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Thread: IS this normal and has it happened to you?

  1. Old Newbie
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    #1

    IS this normal and has it happened to you?

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    Hello all,

    It been a really long time since I have posted. I hope everyone is doing well. I have a question and I hope that someone out there can help. I have been with my SO for two years. We have just gone through our first deployment together and recently found out, after many set backs, that he was finally going to be able to leave this week for debriefing. We have both been waiting for this moment for so long but here is where my worries lye. I haven't heard from him in over a week and I'm not really sure why. Up until now we have talked almost everyday and nothing out of the ordinary has ever stood out in our conversations. We talk about everything, no secrets, that I'm aware of anyways. I feel like I know that answer but I am not ready to lose hope and let go. So my question is this. Has this happened to anyone else? Have you lost contact with your SO right before they leave base to go to debriefing? And, is this a common thing or could it be? Im honestly lost and heartbroken knowing in the back of my mind the conversations we have had before about neither of us just walking away without a word. We have both had that happen to us multiple times, I don't want to think that all of a sudden he would do this. But maybe I should? Any advise or insight would be great. Thank you.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Nggf View Post
    Hello all,

    It been a really long time since I have posted. I hope everyone is doing well. I have a question and I hope that someone out there can help. I have been with my SO for two years. We have just gone through our first deployment together and recently found out, after many set backs, that he was finally going to be able to leave this week for debriefing. We have both been waiting for this moment for so long but here is where my worries lye. I haven't heard from him in over a week and I'm not really sure why. Up until now we have talked almost everyday and nothing out of the ordinary has ever stood out in our conversations. We talk about everything, no secrets, that I'm aware of anyways. I feel like I know that answer but I am not ready to lose hope and let go. So my question is this. Has this happened to anyone else? Have you lost contact with your SO right before they leave base to go to debriefing? And, is this a common thing or could it be? Im honestly lost and heartbroken knowing in the back of my mind the conversations we have had before about neither of us just walking away without a word. We have both had that happen to us multiple times, I don't want to think that all of a sudden he would do this. But maybe I should? Any advise or insight would be great. Thank you.
    He could have been moved to an area without access to computers or phones?

    Have you met him in person?


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    I haven’t gone through this yet, my SO is still deployed and while it’s not his first deployment it’s my first deployment since we’ve been together. We were told debriefing could take a bit and to be patient at the predeployment weekend so I’m not sure if that means they won’t have much communication? His other deployments were on ships so he’s never been through the process he will be going through this time, the CO made it sound pretty intense.
    Only you know your SO but I’d think after 2 years ghosting wouldn’t happen, so maybe be patient? Unless you have reason to believe he’s ghosting you and it’s been off/on or something.
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    Last edited by Nggf; 12-22-2017 at 04:09 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AMP1984 View Post
    I haven’t gone through this yet, my SO is still deployed and while it’s not his first deployment it’s my first deployment since we’ve been together. We were told debriefing could take a bit and to be patient at the predeployment weekend so I’m not sure if that means they won’t have much communication? His other deployments were on ships so he’s never been through the process he will be going through this time, the CO made it sound pretty intense.
    Only you know your SO but I’d think after 2 years ghosting wouldn’t happen, so maybe be patient? Unless you have reason to believe he’s ghosting you and it’s been off/on or something.
    Thank you for this. I was not aware about the predeployment and didnt stop to think about it even. It makes sense knowing him and knowing he is not that kind of person. This makes me feel a lot better. Thank you again
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayfinkle View Post
    He could have been moved to an area without access to computers or phones?

    Have you met him in person?
    Yes, we have met in person and spent much time together before he deployed.
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    #7
    dh used to go around four weeks without contact, but this was also ten years ago when he was at sea, before smart phones were a huge thing, and before the states had 4g.
    so..... my information is dated.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    dh used to go around four weeks without contact, but this was also ten years ago when he was at sea, before smart phones were a huge thing, and before the states had 4g.
    so..... my information is dated.
    But still much appreciated. Thank you
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    #9
    If you've been with him 2 years I don't understand why you would immediately jump to the conclusion that he's ghosted you after you don't hear from him for a little while. I would say there would be a reason for concern but not that he had decided your relationship was over suddenly...he's probably just in an area with no access to phones/computers. Be patient and ask about it when you hear from him.


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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by April Lynne View Post
    If you've been with him 2 years I don't understand why you would immediately jump to the conclusion that he's ghosted you after you don't hear from him for a little while. I would say there would be a reason for concern but not that he had decided your relationship was over suddenly...he's probably just in an area with no access to phones/computers. Be patient and ask about it when you hear from him.
    You're right. Thank you☺
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