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Thread: Is it okay to feel scared?

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    #1

    Is it okay to feel scared?

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    Hi everyone!
    I've been with my Airman for 5 years now and we have been doing long distance for 3. It's been really hard and we're both really over it and just want to be together. Naturally. But I'm actually really scared to move. I have been here, in Michigan, my entire life. My family is here my friends are here, luckily I don't have a career started or that would be another factor. I'm supposed to move to, most likely, Montana with him in May when I finish my degree. My degree is what has held me back from moving this long, because that's more important. But wow, I'm so terrified to leave! All the bad thoughts keep clouding my mind that I'm putting all my eggs into our basket and what if it doesn't even work out? What if the whole reason this has even worked this long is because we don't see each other everyday? But then I get really excited to be able to just be with him on a daily basis and to fight about normal things instead of things like, why didn't you call me before bed last night?
    I know it's time that we move in because I honestly don't think we would survive another year of long distance. We're both really fed up and it's just been weighing on the both of us. Plus, we've been together for 5 years and it's almost like we're at a stand still of just always missing each other and this same routine.
    Is it normal to be scared to move in with someone you love? Please give me some of your stories! Even if you don't have advice it'd be nice to know I'm not alone in this.
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    #2
    When is something like that, that is a good reason to be scared. Major changes in life is scary. Moving, kids....anything that makes your life do a few flips is scary. I have a sister who left her job with the navy (civilian) and moved all the way to england to be with her significant other for the past few months. She actually is headed back in a few days and she has no official job lined up now that the gov't is back on a freeze (she was going to go back to work for the navy through her connections) but she has no idea what is going to happen till she goes back over to England. So yes you have a right to be scared.

    But you won't know until you give it a try. I just did a local move without my husband. Yes yes it was local all of 12 miles and my husband thought I was crazy and thought I shouldn't do it and go back on the waiting list for housing. Well I was scared out of my mind making sure I covered everything that needed to get done. I did it. I have nothing on my walls but my house isn't too shabby right now. We are functioning. I am scared every time I move....what if i don't make friends, what if i hate the area...all the what ifs.....but you don't know till you try.
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    #3
    It is perfectly okay to be scared.
    Big changes are scary!
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    #4
    Thank you for sharing your story with me and making me feel a little more at ease. I'm just so scared and it feels so stupid to be scared to move in with someone that I love! It's just such a contradicting feeling and I go back and forth way more often than I thought I would with May getting closer and closer.
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    #5
    I'm in a similar situation....I have lived in the same town my whole life. I went to high school here, college and its where my whole family lives. I have always dreamed of having a house with land and farm animals...and then I met a sailor on shore duty. We dated less than a year and decided to keep the relationship going long distance. We got married in July and he went to the west coast and I'm on the east coast. When he returns from deployment I'm supposed to move to California with him...different time zone, over a 4 hour flight from home and I see my family daily. I know its going to be an adjustment, but theres no place I would rather be. I know it will be hard, but its only temporary.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Paigem54 View Post
    Hi everyone!
    I've been with my Airman for 5 years now and we have been doing long distance for 3. It's been really hard and we're both really over it and just want to be together. Naturally. But I'm actually really scared to move. I have been here, in Michigan, my entire life. My family is here my friends are here, luckily I don't have a career started or that would be another factor. I'm supposed to move to, most likely, Montana with him in May when I finish my degree. My degree is what has held me back from moving this long, because that's more important. But wow, I'm so terrified to leave! All the bad thoughts keep clouding my mind that I'm putting all my eggs into our basket and what if it doesn't even work out? What if the whole reason this has even worked this long is because we don't see each other everyday? But then I get really excited to be able to just be with him on a daily basis and to fight about normal things instead of things like, why didn't you call me before bed last night?
    I know it's time that we move in because I honestly don't think we would survive another year of long distance. We're both really fed up and it's just been weighing on the both of us. Plus, we've been together for 5 years and it's almost like we're at a stand still of just always missing each other and this same routine.
    Is it normal to be scared to move in with someone you love? Please give me some of your stories! Even if you don't have advice it'd be nice to know I'm not alone in this.
    Will you be able to put your degree to use out in Montana?




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    It's really hard to say. I'm an English major, so I could work in multiple job fields with that degree. But the jobs I really want (publishing) isn't really there. But those jobs also don't really exist in Michigan either. So, I'll have to make due with whatever.
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    #8
    It's totally reasonable for you to be scared, it is a HUGE move! Moving to another state, moving away from everything you know, moving in with your significant other are all really big steps and it's understandable you are nervous.

    I was in a very similar situation as you a year ago. Me and my now husband had been together for years, but eventually he was out in California and I was still back home in North Carolina (first finishing my degree, then working). I LOVE North Carolina- I went to high school and college there, all my friends and family are there, and I'm extremely attached to it. However, eventually we got fed up with long distance, so I moved out to California last May.

    It was a HUGE adjustment. I'm still getting used to it and adapting being completely across the country from everything I know. I still miss my friends and family, my old job, and just being back "home." However, as much as I miss it, I'm so happy I bit the bullet, did the big scary thing, and moved. I have a job that I (for the most part) really love, living with now-husband is awesome and obviously infinitely better than long distance, and I've made a great group of new friends (mostly wives of guys in my husband's program, which is great having people who understand the lifestyle). Even living in a place I pretty much hate (sorry, San Diego), it was still the best decision I could've made and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

    Best of luck to you! I think it'll turn out great
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by annienavywife View Post
    It's totally reasonable for you to be scared, it is a HUGE move! Moving to another state, moving away from everything you know, moving in with your significant other are all really big steps and it's understandable you are nervous.

    I was in a very similar situation as you a year ago. Me and my now husband had been together for years, but eventually he was out in California and I was still back home in North Carolina (first finishing my degree, then working). I LOVE North Carolina- I went to high school and college there, all my friends and family are there, and I'm extremely attached to it. However, eventually we got fed up with long distance, so I moved out to California last May.

    It was a HUGE adjustment. I'm still getting used to it and adapting being completely across the country from everything I know. I still miss my friends and family, my old job, and just being back "home." However, as much as I miss it, I'm so happy I bit the bullet, did the big scary thing, and moved. I have a job that I (for the most part) really love, living with now-husband is awesome and obviously infinitely better than long distance, and I've made a great group of new friends (mostly wives of guys in my husband's program, which is great having people who understand the lifestyle). Even living in a place I pretty much hate (sorry, San Diego), it was still the best decision I could've made and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

    Best of luck to you! I think it'll turn out great
    Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I have been so freaking nervous!! Your word are definitely encouraging and you have helped set some these restless nerves at ease! c:

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