Wedding Invitation Etiquette

[Dr. K]

So my YOUNGER cousin, Sarah, is getting married. Her sister, Adrian, got married 2 years ago. For that wedding, I was a bridesmaid. My other cousin, Emily, was 23 at the time and had been dating her boyfriend for 5 years at that point.

For Adrian's wedding, her invitiation did not have 'And guest' on it. So she didn't go (the wedding was 4 hours away in Connecticut) cuz she didn't want to have to drive, get a hotel room, and be at the wedding by herself.

Adrian and her dad (Emily's uncle) said the reason why she didn't get 'And guest' on her invitation was because they didn't know her boyfriend and didn't want to spend the $100 some for the plate for someone they didn't know. P.S. Adrian and her family lived in Connecticut at this point when all the rest of the fam lived down in the Philly/Delaware region. UM HELLO!! You're 4 hrs away! No wonder you're not gonna know her boyfriend!!

So now Sarah's getting married. And she's hinting that me and Em (I'll be 24 and have been dating my boyfriend for just about 2 years and Em will be 26 and have dating her boyfriend for over 7 yrs when this wedding comes around) won't be getting 'And guest' on our invitations again because she doesn't know our boyfriends and it's too expensive to buy them a plate.

I think this is EXTREMELY rude! Who the hell at 20-30 yrs old wants to go to a freakin wedding by themself????

I was just wondering what some of you thought was the 'etiquette' ruling on this.

[Jennifer]

When we addressed our wedding invitations, all single guests over 16 were allowed to bring a guest....it's proper etiquette.

[Ellen]

I would put 'and guest'

[SIMMYBABEZ]

Considering you are family, i would expect an "and guest", if you wern't family or close friends, then I wouldn't expect it. So in my eyes- it is rude.

[SchlegelsBaby]

I have to agree with everyone else's posts thus far. Proper etiquette should have it say "And guest" Of course, if no one else's SO is being invited (not just you and your cousin) then I could understand to a point. I would talk to her and let her know ahead of time that you are not comfortable going to a wedding alone, if she is still insistent that she doesn't want them there, then don't go.

[goldilockz]

I think it's quite rude. What if you wanted to bring your best friend or something? No one should be expected to be at a wedding "not coupled up" kwim?

[Ashnbri]

I dont really think it is rude..I wouldn't have put on guest and had people invite others who I Didnt know to my wedding lol...Then there is just a bunch of strangers wondering around. I didn't even want ppl who I didnt know at my baby shower! I guess it just depends on the person. Some ppl want intimate weddings with just people who they know and are close with. But if they don't add and guest for you 2 then I think it would be better ettiqute to apply it for EVERYONE. If she isn't then I think it is really rude of her.

[Dr. K]

I could understand it if was a small intimate gathering as well. But it's about 200 people... so... I don't think that reason's valid (if she were to use that excuse.) And yeah, my cousin and I are planning on not going if we don't have 'And guest.' Cuz she's also inviting alot of her college friends... and I asked her if they could bring dates... and she said if they had been dating for 6 months or longer than they could come and that she knows most of her friend's SOs.

Ugh... when those invitations come out and if they don't say 'And guest' some family drama is gonna start!

Hahaha! Cuz this would be wedding number 2 where this would have happened.

My cousin Emily and I thought it would be funny if our invitations don't say 'And guest' then we'd photocopy a page of a wedding etiquette book that talks about inviting with guests... and send it back with our declines. Hahahaha.

[Jennygirl]

I come from huge italian families. When my cousins get married, I dont take a guest because there are huge numbers of people there. I dont believe that anywhere it says that it is MANDATORY that you are allowed to bring a guest. I think its up to the couple getting married. They are afterall paying for this day so it should be up to them.

What I dont agree with is putting stipulations on it. Like being together for 6 months, who cares about that.

Ive been to several weddings where I couldnt bring a guest and I just went and had a good time.

[Dr. K]

I'm from a large Italian family as well, and I agree that it's not MANDATORY to have 'and guest' on the invitation. However, I think it's considerate and proper etiquette to invite an older individual (18 or 21+) with a date if you are inviting others in the same situation with a date.

I mean... when it's Em's turn to get married, since she still won't know Sarah or Adrian's husbands (since they live far away from the rest of the fam and we don't see them often) does she have to invite their husbands too?? And that's the reason they didn't invite her with a date to her wedding.

Just my opinion...