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Thread: struggling

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    struggling

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    I'm warning you guys this is a whining thread

    My cousins been in an abusive relationship for about 8 years now. We've tried to get her away from him for years but she has 3 boys under the age of 6 with this man. He left her for a bit and she didnt have any money to take care of the kids so CPS got involved and her kids were almost taken away from her.

    well today I read that she's off to the hospital about to give birth to her 4th boy.

    Today is the first day that I feel extremely jealous of someone having a baby and of course it has to be my own family. I cant help but think why not me ya know? I could be a good mom if I was given the chance...like why not me ya know? I'm doing everything I possibly can and still cant manage to get pregnant...I cant keep thinking about what I could have possibly done in life to deserve such heart break and constant let downs


    It's only 7:30 and I need wine
  2. we were all rooting for you
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    #2
  3. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
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    <3 Anthiea <3 KittenMittens <3
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    I don't have any words, just .. Lots of to you.
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    Sorry for your situation. I can relate on some level as I feel the same with certain things in my life, like why others and not me and it really is hard to deal with sometimes. I'm not too religious but I like to believe that things happen for a reason (God's plan or whatever), so I try to remind myself of that, though it barely helps when you're feeling down.
  6. Senior Member
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    #6
    I have wondered the 'why not me' so many times. A few weeks ago, I found out an ex best friend from high school is pregnant. She's an awful person, she's hurt so many people including my exboyfriend/best friend. The dad is a mutual friend of mine who I've know for a long time, he's throwing his life away. I couldn't help but wonder "how come I don't get the chance?" It sucks so much to feel that way, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know it's not much of a consolation but you're not alone

    Quote Originally Posted by VicDelo View Post
    Sorry for your situation. I can relate on some level as I feel the same with certain things in my life, like why others and not me and it really is hard to deal with sometimes. I'm not too religious but I like to believe that things happen for a reason (God's plan or whatever), so I try to remind myself of that, though it barely helps when you're feeling down.
    I know you meant well but there are certain things that are really frustrating to here when you struggle with infertility, and this is one of those things, at least for me. It's along the lines of "it will happen when its meant to" or other nonsense. Infertility just sucks, there's no reason OP doesn't deserve a baby right now.


  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
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  8. I'm not drunk, you're just blurry.
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    #8
    I'm sorry hon

    I'm in the same exact boat as you right now. My little sister told me she was pregnant Friday and it about DESTROYED me. I have been fine with other people announcing pregnancies, my SIL getting pregnant and having her baby last year was a little rough, but having my sister get pregnant just made me feel empty. Then at the same time I was so excited for her but it was the crappiest cluster of feelings ever. I cried for about an hour. And then I felt like a shitty person because I have DD and I've had people tell me "well at least you have her!" but it's not the same. She's my world yes. But I also have DH and while he loves DD and doesn't even acknowledge the fact that he's not biologically her dad, I know he still wants one with me.

    It's really hard. Having a baby is such a joyous thing and when you're silently struggling with infertility it can be hard to be around it and be so invested in it when it's family.


  9. I'm not drunk, you're just blurry.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    I have wondered the 'why not me' so many times. A few weeks ago, I found out an ex best friend from high school is pregnant. She's an awful person, she's hurt so many people including my exboyfriend/best friend. The dad is a mutual friend of mine who I've know for a long time, he's throwing his life away. I couldn't help but wonder "how come I don't get the chance?" It sucks so much to feel that way, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know it's not much of a consolation but you're not alone


    I know you meant well but there are certain things that are really frustrating to here when you struggle with infertility, and this is one of those things, at least for me. It's along the lines of "it will happen when its meant to" or other nonsense. Infertility just sucks, there's no reason OP doesn't deserve a baby right now.
    Thank you for saying that, oh man. THAT is the hardest part for me right now. Everyone, and I mean everyone (family, friends, even DH sometimes), keeps telling me that it will happen in due time, God's plan etc. and it just makes me so angry. Like I am doing everything right I have suffered, struggled and put so much effort into this TTC journey and I feel like someone telling me "It'll happen when it's supposed to!" negates my feelings.

    VicDelo, I'm totally not unloading that on you either because you have such good intentions, I just really hate that phrase


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    #10
    I get it, like I said, it doesn't make it any easier at the time, but I try to calm myself down by knowing that I may not understand why I'm going thru something now, but hopefully later on I will. Really meant it more towards OP's cousin and that situation more so than about infertility.
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