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Thread: My boyfriend started the process to join the navy.

  1. Old Newbie
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    #1

    My boyfriend started the process to join the navy.

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    We've been together for a little over a month and deeper feelings are developing between us. It'll be another 6 months before basic for him and I'm struggling with the dilemma between letting the relationship blossom or ending it before I get hurt. My feelings seem to be developing much quicker than his but he is a very private person and I am still, slowly, getting to know him. It's difficult to gauge what he is feeling yet. I guess I'm just wondering what your opinions are on this situation.

    P.S. this is my first post so I'm not even sure how to navigate this site.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by mhd_mdh View Post
    We've been together for a little over a month and deeper feelings are developing between us. It'll be another 6 months before basic for him and I'm struggling with the dilemma between letting the relationship blossom or ending it before I get hurt. My feelings seem to be developing much quicker than his but he is a very private person and I am still, slowly, getting to know him. It's difficult to gauge what he is feeling yet. I guess I'm just wondering what your opinions are on this situation.

    P.S. this is my first post so I'm not even sure how to navigate this site.
    I started dating my husband 3 months before he shipped out to boot camp. It was supposed to be a fling (he even said before things got serious that he didn't want a girlfriend). Well... we've been together over 10 years now.

    I say see where it goes.




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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    I started dating my husband 3 months before he shipped out to boot camp. It was supposed to be a fling (he even said before things got serious that he didn't want a girlfriend). Well... we've been together over 10 years now.

    I say see where it goes.
    My boyfriend and I were in a slightly different situation, I met him when he was on leave between duty stations. He had been in Japan for 3 years, and was on his way to Norfolk, VA and we both swore up and down that it was just a fling and well, we fell in love. Now I live with him in VA, we've been together almost 9 months, have a puppy together, and he's about to get deployed for 6 months and we're still happy as ever. It's definitely worth it to take the plunge and see where things go. You never know, he might be the love of your life!
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    #4
    Give it a chance. Better to say "oh well" than "what if"
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    #5
    Definitely give it a chance. So many things - wonderful things - can happen in 6 months. And because he won't leave for 6 months, you'll have a pretty strong foundation formed before he goes. You can do this
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    #6
    as soon as my husband and I got even exclusive, same breath---going to Japan.
    For three years.
    We have been married seven years and.... so many damn kids.

    Nobody would do it if it wasn't worth it
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    #7
    I'd give yourself the next 6 months to see how things play out. That's a decent amount of time for you to each get to know one another on a deeper level, and if you're still together and invested after that time, you can decide together how you want to handle the separation of boot camp.

    I get the temptation to want to nip things in the bud to avoid the chance of getting hurt in the future, but look at it this way: if he had no plans to join the military, and you had no reason to believe you'd be separates by distance 6 months from now, would you be forcing yourself to make a decision about this relationship at this stage? My guess is probably not, so don't shortchange yourself just because of that possibility.
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    #8
    Status update: I think he may be breaking things off because he thinks we want different things, but he hasn't really asked me what I want and won't give me a straight answer when I ask him what he wants (in general and from me). We still plan to talk but I think he's already made up his mind based on him hardly responding to messages and only with one word answers. I hope this isn't the case, I hope we can work these things out...
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by mhd_mdh View Post
    Status update: I think he may be breaking things off because he thinks we want different things, but he hasn't really asked me what I want and won't give me a straight answer when I ask him what he wants (in general and from me). We still plan to talk but I think he's already made up his mind based on him hardly responding to messages and only with one word answers. I hope this isn't the case, I hope we can work these things out...
    If he's acting like this 6 months before he leaves for boot camp, then it may be best to end it. LDRs are a bitch and you've both got to really try in order for it to work.
    I'm sorry




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    #10

    Acronyms

    I'm still fairly new to this site and the acronyms keep throwing me off...LDRs?
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