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Thread: Military Fiancee and College Student

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Military Fiancee and College Student

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    My fiancee is in DEPs right now and we'll be getting married in December, right before he leaves for bootcamp. I'm graduating undergrad in May (fingers crossed!) and he'll be finished with A-school sometime over the summer. I want to go to graduate school to get my Masters degree, and am looking to do it online, but I really don't want to. I'm struggling because I want to be with him as soon as possible after school, but I also have had my heart set on pursuing a career in forensic psychology for years now. He said he understands and will support me no matter what I choose. Has anyone gone through something similar? My education is so important to me, but so is he. I'm sure I'll be able to make up my mind once I find out how well we do during bootcamp and A-school. I just feel torn right now.
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    #2
    Do not put your education aside for a guy. What have you wanted longer, a masters degree or this dude? Deal with the distance for a little while. It won't be easy but you'll be glad you did when it's over.
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by mcmonte View Post
    My fiancee is in DEPs right now and we'll be getting married in December, right before he leaves for bootcamp. I'm graduating undergrad in May (fingers crossed!) and he'll be finished with A-school sometime over the summer. I want to go to graduate school to get my Masters degree, and am looking to do it online, but I really don't want to. I'm struggling because I want to be with him as soon as possible after school, but I also have had my heart set on pursuing a career in forensic psychology for years now. He said he understands and will support me no matter what I choose. Has anyone gone through something similar? My education is so important to me, but so is he. I'm sure I'll be able to make up my mind once I find out how well we do during bootcamp and A-school. I just feel torn right now.
    Does his recruiter know of your plans to get married right before he ships? That will change his paperwork and may affect his ship date. Not to mention every recruiter I know (dh was one) will tell the poolee to wait until after boot camp.

    As for school, finish your education first. Are you sure you can do school solely online? Wouldn't you be required to do lab work? IDK. But one thing is for sure, it's much easier to finish school before you get bounced around from base to base in sometimes undesirable locations.
    Last edited by idratherbehiking; 11-09-2017 at 05:05 PM.




  4. Regular Member
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    #4
    My boyfriend and I are long distance and I'm in the middle of getting my bachelors in psychology: I COULD move with him but I'm choosing to stay home and finish my BA and then once I start my MA, I'll either move in with him, if all factors are able to work out, or stay here to finish.

    My point is- definitely don't just say you'll do it online. I've taken online classes before and they are soooo much work and extremely hard. I can't imagine taking multiple masters degree classes. Plus you wouldn't get the full experienc, yaknow?

    Either find a school to get your degree while you're with him or push through the long distance!!
    Don't alter your education dreams for a guy, no matter what
  5. sassypants
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    #5
    Get. Your. Education, on your terms. I made that mistake, and am basically 2 years behind where I wanted to be
    rocket_liz is my wifey
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    #6
    I was long distance with my gusband for four years, while I was in college.
    Get your education.
    I know you feel like you NEED to be with him, but the time will pass and you will be better for it. You have a lifetime to be together, a couple of years for school is nothing.
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    BE aware that many (if not most) employers take online degrees far, far less seriously, especially once we are talking about advanced degrees. It's entirely possible an online graduate degree will be hardly better than not having it at all, especially if you want to work in or with academics.

    Also, know that your financial aid situation will change drastically once you are married. Make sure you know how you will pay for school before you get married.

    Assuming you go ahead with the marriage on this timeline, you need to prioritize your education. Know that you will be apart, and make sure you are both being honest with one another when you say you are okay with that.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #8
    I'm long distance with my boyfriend now to finish pharmacy school. I agree with what everyone else is saying - get your education first! Choose the best school that does the best for you and your future aspirations, then be with your significant other. Long distance isn't easy, but it's definitely do-able. It also really strengthens your relationship, imo. I'd do almost anything to be able to wake up next to my boyfriend every day, but I definitely wouldn't give up my career for it. You'll be happier in the long run too because you're doing something you love.

    There's also a chance you could end up resenting him later on should you choose to follow him instead, so don't risk it!
  9. Fresh Newbie
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    #9
    similar to me now! we were engaged through basic training (totally sucked being newly engaged and not being together) we later found time to get married. he is in his second phase for AIT and I am currently a senior pursuing a B.A(also psych major). and I am set to graduate in May 2018 (he'll be done with AIT in march 2018). I could have moved with him during AIT, but i wanted to finish school where i currently am and you know what, i think it made things easier. i didnt have to deal with having to change schools or hoping that my credits overlap at a new school. i think the time apart has made us stronger individually, which has been great for our marriage. we have learned to establish independence instead of always having to be together. As soon as I graduate I plan to move wherever we will be stationed. As far as pursuing a masters, i plan on it. i don't currently have a specific direction i want to go to for my masters, so i dont have a set program or place i want to attend. i also dont want to do a masters program online, just my preference and i feel like if you dont want online, then dont. i agree with those that say put your education first because in the end, its for YOU. i think that being a military spouse its easy to forget to do things for YOU because we always miss them so much.

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