Military Significant Others and Spouse Support -

Conversation Between SuziGraham and TNT

23 Visitor Messages

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  1. do you know where i can find the list of "missing soldiers" for the Army? I have tried the army website, but there isn't anything there. I've tried the "search" on the sites, but nothing. If you don't know, could you ask your husband? thanks muchly!!
  2. hey girl! the "Sculpt Workout" part of the DVD by Billy says he uses this for TOTAL BODY workout, using multiple moves like jumping jacks with jabs at an accelerated pace, sculpt and tone your whole body! I think that its working!
  3. The AB Bootcamp Workout is REALLY getting me results!! I can see the difference in a week of doing it. I think that the combo of all three (for me a little more on the bootcamp part) will really start to see results everywhere, starting in the second week. It's like a domino effect from what I am observing on myself. I am off today/tomorrow from the pt/temp job, so Billy and I have hot dates every 4 hours both days (shhhhhhhh don't tell my husband, ok? LOL) When Billy and I are at my goal, my husband will burst into flames when we finally connect!! ahahahahaha...keep up the good work my friend...
  4. Hey girl! I am sooo glad that you got the book!! It really does work and I have sworn by it for years. The menu's and food choices are wide...especially when you get unlimited free veggies! For me, it was tooo much food...I had to make myself eat it, but it took 2-5 hours for me to eat that much! But...I keep repeating what my doctors said ...YOU MUST EAT MORE THAN BIRDSEED.....ahahahaha..well you get what I am saying! How long did they tell you it would take before you get your DVD's? I am working on 15 minutes each one now...want to get up to 25 minutes each one by the weekend. i know, i am pushing things.... the stress level is soooooo high, that i want to do enough to bring it down to a manageable level. By the way, the diplomat and I talked this morning..... he said that he spoke to the doctor this morning (their time, it was 12 am here), and the doctor said my husband will be ok, still in the coma, hoping that he will wake up within a week.. in the coma due to excessive bleeding from being shot (wouldn't tell me more, guess he didn't want me shrieking - LOL)... I am calmer than I was...(meaning I am not shrieking for hours), I am trying to be strong, be focused, and being prayerful a lot. I just want this to be over, and get my husband home. If he isn't awake in a week, I told them I am on the next flight out of here and will be at his side until he does wake up, and I don't care if it is extremely dangerous there...the entire country is dangerous for americans. Anyway, I am trying to stay positive, and get things in order here. I don't know what to do when he does come home...I live in the mid-west, waiting to move back east. my husband will come here, but we need go back east to his home, where our son (my stepson) is....I don't know how to treat his condition..I don't want anything to hurt him, but I know that he will want to see his son. I guess they will send instructions with him? This is all way out of my league! Yikes! Anyway....I wanted to thank you again for your has helped me soooo much!!! talk to you soon!!
  5. Thanks for the info...I don't know anything about his unit...he was retiring in a few weeks so it didn't seem important to know. I didn't know anyone in the military prior to my husband, so i was/am totally clueless at what to know/need/ask etc. The short time we had we just wanted to be by ourselves and I didn't think about any paperwork, nothing...I've never been married, how would I know these things? Unfortunately, there is no money for any therapist...wish there was! I think I will double dose the Evening Primrose!! It was really weird today.....I was at work at this temporary part time job, in the middle of my shift, something my husband said just popped into my head, and i started crying...and had to leave the area to compose myself. I was concentrating on what i was doing, so i was kind of suprised when it happened and it was embarrassing. He has said in August, let me see...."But let me tell you matter what happened god will reward you. Even if I die here, or I do not come home, or lost or what heart and the kind of love I have for will surely have it..I promise you I will love you no matter where I will be." He wrote that to me on August 30th, he was referencing the many sacrifices that I've made during the time together (which I didn't even think of as sacrifices)...but that is the quote that just popped into my head today and made me cry hard for about 10 minutes. So embarrassing. Things like that will just pop into my head - could be driving, at the library (boy, i have cried there a lot), in a store, at the bank.... [b][u]BUT[b][u] on August 15th he wrote me a lovely lovely poem that was bittersweet. i was telling him that I just couldnt take it anymore, that I didn't have any strength left and that i was so afraid of all that was happening here ...He wrote to me "If I were dying, my last words would be, Have faith and pursue the unknown end. A firm faith in the universal providence of God, is the solution of all earthly troubles, and Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear. I love you and know that I am coming for you my love. I love you"
    He is so wise! I guess that I should just work as many hours at both jobs just so I do not have time to think about anything. my poor doggies know that i am upset and are always trying to climb into my lap (115 lb lab and a 79 lb collie/shepherd) they are so loving and sweet... so i guess that is what i will myself into the ground...back to the 400 hours a month! yippee-ki-aye... i guess that i should look at this entire "thing" as an adventure of sorts...try to step back and watch it like a movie...I don't usually get this frantic/crazed, i think that it is all the danger/unknown and it all feels surreal. I guess that I will just have to let whatever happens happen...I can't do anything here (that's the frustrating part)...thanks for your support --just venting and talking here REALLY helps!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!
  6. I do not know what is going on. the diplomat has men with him, but that is all i know. the diplomat always tells me to remember the enemy monitors everything over there, so that when anyone talks they watch what they say on the phones and on their laptops, and they limit the time on them. One of my friends used to talk to her husband on his cell and his laptop all the time...then this one time she did not hear from him for a week and she was flipping out...finds out that he had to throw his cell phone and laptop into the road they were driving on, and enemy mortar rounds blew it up...turns out they were tracking the unit by monitoring airwaves and the GPS in the cell/laptop!! I understand why the diplomat isn't giving me specifics, just enough info to give me an idea of what is going on.

    ****HOWEVER***** i did just receive an email now from the diplomat and i am crying*t sh*t sh*t..... here is what he wrote: "Hello my dear friend, how are you? I know that you are doing well. Well, I have tried my best to get to where your husband is, there is one problem now...maybe I should hold on for a while. He is not dead, he is alive....but in all, I will tell you later. I want to assure you that all will be fine."
    Of course, I sent a screaming/hysterical email right back WHAT WHAT WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????WHAT IS THE PROBLEM???? well, you get my drift here...used all capital letters and bold print...which i never do unless i am flipping out. I sent a text message to my husband's long time friend that i have also been talking to this year...He travels around the world extensively all the time, so i never know where he is...i text him, and then he calls me back. I spoke to him, oh, about a week ago and he was in the Netherlands. I asked him if he had gotten a hold of his brother yet (who is in Asia) to see what he knows (the brother knows my husband too, and knows people around the world, so perhaps they can help? that's my thinking). I am waiting now (more waiting...i HATE that word now) If i have to burn up more phone wires and satellites to get people moving, I will.... i feel the b*tch switch starting to twitch!!! arrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!
    You see, so much has happened this past year. ok, when my husband SHOULD have been home by 10/10, he said to get ready to move back east (i had my house here before i met him) so everything was sold or given away to be ready to leave. I have been living in an EMPTY house for 3 months now!!! Where is the comfort there? ONe chair, a small tv, 2 dogs, 2 small birds and me. I have a seasonal job (March to end of November or when ever the weather goes bad), then i have NO income from December to mid to late March...well, the unemployment comes in, but it's barely enough to pay the mortgage. This is supposed to be my Vacation time, because i work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day for 9 months, and i am very tired! However, i am left stranded here, having to scramble to find work to try and survive until my husband is found and brought home. I managed to find a part time/temporary job at a nationwide chain ust 3 weeks ago, doesn't pay more than a little above minimum wage, but beggars can't be choosers. this will enable me to pay the car note, and a little towards the utilities. Still need $$$ for phone, taxes, food....good thing i don't eat much!! A 1 pound bag of rice, one chicken, 6 cans of vegges will last me one month. So, about $6.00 per month for me for food. Big stock pot of chicken soup. one bowl a day. And still need to find $$ for gas to get to work... so you see, i am stressed out all the time. I am still looking for other work...since i am not sleeping anyway, i might as well be working...of course, it will take away from my unemployment or kick me off it if i dont have the right mix of work. i had a job interview wth the Dept Mgr, for a Unit Coordinator position, at a local hospital last week which went VERY well! I am waiting for the Human Resource person to return this coming week, and i am supposed to meet with her. The Dept. Mgr just loved me, so we spent a good 2 hours talking and laughing and she was introducing me to everyone. I had to bring out my 1000 watt personality (did not feel like it, but did what i had to do) and charmed everyone. Normally, i am like that, but my heart is so very sad, right down to my soul, that i have to put on a pretend facade). I don't know what to do here....I don't really want to start new jobs, when i am to be leaving. that doesn't feel right. But since i do not know when this situation will resolve itself, I guess that i just have to save myself as best as i can. What i am thinking, during my moments of non-hysterical crying, is that I may take the hospital job, if offered to me, and drop the minimum wage job, keep my unemployment as long as i can, then up the hours on the hospital job by signing up to work in all departments. I used to be a Unit Coordinator for over 2 years in the Trauma/CCU/ICU department in a hospital here. I was sooooo good, I ended up working overtime in every unit in the hospital, and training new ones. I was the ONLY employee out of 17,000, that worked over 400 hours each month, every month, the whole time i was there... i was a zombie.... maybe i will do that again, i didn' have any time to think at all....did feel like dropping from exhaustion tho'....hey, maybe THAT would get me some sleep?? hmmmmm ...... So many delays....i feel like shrieking shrieking shrieking shrieking shrieking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully he will get back to me, if he is in a holding pattern now. will keep you posted....
  7. i am sorry for the confusion. the last time i spoke to my husband was Oct 8th. Once I called the diplomat who was out of the country at the time (gotta love those private cell phone numbers!), he flew back into Iraq and went looking for my husband with some men. He told me that he will find my husband no matter where he is and would not go home until he brought my husband back home to me. He has been tireless seaching, putting himself in great danger, risking it all for my husband. He told me that is what true friends do for each other. What a great guy! I have NO idea where they are, or where my husband is. I can't imagine what is going on or why. He was to come home and turn in his retirement papers and we could finally have a life. Here I sit and wait...I am an action girl and HATE waiting.... i told the diplomat, I am coming there, and I WILL find my husband, watch and learn...kick ass take names, and if i needed to shoot or worse, then so be it...but i WILL find my husband, no matter what it takes. I know that I shocked the diplomat because i was cool as a cucumber, quite cold actually, when i said it, so he knew i meant it. He was like "Please be calm" "Please don't cry" "it is very dangerous over here...if i told you what i have been through, you wouldn't believe me"... He is a very very good man...always making sure I am ok, do i need anything... He is always doing his best to keep me calm. and that takes quite a bit of doing, let me tell you. In sept., it was really bad here, and i just couldn't take it anymore, i felt like screaming until i brought the house down...i didn't know what to do, or who to turn husband told me that he had a couple of the diplomats that he knew to watch over me, so if i needed anything that i was to call them, didn't matter night or day. So, i took a deep breath, and dialed his number... as soon as he said hello, i burst into tears and couldn't stop crying for 40 minutes!! I mean, i was sobbing as hard as you can...!! I scared him soooo bad, because I NEVER cry!! All the time I have known him, i have always been "cool" and very humorous, and to have me break down like that, i know it shocked him. I was sooo upset, I was sooo cold inside, that i was shaking hard and my voice was as if someone had grabbed my arms and was shaking me hard. I couldn't even stand up. it took him quite a long time to calm me down. he told me after a long while, to get into bed and warm up while he talked to me. he told me to rest for a couple of hours and he would call me back to check on me. I found out later, that he burned up the lines to Baghdad, got a hold of my husband and told him what had happened. of course, my husband was FRANTIC (which he never gets), and the two of them talked for a while and then they both got back to me. It took me a couple of days before i could shake it, but it was wonderful that the two of them took care of me, even halfway around the world. you can't put a price on that. I am trying very hard each day not to cry, but not knowing when my husband is coming home is such a strain on me. I need to be able to get some rest as well as sleep. My face looks like a POW or refugee...triple bags, pale, haggard...i don't want to look like that, but what can i do? short of taking a 2x4 and clonking me over the head really hard (hmmmmmm....) i don't remember what its like to sleep. i am a lot calmer with the Evening Primrose which helps a LOT. its a lifesaver!!
  8. i know something that will help with being cranky...ITS THE BEST!!! Go to Walmart, vitamin/herb section....pick up "Evening Primrose", 500mg or 1000mg and take 2-3 two times per's not an instant fix...its a NATURAL way to snap your body out of cranky have to be consistant (every day without fail), because you have to build it up in your will at first feel a little better, then MUCH better...then you will be fine...there are no side effects because its all natural....its the only thing that i have found to keep me from using the b*tch stick on people (ahahhahaha)... I take over the counter sleep aid, which seriously, no matter HOW exhausted I am, only gives me 2 hours of very restless sleep...i stil have the same damn nightmare every time i close my eyes....(running through Iraq looking for my husband)...the panic, fear, frantic-ness elevates until i jump up, wide awake and stiffle screams. I haven't really slept since last January...2-3 hours a night because I would work my seasonal job 8-6, come home take care of the dogs, house, shopping, lawn, laundry....try to go to bed at 11pm, read 1 hour, go to sleep, then husband would text me at 3;15am every morning and we would talk until 4;45am, he would have to leave, and once i am awake, i cannot go back to sleep. so i became used to always being up at 3;15am... i was ok with it, as long as we could talk it was good. when he went missing Oct 8th, that is when i started having nightmares and not sleeping at all. It was 25 days before i knew he was alive...and it has been unbelieveable ever since! I don't really eat much so to speak, but the first 25 days i couldn't eat at all - tried but it came right back up. i never slept, i paced and cried hysterically for hours until i dropped onto the floor in exhaustion. all family lives very far away. you would not believe all that has happened to me this year...I haven't seen my husband in over a year (and this is my first year of being married!!!) I have been alone the entire time!! my new stepson i haven't even seen yet (due to all delays of husband returning)...oh, it just gets better and better. i am so glad for this website, it has been such a blessing - so very supportive. God bless this one diplomat that is looking for my husband...he is my gentle with me, very caring, so sweet and kind...i just love him. he's been my guardian angel. i told him - if we weren't already married, i'd go after you for sure! ahahahaha...he told me...he calls his wife, she is crying....he calls me...i am crying...he said he considers me his second wife! ahahahahaha! I have not heard from the Diplomat today/tonight, so i do not know if he has made it to where he was advised where my husband is to be. I am soooooooooooo anxious for news....i start to get frantic, then the emails to the Diplomat start....he can get 4-5 a day with me going 'WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU?????""" it used to flip him out, but he is used to me by now....I am an action girl, and for me to have to sit back and WAIT, drives me CRAZY....he is always telling me "Please be calm" and when I used to talk on the phone to him (has british accent - which i love - i could listen for hours!) we'd talk for an hour or so just "talking" as friends...was so very nice. My husband was totally impressed - said this diplomat has never taken to anyone like he has to me...ahahahahaha...told him it was my magnetic personality.....what can i job is to look cute and be funny!! ahahahaha.... well, its time to write my husband my nightly love letter (don't know if he gets them while on this mission, but...), and my daily email to the diplomat asking for a status...will let you know ....bye for now
  9. hey there! Ok, go to Walmart, to the inner part of the music DVD's near the tv's, the workout DVD' are hanging on the end of the isle, by the tv's. The one i got is "Billy Blanks Taebo, Get Celebrity Fit" 3 Workouts on 1 DVD...Includes "Cardio Workout" "Sculpt Workout" and AB Bootcamp Workout" The UPC number is 0-18713-53378. Price is $13.72. I chose this one because of the 3different areas. Each area is 45 minutes long...But! What I do to start out and NOT get tired, is do 10 minutes of EACH one (30 min total), and you've worked all areas. Then gradually increase it. I am going to do some more AB Bootcamp in a few minutes...If they do not have this DVD, don't panic! Go to their "Site to Store" counter...They will order it from one of their stores, and have it delivered to the nearest Walmart to you!! It's easy! let me know when you get it....i will be sweating up a good workout with you!
  10. You will be fine....the thing with liquid diets they remove the water and all your electrolytes, yes you loose weight, but as soon as you drink again, it comes back (i learned that from a navy seal fitness guy). What REALLY does work, and quickly is the Rotation Diet...i used it 15 years ago and lost oh, 40 lbs and kept it off for a long time....i have gained my weight because i DONT eat!! I am not hungry most of the time....What happens, my doctor said, is that your body goes into what is called "starvation mode", so any food that you eat, your body keeps it and stores it, so even tiny bits of food turn into fat!! I am just not a big eater...i might say..."god I AM STARVING" then food is put in front of me, i pile my plate, and after a few forkful samplings of everything, i am full and done eating....there is enough food on my plate for a week of meals (for me). I am trying to remember to eat every 2 hours (which is much better for you), but it is hard....its easy for me to go 2-3 weeks without eating anything...its normal for me.....i eat when i am hungry, and don't even think about it for a long time...weird chick, i know i know! The Rotation Diet is written by Martin Katahn, PhD, written in 1986 (all librarys have this book i have found)..I did it 1987 when i lived in Florida....Tampa promoted this book in a big way, had thousands of people sign up to do it...most everyone kept the weight off... You lose up to a pound a day and never gain it back, if you follow it to the letter!! The book gives you 14 days of Meal Plan Menus (one for women, one for men) I think that you would do great on it, plus doing it with the Billy Blanks DVD, the pounds will just fly off!! I am going back on it tomorrow...throw in some Trim Spa to curb my addiction to CHOCOLATE!! I haven't had any sweets of any kind, chips, nothing in almost a year, and i don't miss it! I did have a few pieces of chocolate with my coffee last Sunday, but it was my birthday and I have no family near me, my husband is still not being alone, I thought that I would celebrate in a tiny way (better than wolfing down a whole chocolate cake and a container of ice cream!!!)LOL....Let me know what you think of the DVD - Lets do it together!!!
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