Need some advice.... - Weddings

Gabrielle18 · 03-21-2006, 03:18 PM

Hi! My fiance and I are in a little delema. I'm moving out to the WA soon to be with him. Here's the issue...we both want a small wedding soon (to get benefits, live on base etc.) , and then have the "big" wedding later. The only problem is getting married is a really really important thing for me (like most people) and I don't want exclue our families (at least close family). Also is it not proper ettiquit to have the "big" wedding a year or two later?? (if this doesn't make any sense just let me know). Also this is a really dumb question but i'm rather new to all this message board stuff but what does DF, DH etc. that everyone refers to their loved ones?
THANKS!!!!

punksuzy · 03-21-2006, 03:22 PM

Dear Fiance, Dear Husband, etc. i don't think it's bad etiquette to have a small wedding now and a big one later. we got married at the clerk's office in December of '04 with just my grandma as a witness, and then had our "big" wedding in April of '05. however you want to do it is up to you! just don't expect presents both times.

Meghann · 03-21-2006, 03:25 PM

There are quite a few people on this board, and other people I know that have done a small wedding because of timeing or whatever the circumstance may be, and then had the "big wedding" later on. I'm currently in the process of planning my big wedding and it's exciting!!

I totally understand wanting family to be there and trying not to exclude anyone, but that's exactly why I'm having another "bigger" wedding because none of my own family was there for the first one. I see nothing wrong with it at all.

DB= Dear (sometimes Damn) Boyfriend
DF= Fiance
DH= Husband

~~NewBeginnings~~ · 03-21-2006, 03:25 PM

We got married at the JOP March of last year.. When our daughter is 2 or 3 we'll have a big wedding so she can be in it... None of our family were at the JOP ceremony

Mrs_Snafu · 03-21-2006, 05:24 PM

I think it is fine

We got married (just us, no family or friends) almost two years ago by the JOP too. Our family understood (they are very spread apart) When he gets out for our 5th year aniv we plan to renew our vows and have our big wedding.

Nicole1788 · 03-21-2006, 11:11 PM

We did a JOP wedding last month, we are planning on a larger one when the time is better.

Gabrielle18 · 03-22-2006, 09:27 AM

Thanks so much for the advice!!! It's nice to know that other women are or have been in the same situation!!

Beccafries · 03-22-2006, 02:50 PM

You could always get married secretly or just tell immediate family if you
wanted too, not everyone would know...and have something bigger later

Gabrielle18 · 03-22-2006, 02:59 PM

We had thought of the idea of doing it secretly, but after thinking about it I realized I don't think I could live with myself if I made it a secret to my family and close friends. Its such a big thing to keep a secret and I don't want anyone to get hurt by our decision not to tell them.

03-21-2006, 03:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gabrielle18 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 233 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 62%	Need some advice.... Hi! My fiance and I are in a little delema. I'm moving out to the WA soon to be with him. Here's the issue...we both want a small wedding soon (to get benefits, live on base etc.) , and then have the "big" wedding later. The only problem is getting married is a really really important thing for me (like most people) and I don't want exclue our families (at least close family). Also is it not proper ettiquit to have the "big" wedding a year or two later?? (if this doesn't make any sense just let me know). Also this is a really dumb question but i'm rather new to all this message board stuff but what does DF, DH etc. that everyone refers to their loved ones? THANKS!!!! __________________ Gabrielle http://www.myspace.com/gabrielle918

03-21-2006, 03:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
punksuzy I love Boo! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Port Hueneme, CA Posts: 256 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 65%	Dear Fiance, Dear Husband, etc. i don't think it's bad etiquette to have a small wedding now and a big one later. we got married at the clerk's office in December of '04 with just my grandma as a witness, and then had our "big" wedding in April of '05. however you want to do it is up to you! just don't expect presents both times. __________________

03-21-2006, 11:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
Nicole1788 Trying to Break Free Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Out of hell soon! Posts: 5,097 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 67%	We did a JOP wedding last month, we are planning on a larger one when the time is better. __________________ Ive been ***** slapped

03-22-2006, 09:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
Gabrielle18 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 233 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 62%	Thanks so much for the advice!!! It's nice to know that other women are or have been in the same situation!! __________________ Gabrielle http://www.myspace.com/gabrielle918

03-22-2006, 02:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Beccafries Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,317 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 29% Longevity: 67%	You could always get married secretly or just tell immediate family if you wanted too, not everyone would know...and have something bigger later __________________

About Us

MilitarySOS Shortcuts

MilitarySOS Help

About MilitarySOS

03-21-2006, 03:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Meghann Another countdown begins... Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,361 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 64%	There are quite a few people on this board, and other people I know that have done a small wedding because of timeing or whatever the circumstance may be, and then had the "big wedding" later on. I'm currently in the process of planning my big wedding and it's exciting!! I totally understand wanting family to be there and trying not to exclude anyone, but that's exactly why I'm having another "bigger" wedding because none of my own family was there for the first one. I see nothing wrong with it at all. DB= Dear (sometimes Damn) Boyfriend DF= Fiance DH= Husband

03-21-2006, 03:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
~~NewBeginnings~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,369 Blog Entries: 5 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 62%	We got married at the JOP March of last year.. When our daughter is 2 or 3 we'll have a big wedding so she can be in it... None of our family were at the JOP ceremony

03-21-2006, 05:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mrs_Snafu Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 424 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 63%	I think it is fine We got married (just us, no family or friends) almost two years ago by the JOP too. Our family understood (they are very spread apart) When he gets out for our 5th year aniv we plan to renew our vows and have our big wedding.

03-22-2006, 02:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
Gabrielle18 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 233 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 62%	We had thought of the idea of doing it secretly, but after thinking about it I realized I don't think I could live with myself if I made it a secret to my family and close friends. Its such a big thing to keep a secret and I don't want anyone to get hurt by our decision not to tell them. __________________ Gabrielle http://www.myspace.com/gabrielle918