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Thread: Weddings in different states?

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    #1

    Weddings in different states?

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    Talk to me about weddings you've planned or been to that are in different states. DH and I got married on the beach a couple weeks ago, but we only had three people there (friends that live here). So we're planning a larger wedding for next year. The issue is... we want it in WV and currently live in Hawaii. Most of DH's side would be within a few hours of driving distance, but most of the guests on my side would have to fly.

    I know the likeliness of guests not attending if they have that flight expense is significantly greater, and DH and I should budget to pay for lodging for those individuals who do have to travel long ways, but that's all I have.

    Help! Any other general wedding advice is welcome.
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    #2
    We had our big wedding in my home state. The only people from DH's state who came was MIL and his best friend. MIL is flight attendant so she flew free and we paid for the best man to have a buddy pass.

    I'm not sure how your family is but I'd just ask them (namely the few people most important to you) realistically if they would come.

    The only other thing I would worry about is planning it. My mom, aunts and friends did 99% of finding a venue, flowers, etc...and I know I wouldn't have been able to pull anything together from our of state without their help.
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    #3
    My mum literally just did this last week. She lives back home in the UK, but my sister and I are in the states. We got notice of the wedding in December, and realistically 3 months wasn't enough time to book a transatlantic plane ticket + take off a week of PTO for the wedding right after the holidays when we were out there. A lot of family would have been able to make it work if we knew about it earlier, as we would have planned our holiday/winter travel a bit differently. Of course, we made it out there and wouldn't have missed it for the world, but if it were me getting married, I'd definitely consider giving my guests enough notice to be able to buy tickets in advance and make arrangements for the trip.

    btw!
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    #4
    We planned our CA wedding while we lived in FL. (We did move to CA a few months before the wedding.)

    It really wasn't much different than a local wedding. Many of our friends were in CA and didn't have to travel, but some did. I've never attended or been invited to an out of state wedding where they offered to pay for Lodging though. I mean, that's a nice gesture but it's not at all necessary. Generally, for out of state weddings I've always just gotten a card with suggested lodging info in it, but we were on our own to pay for it. And yes, I'd be prepared for lots of people to decline both because it is not local for them and because you are already married. But that's not really a reason to alter your plans in any way, other than to maybe guess at how many people you need so you can guess at budget and venue size needed.
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    #5
    We had our wedding in MD where I lived...most everyone from my side of the family came but DH's family couldn't all make it as they were coming from Oregon. I have never seen a bride/groom pay for lodging. My sister just got married this fall and it was considered a destination wedding even ing VA and everyone who came either went back home to DC or they got a hotel and had to pay. My mom basically did all the planning for that wedding as my sister was in WA state.
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    Quote Originally Posted by [his] lobster View Post
    We had our big wedding in my home state. The only people from DH's state who came was MIL and his best friend. MIL is flight attendant so she flew free and we paid for the best man to have a buddy pass.

    I'm not sure how your family is but I'd just ask them (namely the few people most important to you) realistically if they would come.

    The only other thing I would worry about is planning it. My mom, aunts and friends did 99% of finding a venue, flowers, etc...and I know I wouldn't have been able to pull anything together from our of state without their help.
    MIL will be helping a ton since she lives there, and DH has been to a few possible venues throughout his life so he's crossing things off he know don't fit our style.

    Quote Originally Posted by KittenMittens View Post
    My mum literally just did this last week. She lives back home in the UK, but my sister and I are in the states. We got notice of the wedding in December, and realistically 3 months wasn't enough time to book a transatlantic plane ticket + take off a week of PTO for the wedding right after the holidays when we were out there. A lot of family would have been able to make it work if we knew about it earlier, as we would have planned our holiday/winter travel a bit differently. Of course, we made it out there and wouldn't have missed it for the world, but if it were me getting married, I'd definitely consider giving my guests enough notice to be able to buy tickets in advance and make arrangements for the trip.

    btw!
    Thank you! We're still over a year out, so people should have over 8 months to prepare once we pick a venue and send out invites.

    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    We planned our CA wedding while we lived in FL. (We did move to CA a few months before the wedding.)

    It really wasn't much different than a local wedding. Many of our friends were in CA and didn't have to travel, but some did. I've never attended or been invited to an out of state wedding where they offered to pay for Lodging though. I mean, that's a nice gesture but it's not at all necessary. Generally, for out of state weddings I've always just gotten a card with suggested lodging info in it, but we were on our own to pay for it. And yes, I'd be prepared for lots of people to decline both because it is not local for them and because you are already married. But that's not really a reason to alter your plans in any way, other than to maybe guess at how many people you need so you can guess at budget and venue size needed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Margot31 View Post
    We had our wedding in MD where I lived...most everyone from my side of the family came but DH's family couldn't all make it as they were coming from Oregon. I have never seen a bride/groom pay for lodging. My sister just got married this fall and it was considered a destination wedding even ing VA and everyone who came either went back home to DC or they got a hotel and had to pay. My mom basically did all the planning for that wedding as my sister was in WA state.
    Should we try and block out rooms if we choose a resort then? So there is definitely a place for them to stay? I guess I just figured since some people will be traveling across the country it was the right thing to do.

    Everyone on my side is either a very close family member or friend. I didn't intend to invite people I didn't regularly interact with. I want an intimate wedding. Or, as intimate as we can get with DH's big family.
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    #7
    Yes block rooms but don't pay for them. That is up to the person who is attending the wedding. My mother always blocked rooms for people or supplied information for local hotels.
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    #8
    We blocked rooms and because of that got a fairly significant discount, but we did not pay for the rooms. I've been a guest at several out of state (for me and others) weddings and I've never had my room paid for, even when I was actually in the wedding.
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    #9
    I agree with others, I have never attended a wedding where the rooms were paid for, even the out of state ones. I do appreciate when the couple gets a block of rooms reserved though. It takes the guess work out of deciding on where to stay in a city you haven't been to or don't know well. Congrats!
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    #10
    We blocked rooms but IIRC, we also included information about a cheaper option. With the block, there was a discount, but there were still other places that were cheaper to stay, so I believe we did both to give people options.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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