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Thread: Finding Ex-Wife Items in HHGs Move

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    idratherbehiking's Avatar
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    #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrin View Post
    So I talked with him about. Tried to gently explain that she probably brought them with her when they were married and maybe we should try to make an effort to return the set to her. I told him I knew he was worried about her finding out where he lived and was stationed now (that was always a big worry of his when we were overseas - that he’d come home and she’d be waiting for him in the house), but I had suggestions on how to send from a different state etc. only for him to ask why I was even obsessing over this because he already threw out the set the next morning after we found it unpacking.

    Ultimately, I realize it’s really his call on what to do with them and I don’t understand why I’m even hurt he would choose that over at least attempting. I guess it’s because I brought a lot of family heirlooms into our house when we married and I think I would be devastated if any of them met the trash.

    Thank you ladies for all your advice.
    Before I saw your update I was going to tell you he should mail it back. I asked my own husband what he would do and he said mail it back. If it were trash then that's one thing, but sentimental items are different.




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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Before I saw your update I was going to tell you he should mail it back. I asked my own husband what he would do and he said mail it back. If it were trash then that's one thing, but sentimental items are different.
    I feel like that’s the decent thing to do this update makes me sad honestly lol. I mean sure maybe she’s a psycho who would start stalking them if she got any perceived invitation for contact but most people who break up are just normal people who didn’t work out together. It seems exceptionally bitter and cruel to trash what seemed like sentimental handmade items just because a marriage ended badly. I think my marriage ended pretty badly by basically anyone’s standards and if I had something that probably meant something to my ex husband I’d have the decency to try to get it back to him.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I feel like that’s the decent thing to do this update makes me sad honestly lol. I mean sure maybe she’s a psycho who would start stalking them if she got any perceived invitation for contact but most people who break up are just normal people who didn’t work out together. It seems exceptionally bitter and cruel to trash what seemed like sentimental handmade items just because a marriage ended badly. I think my marriage ended pretty badly by basically anyone’s standards and if I had something that probably meant something to my ex husband I’d have the decency to try to get it back to him.
    Yeah, I agree. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. It makes me sad to think that he hates her so much that he would destroy something important to her just out of spite.




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    #14
    This makes me sad. Many people have been in the x's shoes and would hate to have our precious memories trashed. You might want to consider if you want your own pre-marriage memories in the home. Might be safer at your parent's house, perhaps?
    If it has been long enough for him to remarry and he is still that angry, pay attention to that information.

    Quote Originally Posted by myrin View Post
    So I talked with him about. Tried to gently explain that she probably brought them with her when they were married and maybe we should try to make an effort to return the set to her. I told him I knew he was worried about her finding out where he lived and was stationed now (that was always a big worry of his when we were overseas - that hed come home and shed be waiting for him in the house), but I had suggestions on how to send from a different state etc. only for him to ask why I was even obsessing over this because he already threw out the set the next morning after we found it unpacking.

    Ultimately, I realize its really his call on what to do with them and I dont understand why Im even hurt he would choose that over at least attempting. I guess its because I brought a lot of family heirlooms into our house when we married and I think I would be devastated if any of them met the trash.

    Thank you ladies for all your advice.
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    #15
    ...because of scenarios like this I always advise my friends to have enough money to rent a storage locker in case of a sudden breakup/divorce. In most US states the cops are only so helpful in trying to get back certain sorts of valuables (furniture, motor vehicles, heirlooms.)

    It was so very kind of you to consider returning those items.
  6. I've got 32 flavors of that bootylicious bubblegum.
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by SkylarkButterfly View Post
    ...because of scenarios like this I always advise my friends to have enough money to rent a storage locker in case of a sudden breakup/divorce. In most US states the cops are only so helpful in trying to get back certain sorts of valuables (furniture, motor vehicles, heirlooms.)

    It was so very kind of you to consider returning those items.
    I think that is terrible marriage advice. "Happy marriage day! What's mine is yours! Except for this hidden stash of cash... that's for when I divorce you."

    Also, how are you finding all of these old threads anyway? I really don't care since the site is dead but you have bumped some prettyyyy old threads.


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