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Thread: Clueless Army Wife needs help with Alcoholic Husband

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    #1

    Clueless Army Wife needs help with Alcoholic Husband

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    Hi all,

    DH and I have been married 4 yrs, but we have never lived on a base. I recently discovered that he has a big alcohol problem. He's consuming 10+ servings of alcohol per day. Last Sunday afternoon, I'm estimating he binged on 13 servings of alcohol within about 1.5 hrs and was still walking/talking no problem ! I believe he is gonna need detox and rehab....if he is willing to go.

    He is an active duty officer in the Army and has been in about 15 yrs. He's been to Iraq a few times in the past and does get panic attackes. I suspect he's suffering from depression and anxiety and is numbing the pain with alcohol. I also suspect he had a very emotionally abusive childhood, but he has a hard time acknowledging that quality in his family of origin.

    What resources are available to soliders with alcoholism? If the Army finds out he has this problem, what effect does it have on his career? What resources are available to family members of addicted soliders? Or what marital counseling resources are available?.

    Thanks !
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    #2
    1. he has to admit he has a problem and want to change.
    2. AA is a great resource. Like they say "it works if you work it," if he commits, it works.
    3. whether or not he gets help, there is a group called alanon for family of alcoholics, which you can attend and would be great help to you.

    I do agree that he needs help, but you just cannot MAKE him take it. Alcoholism is the disease that tells you that you are fine. You can always go to counseling for help being in that situation, and maybe marriage counseling would help you talk about it in a safe space, as he will likely be defensive.
    It does sound like he is self medicating. It would be better for him to get himself squared away before something comes up at work and the army does it for him.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    1. he has to admit he has a problem and want to change.
    2. AA is a great resource. Like they say "it works if you work it," if he commits, it works.
    3. whether or not he gets help, there is a group called alanon for family of alcoholics, which you can attend and would be great help to you.

    I do agree that he needs help, but you just cannot MAKE him take it. Alcoholism is the disease that tells you that you are fine. You can always go to counseling for help being in that situation, and maybe marriage counseling would help you talk about it in a safe space, as he will likely be defensive.
    It does sound like he is self medicating. It would be better for him to get himself squared away before something comes up at work and the army does it for him.
    All of this except about AA being a good resource.
    Expect him to deny that he has a problem, then he will attack YOU as having the problem.
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