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Thread: Worried

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    Worried

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    It is around that time of the year, I start to stress over my son. He is high Functioning autistic and there are times you can't tell a difference between him and other kids. Then you get that time and it hits you like a ton of bricks. Will he get a job? Will he get a family of his own? Will he ever leave the house?

    Am I the only one that worries about their kids in those things? I feel so out of place and no one to talk to on it.
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
  2. "...now do Classical Gas"
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    #2
    He probably WILL have most of all of those things. It might be harder for him to do some things, and he needs more help than most children to get there, but...

    It might be worthwhile for you, and for him if he would like it, to see if you can talk to some adults with autism. Not “parents of children with autism”, but the children themselves who have grown up. There must be millions of people like that. You’ve probably met at least one, even if you didn’t know it. They can tell you about what things like dating or finding work have been like for them personally. They can tell him that he’s not the only one.

    Every parent worries about their child sometimes. You have more reasons then most to start, because he IS different...but different does not mean wrong, and with the right kind of support behind him I’m sure he’ll be okay and happy.


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    #3
    My best friend from college is autistic, she has six kids now (she has always wanted a large family) and she works, is married, owns a home, and has her shit together WAY more than I do. Her husband is not autistic, and they are both great people. She has a hard time relating to people sometimes, empathy is hard for her, but she is loving. She is unable to be fake, and you know, I think that's a plus. She is top ten nicest people I know for sure. My daughter's best friend now is autistic and you really can't tell, except when she gets happy she gets flappy, and it's adorable.

    He might struggle finding his way to relate to people, he really might. But in the end I am sure he will find ways to cope with difficulties, and use his autism to find his niche.
    “There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide”


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    #4
    Honestly I kind of feel like this is probably the best time yet in history for him to be growing up, because there's been such a spotlight on autism and what it means. Some of it is negative with the vaccine bullshit, but there are just as many efforts educating the general public on what autism actually is, and it seems like so many more people are being diagnosed than before. I'm sure you could find some communities or resources online for people in your position to give you extra reassurance, but he's gonna be fine. His journey might be different from other kids but he's gonna grow up and be fine.
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    #5
    It is a great time; but, a hard time too. He doesn't have many friends and just happy with his family. He is a 3.8 GPA and just a great kid. I just wish people would see that. even when he is off his rocker, he is fun.

    I might have to talk with his Doctor and see if there is a group around here that could help. We just finally told my husband's parents about it. After 4 years. They were very judgemental people. Now, it is a bit easier since hubby's brother became his sister. I hope.
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    Honestly I kind of feel like this is probably the best time yet in history for him to be growing up, because there's been such a spotlight on autism and what it means. Some of it is negative with the vaccine bullshit, but there are just as many efforts educating the general public on what autism actually is, and it seems like so many more people are being diagnosed than before. I'm sure you could find some communities or resources online for people in your position to give you extra reassurance, but he's gonna be fine. His journey might be different from other kids but he's gonna grow up and be fine.

    The Vaccine crap is old. Totally agree.
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
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    #7
    My nephew is high functioning autistic. He quit college but holds down a full time plus job. He's quiet and sometimes people think he's aluf when he just gives out the world. It's hard not to worry about him but he has some very good friends who are always around when he needs support. And as long as he isn't rushed on learning a task hes awesome.
  8. Team Rocket
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    #8
    DH was diagnosed about 6-7 years ago, as an adult. He does pretty well. It's only "obvious" if he's sick or really stressed out. He has a job that's a great fit for him, with a nice company that won't require him to progress to management level (he specifically asked in his interview).
    Honestly, the concurrent depression and ADHD have been more of an issue than the HF autism. Also the gut issues. You probably know but autism can affect the neurons in the gut too - DH has some protein that is almost high enough for him to be diagnosed with ulcerative colitis but not quite and his doc said it's more common in autistic people.
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    #9
    Since he is high functioning he will most likely live a very typical life. I know people all over the spectrum and only two don't have "normal" lives but are still happy in the way they live their lives. I know it's probably hard not to worry, but there are probably more people around you that are on the spectrum than you realize. People are becoming very accepting.

    I would just work with him and build his independence like you would with any other kid!
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    #10
    DBs son is autistic - realistically speaking he isn’t able to be in “normal” school and even if he “graduates” high school with the extra years he’s allowed we’re not sure what that will mean - can he get a job? Will he have a gf? A normal life? He will always have a guarantor once he’s 18 who can make financial and medical decisions on his behalf and more than likely he’ll always live with us or his mom...we talk about it and wonder about it all the time. Honestly there’s times I feel like he is a normal kid and totally capable just lacking social skills but there’s obviously other moments too that bring up the questions and educationally he seems to be lagging. I think no matter what happens we’ll figure it out and as long as he’s happy it’ll be ok.
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