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Thread: Communication stopped!

  1. Old Newbie
    Marvin_2016's Avatar
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    #1

    Communication stopped!

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    Hi everyone,
    I'm very new to this site however I am currently experiencing a long length of no communication from my LDR with a Special Purpose Msgt Marine. We first met in 2016 during a fact trip I took for my birthday where I was actually having dinner with my friend who had accompanied me on my trip, whilst sitting at the table eating I suddenly found myself saying look up there is your man(feminine instinct) so I looked in the directions of where my eyes then caught this man who in a strange kind of way saw me and felt the same kind of connection between us. You hear about holiday romance all the time but the chemistry between us was so strong that every corner I turned he would be there. Eventually on the last day of our trip as I was making my way down to the restaurant the elevator stopped two floor down and there he was again it was inevitable that there was something strong between us so he then joined myself and my friend at the table to have breakfast.
    Cut long story short, either of us wasn't local so he's from the states but he was based in Europe while I'm from Europe. However, after returning home we started talking and he even flown over to see me in my country 3 months into our relationships things got serious between after going on a few weekend trips together talking life even after he leaves the marine's and then 6 months into relationship he was told he was been deployed to Africa for 12 months. We knew it would be hard but we decided that we would make it work and everything was going well till about 2 months left to go and I started not hearing from him when I asked for clarity after two weeks he called and told me he wasn't able to communicate with me at present. However, this went on for weeks into months before I would hear anything again and then the silence again where he then messages me saying he was sorry about the silence but that it's a must. Another fees weeks passed again and the same thing then he messaged me saying he was keeping his fingers crossed that he would get a weekend off and I should be prepared to fly over to where he was based at the start of our relationship. That never came about and then he send me a message weeks later to say they had him taking care of stuff mission critical and they have now sent him back home as well as he was in the process of finishing off paper works to then be released from active duties( he's been in the marines for 23yrs) so he's almost on retirement soon. I have not heard from him since and all messages have gone unanswered . Now I know this is a long story but I didn't want to miss anything out so I would get as much as closed perspectives from others who may have had this experience.
    I don't know what to think or if I will ever hear from him again.
    This is where I need some answers if possible or what does this mean for us both.
    Thanks in advance and once again sorry for the long script.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    It sounds like he is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. I know that is probably not what you want to hear, but there is no excuse for him not to contact you, especially since he is back in the states.
  3. The name says it all!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by dekeoboe View Post
    It sounds like he is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. I know that is probably not what you want to hear, but there is no excuse for him not to contact you, especially since he is back in the states.
    I'm sorry, hon. If he's Stateside, he would be able to communicate.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  4. Regular Member
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    #4
    Yikes, this is a crummy situation

    Unfortunately, I would agree with the previous posters. While there are plenty of variables during deployment/just in the military in general, it is very suspicious that you have barely heard from him in months. I would be concerned just from hearing from him so infrequently when he was gone, but especially since he's now home working on "papers" and still isn't reaching out. Even if he were to try to communicate again, it seems very clear that he was making 0 effort so far

    Regardless, best of luck! Sorry this happened
  5. Old Newbie
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    #5
    Thank you dekeoboe: I felt more like he lost interest during the time he wasn’t communicating with me but what gets me is that he messages to say he was back in the states as well as he was glad to be communicating with me after so long. Now another aide of me is like he was combat deployed so could he be suffering from post trauma or something of that nature. Also the fact that I am in Europe and I met him on the last part of his 4 years contract in Europe before he was then sent on this deployment because according to him he enlist the month before and throughout most of his deployment he was still communicating with me but just before he started acting strange with communication he told me he had messed his back up badly and had to be on relaxers and Motrin. Wouldn’t he have stopped communication once he had left this part of the world to start his deployed. Couldn’t he have just said so that things aren’t working anymore? This is a hard pill to swallow because I truly believe he cared about me. Everyone or most on here will know that deployments or really hard especially maintaining a long distant one so for me no one will ever know not even him how much he’s hurts me because I not only have myself to healed but now face with this news having to tell my daughter😭
  6. Old Newbie
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    #6
    If only you knew.. My heart have never experienced physical hurt like this.😒
  7. Regular Member
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    #7
    I had friends in Africa who could communicate. Yes, Internet was not as good, but it worked. And they had time. Idk,it sounds like he is just avoiding you. That's it.
  8. Fresh Newbie
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    #8
    Seems like an excuse. I am really sorry. He should have just said it but like all populations, some people are avoidant.
    Maybe he wanted to keep you on the hook until he came home, sounds awful- but I think some men get lonely (on deployment) and reach out to the last person they were with... only to not follow through and not break-up.

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