Marriage before Deployment?

[IndyGirl]

I was just curious to know if you know someone, or if you yourself have gotten married right before a deployment? I know a lot of people are against the idea of just getting married because of that, but I feel it's a great way of reassuring your guy that you'll always be there for them and you truly love them.....any thoughts?

[pinknpretty4564]

you should not get married simply to reassure him. wives can cheat just as easily as fiancees and girlfriends.
you should only get married if it is the right step in your relationship. if you love eachother and you want to get married then go for it. but do it for the right reasons, not merely because he's deploying and you dont want him to worry about the relationship while he is gone.

Edited to add....
Dh and I got married a month before he deployed. We had already been engaged for 7 months and we were planning a wedding for december of this year. Alot of things happend, switching units and just a whole big mess and he ended up getting orders to deploy in August. Rather than waiting, we got married. But that was right for us. And we had already decided to get married deployment or no deployment.
Do what is right for you and your relationship. But take all things into consideration, not just the upcoming deployment.

[~Jules~]

Honestly, my thoughts are that its not a good idea. And I'm not trying to offed anyone that did it, because if it works out then thats awesome! But to me, if you have commited to them that you will be there, then a piece of paper and rings won't change that.

If you guys have been together for a while, and know that you want to be together then go for it. But if there are any doubts, then I would wait. Some people change during deployment (both the deployed person and the one waiting), and its not always for the best.

Basically, just think it through more thoroughly than just "hmm... its a great way to reassure them that I will still be here." A ring should not be the only thing keeping you around.

[Nicki082106]

I am/will be. It's not for those reasons though. We wanted to do it next summer and our date has changed many times. We could have waited till after he got back, but we didn't want too. Plus with the way my grandpa is, I really want him to be there, and we will be more financially stable doing it before. But again it's not because of the money and not because of making sure he knows that I'm still going to be around throughout his stressful/fun time (yes, I said fun, he cannot wait to get deployed). It's because we love each other more than anything and want to be together. Doing it before was just the best way to go for our reasons. Hope this helps! Sorry it's so long!

[Maddi]

My guy and I were engaged before he left and decided to wait until he got back before we wed. Thank goodness. We went through a really rough period where I was glad I had the choice of getting out. There is a lot of pressure during a deployment. DF needed to get his act together or I was gone. He's changed a lot for the better and now I see nothing but stars in his eyes.

[clawson]

I am so glad someone asked this because I am in the same situation.
DF is deploying in December and we are currently engaged and planning a fairly large wedding for when he comes home, but we he made the suggestion of getting a JOP ceremony before he leaves and still doing the large wedding with family when he comes home.
So I guess my question is what do people thing about it?

[Am]

OP, based on what you said here, I think you should wait. Another "great way of reassuring him that you'll be there" is COMMUNICATION. Reassure him through words, letters, packages. Marriage shouldn't be treated as a security blanket.

Originally Posted by clawson I am so glad someone asked this because I am in the same situation. DF is deploying in December and we are currently engaged and planning a fairly large wedding for when he comes home, but we he made the suggestion of getting a JOP ceremony before he leaves and still doing the large wedding with family when he comes home. So I guess my question is what do people thing about it?

Clawson, I think it's a completely different situation. You're already planning a wedding and I think it's fine that you might decide to move it up. For us, it was best to wait. It'll give you time to plan and bulk up your budget. A JOP is something neither one of us could do. A big wedding was more important to us than having a piece of paper right away. Plus, if you haven't already been through a deployment/readjustment, it'll bring your problems to light, teach you how to work through them, and make your relationship stronger. DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU!

[jana]

After reading your post, I feel that you should wait. Deployment is stressful enough, but to add a marriage on top of that. Deployments are another time to grow in your relationship and trust for one another.

[His*PITA*]

Originally Posted by IndyGirl I was just curious to know if you know someone, or if you yourself have gotten married right before a deployment? I know a lot of people are against the idea of just getting married because of that, but I feel it's a great way of reassuring your guy that you'll always be there for them and you truly love them.....any thoughts?

Wow... anyone who believes that getting married is a great way to reassure a guy that you will always be there and truly love him is sadly mistaken....

Its a good idea if you already plan on getting married and your SO gets an unexpected deployment date change or something along those lines... Not because you wanna show him you will always be there... Deployments are hard and it will make or break a relationship... Now this is just my opinion, you need to do whats right for you and none of us here knows what that is

Originally Posted by clawson I am so glad someone asked this because I am in the same situation. DF is deploying in December and we are currently engaged and planning a fairly large wedding for when he comes home, but we he made the suggestion of getting a JOP ceremony before he leaves and still doing the large wedding with family when he comes home. So I guess my question is what do people thing about it?

This is different then what the OP is talking about (or at least what it comes across as her saying)

You are already engaged, already planning a wedding, and all that goes with it. Moving it up in this case I would understand and think may be a good idea!

[HisCupcake]

Originally Posted by IndyGirl I was just curious to know if you know someone, or if you yourself have gotten married right before a deployment? I know a lot of people are against the idea of just getting married because of that, but I feel it's a great way of reassuring your guy that you'll always be there for them and you truly love them.....any thoughts?

we got married two months before deployment, but we also already been through a deployment together previously & we werent married and we made it thru it. So our thing was if we make it thru the first deployment than we will get married when he gets home and thats what we did.