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Thread: Homework and deployment

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Homework and deployment

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    So, we have this tradition that when DH leaves for a deployment we have a family day the day before and just take the time to be a family and we have breakfast or whatever meal it is when we drop him off (we live an hour away and I need both vehicles due to load capacity and mpg so him driving is not an option). So there is basically a no homework/chores policy for that one day.

    This year his elementary school is being hard. He gets home at 4 and goes to bed at 8:30. They basically said if he doesn't do his homework (which can take up to 2 hours) he will be punished. And if he arrives late it will be an unexcused tardy and 2 of those result in a type of detention.

    What would you guys do in this sutuation?
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    #2
    I would call him in sick the day the homework is due and have him do it that day and then take him to lunch!

    I also will never win mother of the year
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    this is probably why I don't (and shouldn't have kids) but I'd make him do his homework. Life sucks. If you've got stuff to do, you've got stuff to do, idk. I can't just not do my work because DH leaves. The world doesn't stop unfortunately.


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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    this is probably why I don't (and shouldn't have kids) but I'd make him do his homework. Life sucks. If you've got stuff to do, you've got stuff to do, idk. I can't just not do my work because DH leaves. The world doesn't stop unfortunately.
    this, or ask the teacher for his homework a day early.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    I would call him in sick the day the homework is due and have him do it that day and then take him to lunch!

    I also will never win mother of the year
    I would do this too. He WILL have to do the work eventually, but there are things in life more important than a detention.

    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    this is probably why I don't (and shouldn't have kids) but I'd make him do his homework. Life sucks. If you've got stuff to do, you've got stuff to do, idk. I can't just not do my work because DH leaves. The world doesn't stop unfortunately.
    The kid is...what, seven?

    He's not being taught that his homework doesn't matter. He still has to do it the next day to catch up. He's being taught that sometimes there are things that matter more.
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    #6
    Family > homework, in my opinion. Besides what kind of person doesn't accept "my dad is deploying today/tomorrow" as a valid excuse for not finishing homework?? That's just awful
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    I would do this too. He WILL have to do the work eventually, but there are things in life more important than a detention.



    The kid is...what, seven?

    He's not being taught that his homework doesn't matter. He still has to do it the next day to catch up. He's being taught that sometimes there are things that matter more.
    so? Leave it up to him then. Lay his choices on the line, let him know his teacher said he'll be punished. Does he want to suffer the consequences? That's a real lesson, yes sometimes things matter more to you but you have to be willing to take the consequence that comes from your choice


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    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    so? Leave it up to him then. Lay his choices on the line, let him know his teacher said he'll be punished. Does he want to suffer the consequences? That's a real lesson, yes sometimes things matter more to you but you have to be willing to take the consequence that comes from your choice
    The age is relevant mostly because the consequences of skipping a day are very different in scope for a seven year old than for a seventeen year old. I'm inclined to more lenience on responsibilities for a young child than for an older one, and certainly more lenience for a child than I would give myself as a working adult - you say you'd still have to go to work when your husband leaves, and that's true, but you are an adult. A primary school kid doesn't have all the same tools that you or I do yet, and can't always be expected to do the adult thing.

    I do agree with you that laying out the options and letting him choose would probably be good.

    But if he won't or can't choose on his own, and his mother has to do it for him, then "being able to say goodbye to his father in a way that lets him process the separation without too much pain" probably trumps "the threat of detention".
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    He is 8, and now his teacher is saying that he can do his hw at lunch on deployment day, way to make a crappy day crappier.

    Schooling is important, that is why i make him do his hw but family is family. It would also be different is he was in high school or even jr. High
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    #10
    I think it's really sad to not make exceptions for things like this. But then again I was home schooled and if I had kids they'd be home schooled because I wouldn't tolerate this kind silliness
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