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Thread: Difficult times

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    Ksyp893's Avatar
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    #1

    Difficult times

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    Hello all! So my boyfriend and I started dating in July right before he was set to leave for a year. Iíve known him as a friend for years so itís not like weíre total strangers. He was doing great with being away and being in a relationship until this past month. It was his birthday and thanksgiving in the same week and he kind of cut me out. We havenít been FaceTiming or speaking nearly as much as we had been. When we last spoke he said he loved me and wanted me but didnít want to make me go through all of this because nothing is guaranteed. Iím just looking for somebody who has been in this situation for any advice.

    Thank you all
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    #2
    My advice would be to confirm for him, without hesitation, that you are all in on this relationship and you are coping just fine with everything. Reassure him.

    If, after that, he's determined to end it, there's not really anything you can do, and you also need to remember that often, people don't tell the truth about why the are leaving a relationship, so it could be about just about anything.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    My advice would be to confirm for him, without hesitation, that you are all in on this relationship and you are coping just fine with everything. Reassure him.

    If, after that, he's determined to end it, there's not really anything you can do, and you also need to remember that often, people don't tell the truth about why the are leaving a relationship, so it could be about just about anything.
    what she said.
    There are two possibilities, he either is aaking for reassurance, or he is breaking up with you. Given his recent activity of somewhat ghosting you, I would not be surprised if he's breaking up with you.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Ksyp893 View Post
    Hello all! So my boyfriend and I started dating in July right before he was set to leave for a year. I’ve known him as a friend for years so it’s not like we’re total strangers. He was doing great with being away and being in a relationship until this past month. It was his birthday and thanksgiving in the same week and he kind of cut me out. We haven’t been FaceTiming or speaking nearly as much as we had been. When we last spoke he said he loved me and wanted me but didn’t want to make me go through all of this because nothing is guaranteed. I’m just looking for somebody who has been in this situation for any advice.

    Thank you all
    Birthdays can be hard - how old is your DB? I know mine will turn 40 while deployed in the middle of nowhere with no family around, I already know that will be difficult for him, since his older brother was murdered birthdays are harder for him, especially now that he'll be older than his brother ever was. I would give him support and space, sometimes people just have a bad day or week.

    As far as the no guarantees thing - that's true of love and life. I wouldn't let that stop me from being with someone I love. As others have said, remind him you support him, you aren't looking for a guarantee, you're just following your heart. If someone wants to end things you can't stop them, you have to respect their wishes, but you can always express your wishes and support and see what happens.
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    #5
    I would reassure him and also ask about the decrease in contact. Assuming that goes well, if he is somewhere you can visit, I'd talk about planning a trip.

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