Adoption confusion

[SezzySue]

So dh and I have talked for awhile about adopting. Then when infertility became an issue, it wasn't dh's first choice, but he came around to it. Its a matter of IVF or paying for adoption and waiting. I am ready to start adoption now if it means we could get closer, but dh all of a sudden doesn't seem interested. He now thinks just having sex will make it work. Considering I only ovulate on one side, and have a low count of eggs, its not the most likely I will get pregnant. But yeah.

So he was asking questions about it and we talked about a lot of things. I asked how old he would want a baby to be because we aren't set on a newborn. And he said he wants to wait awhile before we go through with adoption.

That scares me. I thought we were ready to go and now I think he is reconsidering. He said he wants to wait till he has all the things he wants, then to have a savings built up. That means paying off my car, buying his new t,v he wants a new truck, and a few other things. We don't charge anything so we can't just buy it all. But we have enough to pay off my car, and then no money for adoption.

I don't know if that was all he could come up with or if he is really being materialistic. I just don't get it. We were both ready, at least he said he was. We were just waiting until I turned 25, and thats in a month. Now I don't know.

Ugh its so stressful. I was so ready to give up on IVF due to cost for right now and start in on the adoption process. I mean I plan to do both eventually, and dh was ok with that.


I don't know anymore.

[Fidzy]

I can understand the confusion there. If you've been planning to go forward with something, it's hard to put the brakes on it in your mind.

[SezzySue]

I am not ready to break. I mean if he doesn't want to do adoption right now then I need to know so I can find a new RE and we can proced with IVF or at least another IUI

[rosebud*]

he may just not be ready and is trying to say it without saying it because he knows you want it so badly. I think a frank talk is in order.

[terribletm]

I'm adopted.

My parents did the infertility thing and then ended up being on waiting lists for 7 years to get me. My suggestion is don't push. If he isn't ready he isn't ready.

[SezzySue]

Well if the costs are the same, then I might as well just go for the infertility treatment and save adoption for baby #2 then.