MIL help!

[Dannys Love<3]

Alright, DH and I are already married but still plan on having a nice reception sometime next year. It's going to be back in NY and since my parents plan on helping out the most with money they are helping put it all together.

Nowwww, MIL is like, taking it all into her own hands. I already have a WEDDING HALL picked out, and she's talking about having it at the local firehouse =\

She also planning my bridal party >=[
First off, I want no kids unto 16 in it. She's already told her 10 year old son that he will be in it.

On top of that, her other son is going into the USMC aswell. first, she's saying we have to plan the date around him so he can come[there's no planing with the usmc, and we already agreed on a date.] THEN, she plans on him being in uniform[he's going to be in the bridal party]. I made it veryyyyy clear that when it come to the bridal party, I only want DH in uniform. [I want the bridal party to look a very specific away.]

I don't know what to do. He already completely ruined our actual wedding weekend back in August. I don't want her to ruin this either. =[

[Am]

While I understand her wanting to include family, it's YOUR wedding. You're adults. Put your foot down and say no on what really matters to you. Also, pick your battles with her. No use in getting off on the wrong foot with your in-laws over a shade of blue.

[Mrz. Robinson]

I have he same problem..Just do what you want to do.

[savvy<3dizzy]

Put your foot down if you don't she will continue to change plans on you and make you feel like you have to agree with her simply because she is your MIL. Tell her no its your wedding/reception and you want to do things how you imagine them and she is welcome to help with YOUR plans.

[villanelle]

You may have to decide between taking her money or having control over everything. It it hard to do both if she thinks that her money means she calls the shots.

What does your DH think? He should really be the one standign up to her, not you.

[His*PITA*]

This is your wedding/reception... you will need to stand up to her, you already have a reception hall and it is your call on what the bridal party wears (have you talked to your BIL about it one on one?)

However, you also need to choose your battles, while it may not be your dream wedding party if the 10 year old is in it, it may be important to the family, or at least her (idk his relationship to your DH) for him to be in it...

In the end its your day and you should have it the way you want, but its also important to keep in mind that some things, in the long run, are not worth fighting over...

[Veronica Lin]

Oh wow I dont miss the MIL drama.

I planned DH and I's wedding while he was away at BCT and AIT. DH's mother decided like 4 weeks before the wedding that I wasnt doing a good enough job and that her son deserved a better wedding. Girl you better believe I blew up. I felt bad cause DH was away and his mom kept putting him in the middle. But in the end it worked on my behalf. She ended up making a fool out of herself. She had gotten so bad that I almost cancelled the wedding and just went to the JOP. Then I came to my senses and decided that I was not going to let ANYONE ruin my wedding. You have got to set your boundries and stick to it! Do NOT let anyone ruin your day. You only get to have a wedding once in your lifetime - make it the way YOU want it.

[Am]

OP, I'm not pushing you in one direction or another. I just have a couple questions.

Is not having his brothers in his wedding okay with your DH? Is that something you both want? I guess I'm not understanding why 16 is the cutoff. I'm also really close to my siblings so I'd want them all in my wedding regardless of age. It's okay if you (or your DH's family is different). The idea is just foreign to me that age could interfere with that.

Just make sure that whatever happens is what you and you husband want, together. Anyone outside of that, even your MIL, shouldn't really have much say except your parents since their footing the bill. Even then, stress what's important to you. Let go of what isn't.

[HisCupcake]

despite what she says to you, its your wedding, shes not paying for it, your family is. Your the one who has the end decision. Jus tell her its YOUR wedding, she had the chance to plan her own wedding, now its your turn. During my wedding planning I had ALOT of people push stuff on me and DH was deployed and it got out of control. Then I realized in the end I had the final decision, and its MY wedding.

[Dannys Love<3]

Originally Posted by CarolinaHokie OP, I'm not pushing you in one direction or another. I just have a couple questions. Is not having his brothers in his wedding okay with your DH? Is that something you both want? I guess I'm not understanding why 16 is the cutoff. I'm also really close to my siblings so I'd want them all in my wedding regardless of age. It's okay if you (or your DH's family is different). The idea is just foreign to me that age could interfere with that. Just make sure that whatever happens is what you and you husband want, together. Anyone outside of that, even your MIL, shouldn't really have much say except your parents since their footing the bill. Even then, stress what's important to you. Let go of what isn't.

He doesn't want his 10 year old brother in it. He's to much of a handful when it would come to pictures and stuff, and also, I'm not having and Jr. brides maids or flower girls, so he has no-one his age to walk with, we agree it would look silly. He's got 3 brothers all together, and they all try to make the 10 year old cry, I don't want to deal with that crap. They already ruined the day we actually got married with that BS. I'm not putting up with it again.


His twin brother is his best man. And his 18 year old brother will be in MOS school. We would absolutely LOVE to have him there, but we can't wait another year to start making plans. If MOS school won't let him go, we can't do anything about it, which does make me sad =[
He aready said he doesn't care about wearing his uniform, whatever makes me happy, but his mother still said, after me and BIL talked about it, that he's wearing his uniform....????

But the thing with his mom is that, although DH and I see eye to eye, he doesn't have it in him to really stand up to his mom on things like that. he flat out really doesn't care, and would rather me suck it up to keep his mom happy =\
Ummmmm, I have an issue with that.
She already completely ruined my wedding weekend. All she did was cry the ENTIRE weekend because she didn't want her son to get married. The first time we saw DH in over 2 1/2 months, and his wedding weekend, she sat in her hotel room and cried about how he was going to get married to me.
On top of that, I had our JOP ceremony perfectly planned. She turned it ass backwards and upside down. But DH didn't stand up to anything cause he didn't want to make her cry... Understandable, but she needs to suck it up.

The way she sees it is her baby is getting married.
I'm my parent youngest and only daughter, she literally said to me that 'danny is my oldest son, its the first and most important'[His mom has always and CLEARLY played favorites]