what do you do?

[mariko]

so he's gone for a couple months doing what he needs to do for the military but i still have a wedding to plan. three of my four bridesmaids are on the mainland, i live in hawaii, and the one here... our schedules conflict. my mom and i butt heads too much because of her "traditional" thinking of how weddings should go, which is even more enforced by her boyfriend. my dad and his fiance are great support when i can get in touch with either of them. and now he's gone too. ::: no, i don't have many friends here to help, most i lost touch with because i became antisocial after some drama happened. which is my fault, no question. i just don't know what i should do. just elope when he gets back? deal with it and give my parents what they want for the ceremony? he says he doesn't really care, as long as we get married and i'm happy. so... any suggestions? i'm about to say f*ck it, and elope when he gets back, but i want my daddy to walk me down the isle. so... yeah. i really don't know what to do.

[Trescha]

planning a wedding is VERY stressful and does not always bring out the best in family members. I planned my wedding in 2months for 100people and worked full time and went to school full time. it was so crazy. i think comprimise(sp) is a big thing. So maybe you and your mom and come to the middle about things. but i promise in the end everything will be worth it! But if you feel JOP would be better for yall....then i would go for it! your way hun.

[luvmysailor81904]

I have planned weddings and assisted in the cordination of weddings so feel free to PM me any questions! I am also in Hawaii

[Kelsey]

I had hardly any help planning my wedding while DH was in basic training. My mom would go with me to some of the vendors, but I made all the decisions, did all of the actual planning, etc...and the vendors took care of the rest. It can be done - just do what YOU want for your wedding. remember it's YOUR day and no one else's! I know it's stressful now, but just hang in there and good luck!

[Traci]

I had to plan my entire wedding when he was on deployment. Once he got back we got married 2 weeks later. I was in VA but we both had family in NJ and Va. At first the wedding was going to be in July of 95 in NJ. I had already put deposits down on stuff and so on. Well everyone started dictating me around. I got so pissed off trying to make everyone else happy that one day I said screw it. I moved the wedding to Va and had it 3 months early in April of 95. I felt so much better.. I wrote DH a letter told him I changed the date an why. He said OK and that was that.

[mariko]

thanks ladies!! i know its possible, just somewhat overwhelmed right now.

[Victoria]

If I had to do it all over again, I don't think I would've eloped. If you parents are offering to pay, let them!

[jlbecker]

i planned our wedding while he was away too. it can be very stressful, even with a full support system. however, you dont seem to have much support nearby to help you along. my suggestion would be to plan something small. i definitely wouldn't have changed a thing, even when i thought the stress would eat me alive

[akpnjg]

I am currently planning a wedding and my DF is on deployment. It is very stressful. I have a SIL and mom that want to help but at times they get way to wrapped up in it and want things done their way. Just today I had to remind them both that this is MY wedding! Hang in there. I think you should have a small wedding so your dad can walk you down the aisle. It sounds like that is very important to you!! Goodluck and if you need to vent or anything feel free to PM me!!!

[Del]

I helped a friend work a wedding in a week. It was insane, but possible.

Moral of the story: Do what you want and be happy. Whatever it is, you can deal, and once it's over, it'll all be worth it!