, just leave. I don't know the situation but there are a lot of great men out there that will treat you like a Queen and that is what every lady deserves!
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    #8
    When my husband and I were talking and then dating, I was always blown away by the ways he figured out how to show his love and care even when he was training, away, etc... Like, he was way better at it than any civilian guy I'd ever dated (or any other military guy for that matter).

    I dont think it's a military vs. civilian thing. I think it's a "is this person right for me?" thing.

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    #9
    It can be hard to be in a relationship with someone in the military but the way I see it, all relationships are work civilian or military. Both parties have to put an effort into making it work. If you cant trust him, that’s already a red flag in this relationship.

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