had anyone been a surrogate mother??

[Casey]

I have always thought of this, even before I was married. I just thought that it wasnt fair for some people to not be able to have babies when there are women out there that could pop them out like crazy. Well anyway, after our bought of fertility issues, I felt even more strongly about it and I discussed having a surrogate for us if we never got pg. My DH agreed and didnt have a problem at all. Well since we ended up having our beautiful daughter all on our own, I feel even more strongly about this. I just feel that since I am capable of bringing babies into the world and I know what kind of joy having a child of your own can bring to you after all the heart ache of trying and not succeding, well I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate mother. My only concern is health problems. I was wondering if anyone had done this before or new anyone who had. TIA!

[Traci]

I have never done it and I never would. I think it's for some and not for others. I just don't think I could deal with all the emotions that come along with it. And I could never give up a child I carried for nine months. Alot of women do it and it is a wonderful gift. God bless them and you for thinking about it. It's great you have DH's support.

[Casey]

Yeah I think I would really be able to do it. I mean it would be hard because of course you would have an attachment, but I would know that I was doing this to bring another couple a kind of joy that they cant do on their own. And DH is completely supportive of this. He actually asked me today if I still wanted to do it and I said yes probably but not until I am done having kids.

[jlbecker]

I have not been a surrogate, but I had a child whom I gave up for adoption. It is intensely emotional, but one of the most wonderful gifts that you can give. i have very mixed emotions and I dont think I could do it simply because of my own experiences. But i am proud to have given such a gift and if you think you're up for it, you are a blessing.

[aubrey]

I think it's wonderful for ppl to be surrogates! My SIL wants to be one too. I'll give the same advice I gave her - just be sure you're done having kids of your own. In case something happens with the pg that keeps you from having future children.

It's a wonderful gift!

[Casey]

Originally Posted by aubrey I think it's wonderful for ppl to be surrogates! My SIL wants to be one too. I'll give the same advice I gave her - just be sure you're done having kids of your own. In case something happens with the pg that keeps you from having future children. It's a wonderful gift!

That's exactly what I told DH! I just want to have our children, and then do it. I think trying it once would be good, then if all goes well, I will do it when/if I can.

[Bex]

Originally Posted by jlbecker I have not been a surrogate, but I had a child whom I gave up for adoption. It is intensely emotional, but one of the most wonderful gifts that you can give. i have very mixed emotions and I dont think I could do it simply because of my own experiences. But i am proud to have given such a gift and if you think you're up for it, you are a blessing.

wow, i didn't know that, jamie!! that's wonderful. i was adopted (born to a 15 yr old and a 17 yr old) at birth though know i know both my adoptive parents (and sisters) and had a wonderful childhood as a result.

[Bex]

Originally Posted by Casey I have always thought of this, even before I was married. I just thought that it wasnt fair for some people to not be able to have babies when there are women out there that could pop them out like crazy. Well anyway, after our bought of fertility issues, I felt even more strongly about it and I discussed having a surrogate for us if we never got pg. My DH agreed and didnt have a problem at all. Well since we ended up having our beautiful daughter all on our own, I feel even more strongly about this. I just feel that since I am capable of bringing babies into the world and I know what kind of joy having a child of your own can bring to you after all the heart ache of trying and not succeding, well I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate mother. My only concern is health problems. I was wondering if anyone had done this before or new anyone who had. TIA!

i know a couple people who did it purely for the $$. i guess whatever motivates... if you're truly in for the gift of life, and you truly believe that you won't be emotionally and physically drained by it (ie it won't harm your current marriage and take time/attention away from your own child) -- go for it. i personally wouldn't do it while my children are so young, based on the fact that pregnancy takes it out of you emotionally and physically and that's not fair for me to take away from my own children (and husband) -- i've considered egg donation and have thought about surrogacy in my later years... but certainly not at this time when i have enough on my plate.

[jlbecker]

Originally Posted by troublemaker wow, i didn't know that, jamie!! that's wonderful. i was adopted (born to a 15 yr old and a 17 yr old) at birth though know i know both my adoptive parents (and sisters) and had a wonderful childhood as a result.

well , it's not something i shout from the rooftops. for children adopted into loving families. it's great that you are in contact with your biological parents. I hope to someday be contacted.
In regards to the surrogacy, what kind of impact do you think it will have on the potential child? would you keep in touch? it's wonderful that some couples now have this option.

[Joy]

I have a friend that did and it's hard but she goes to counseling for the loss she feels sometimes. She DOES NOT have children of her own yet, but she became a surrogate for a friend of the family.