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Thread: Just need advice

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    #1

    Exclamation Just need advice

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    I don't understand guys. It feels that once you get into a relationship, the guy starts treating you differently. They know you're staying with them so they seem to expect all this stuff from you. I just wish it was still that flirting and fighting for the girl even afterwards. Only 10 days together and he stopped calling me babe and stopped trying to get to know me. I don't understand his thought process and I don't know if it will change as we start seeing each other more. Right now it just seems like it's all about sex.

    If anyone has advice I would love it!!
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    I'm a guy! So i'll jump into this one.
    Every guy is different and its unfair to stereotype. And guys can also say that girls change too.
    But a lot of it is the guy may not KNOW that he is changing and it is hurting you. and, maybe more important, before you get together, he is on his "best behavior" trying to impress you, make you happy, etc.

    If you don't talk to him, it is on you. He may also just may be a jerk. Only he knows. Girls confuse us as much, or more, than we confuse you.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    You mentioned he was significantly older than you in another post (you didn't say how old he was though)... Coming from someone who has dated guys in their forties... Guys in their forties are only in it for the sex Seriously, most of the guys in their forties really only seem to be in it for sex. Either their divorced and want good sex with no relationship because they've already had that, or they're bachelors for life.
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    All of that is very true...thank you. I think I tend to over think stuff as well. I am in no means trying to stereotype...it's that when we talk its about sex...I want to know other things about him and attempt to ask, but then he jut stops texting...idk. Ill figure out more in time. But thank you very much for your input!
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    Oh umm by five years
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    Quote Originally Posted by CC22 View Post
    You mentioned he was significantly older than you in another post (you didn't say how old he was though)... Coming from someone who has dated guys in their forties... Guys in their forties are only in it for the sex Seriously, most of the guys in their forties really only seem to be in it for sex. Either their divorced and want good sex with no relationship because they've already had that, or they're bachelors for life.
    But you can say the same about guys in their teens, twenties, and thirties too. and older!
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    But you can say the same about guys in their teens, twenties, and thirties too. and older!
    It's not the same... Younger guys still have the option of changing. And many of them already think, oh I want a family one day but right now I'm having fun. Therefore you can stay with them and they'll come around eventually. Guys in their forties don't tend to come around.

    I'm speaking in general terms, obviously there's always exceptions. And that's just been my experience multiple times... For me dating guys in their thirties worked out best... Most of them were moving on to wanting to settle down And my DH is in his 30s, lol. (I'm in my twenties for reference).

    I've always joked about it just being kind of a silly theory, lol. But it just seemed to be what I encountered multiple times.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lckhrt69 View Post
    All of that is very true...thank you. I think I tend to over think stuff as well. I am in no means trying to stereotype...it's that when we talk its about sex...I want to know other things about him and attempt to ask, but then he jut stops texting...idk. Ill figure out more in time. But thank you very much for your input!
    well, there is your answer. All he wants to know about you is sex, and doesn't want anything else from you. You now have a choice. If you want to be more than just sex for him, doesn't sound like HE wants more. And please don't try changing him. Won't work.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    I'm a guy! So i'll jump into this one.
    Every guy is different and its unfair to stereotype. And guys can also say that girls change too.
    But a lot of it is the guy may not KNOW that he is changing and it is hurting you. and, maybe more important, before you get together, he is on his "best behavior" trying to impress you, make you happy, etc.

    If you don't talk to him, it is on you. He may also just may be a jerk. Only he knows. Girls confuse us as much, or more, than we confuse you.
    I agree with the bolded. Once a guy is officially with you, he probably thinks that he doesn't need to impress you anymore. You can start being real with each other.

    I've been with my husband for almost five years now, and he hardly does anything to impress me anymore. I know all the good and all the bad about him, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    My ex is 7 years older than me. I was 19-20 when I dated him, and I think he wanted to date me because he wasn't ready for marriage and a committed relationship, so he was probably thinking I wasn't ready for marriage and a committed relationship either because I was so young compared to him.

    ETA: I meant, my husband hardly has to do anything to impress me anymore. When we first went out, he bought a cool sports car to impress me. Now he spends almost every free minute together with the only reason because we enjoy spending time with each other. Things he does now already make me happy and satisfied in our relationship.
    Last edited by Deifick; 05-18-2013 at 07:14 AM. Reason: ETA
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    #10
    Not always. My DB treats me no differently. Mind you, we've only been together a short time, but he does everything, everyday, to make me feel special. After 10 days, he should definitely still be trying to do "win you over".

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