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Thread: What would you do?

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    What would you do?

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    I'm needing some outside perspective on what to do in terms of my tour in Hawaii. DH and I both, at this time, have DEROS in October 2018. I can try to extend my DEROS (again) to the end of my contract (another year and a half) or keep my original DEROS and leave next year and go to a new station for a year and a half. However, we don't know what's happening with his boat after deployment. They might return to Hawaii for awhile or they might go straight to Washington to wait until they decommission. I'll be here until my scheduled date. DH was told that because we're dual mil and I'm stationed in Hawaii if they allow people to return (if the boat goes to WA) that it's likely he would be one of them, but it's not guaranteed. There is also no time line as to when that could happen -- he could spend weeks or months in WA before coming back. If he comes back here he would also be required to stay on his new boat for a minimum of two years (an extra year of sea duty). The only two bases we qualify for Join Spouse are in Hawaii and Virginia. All the other bases to get us semi-close (4 hours or less drive) are on the East Coast.

    Option 1 is to extend. The outcomes of that are that:
    1) it gets approved and I remain here until the end of my contract and DH is here on his new boat for basically the same time frame.
    2) it gets approved and DH doesn't come back to Hawaii -- we face LD until my contract ends
    3) it gets denied and I go to a new base. DH either does or doesn't come back and we're LD regardless.

    Option 2 is to leave in 2018. The outcomes:
    1) both DH & I somehow manage to be moved to new duty stations in VA and stay together
    2) DH opts to not return to Hawaii early 2018, gets approved, he gets sent wherever, and we hope they find a place for me at the closest base
    3) the military doesn't consider our join spouse and sends us wherever -- LD

    At this point the benefits of extending are higher chances of staying together and the money. The benefits of leaving are getting out of Hawaii after 4 years, closer/cheaper to family, but we are facing LD with high probability. I also have to make this decision in less than a month and we probably won't know about the WA thing by then because they've known for sure about the decom for a year and still don't know what's happening. I was also initially denied my extension last year until we got married because my job is like 160% manned here, so depending on how understanding my leadership and big AF is it's very likely my request to extend will be denied again because DH's orders won't be updated in time if he does to a new boat here.

    Help?
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    Are you both planning on staying in long term or for a career?
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by PaUSMC View Post
    Are you both planning on staying in long term or for a career?
    No. I will not be staying active duty when this contract ends. DH for sure is doing at least one more enlistment
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Carolina View Post
    No. I will not be staying active duty when this contract ends. DH for sure is doing at least one more enlistment
    Got it. In that case I think I would stick with the status quo because it gives you the best chances of staying together longer. With that route it seems like worst case, your DH doesn't come back to Hawaii and you finish up your 1 1/2 years long distance. There are a lot more unknowns with the other option. Including possibly setting up two new households stateside. And its not like you are looking for your next move to enhance your military career. You could use the next year of stability to finish school (I think you were attending online?) and prep for the career change. That all assumes that you enjoy Hawaii and your current command, and are not just wanting to be out of there.
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    #5
    If they deny you, you are in the same boat as Option 2 as you would have been if you didn't apply, right?

    Do you like or dislike Hawaii? Unless you really hate it there, I think I'd go for option 1.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by PaUSMC View Post
    Got it. In that case I think I would stick with the status quo because it gives you the best chances of staying together longer. With that route it seems like worst case, your DH doesn't come back to Hawaii and you finish up your 1 1/2 years long distance. There are a lot more unknowns with the other option. Including possibly setting up two new households stateside. And its not like you are looking for your next move to enhance your military career. You could use the next year of stability to finish school (I think you were attending online?) and prep for the career change. That all assumes that you enjoy Hawaii and your current command, and are not just wanting to be out of there.
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    If they deny you, you are in the same boat as Option 2 as you would have been if you didn't apply, right?

    Do you like or dislike Hawaii? Unless you really hate it there, I think I'd go for option 1.
    I definitely cannot wait to leave Hawaii but it's only an additional year and some change. I was thinking that trying to stay was going to be the best bet but I wanted to make sure my feelings were logical.

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