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Thread: Need help!

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    LittleLady's Avatar
    LittleLady is offline
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    #1

    Need help!

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    I have been in this relationship for a while and now he is starting to shut down with his emotions. I knew what I was getting into when we got together. So it's not like this is a total 360, but he won't show me emotions. I tried to talk to him over the weekend and asked if he still loved me and he said he doesn't know.. I don't know what to do or where to go to find help and good advice on it. He knows he's messed up and when I asked him if he wants to keep trying he just told me that I'm an adult and I can do what I want. I don't want to give up on us. We have a family together and that's kind of the only reason he is still allowing me to be around. He says that he cares about me, but can't figure fire out if he still loves me. I'm in so much pain because I want this to work more than anything! Not because of our family or anything like that. Just I want it to work simple for us and him. He has told me that I can't ever relate to him. Which I understand there is no way I can ever relate to him on things because I know he has experienced a whole different world than I have. My mom and his mom suggested consusling, but I don't know if he will go for it.. I'm just running out of patience and I have no one and nothing that can help me. So please if anyone has any sort of advice or prior experience.
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    Medic2Doula's Avatar
    Medic2Doula is offline
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    #2
    how long is a while?
    does having a family mean you have kids are involved?
    If he says he doesn't know if he loves you, why would you want to stay in that relationship? A marraige isn't 50/50, it is 100/100, it doesn't sound like he's putting in his share.
    You can't save a relationship by yourself.
  3. Senior Member
    idratherbehiking's Avatar
    idratherbehiking is offline
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleLady View Post
    I have been in this relationship for a while and now he is starting to shut down with his emotions. I knew what I was getting into when we got together. So it's not like this is a total 360, but he won't show me emotions. I tried to talk to him over the weekend and asked if he still loved me and he said he doesn't know.. I don't know what to do or where to go to find help and good advice on it. He knows he's messed up and when I asked him if he wants to keep trying he just told me that I'm an adult and I can do what I want. I don't want to give up on us. We have a family together and that's kind of the only reason he is still allowing me to be around. He says that he cares about me, but can't figure fire out if he still loves me. I'm in so much pain because I want this to work more than anything! Not because of our family or anything like that. Just I want it to work simple for us and him. He has told me that I can't ever relate to him. Which I understand there is no way I can ever relate to him on things because I know he has experienced a whole different world than I have. My mom and his mom suggested consusling, but I don't know if he will go for it.. I'm just running out of patience and I have no one and nothing that can help me. So please if anyone has any sort of advice or prior experience.
    I think we're going to need a bit more information.

    What do you mean you knew what you were getting into? Is he active duty? Why do you want to stay with someone who's not sure if he loves you? If he he won't seek counseling, what other help are you looking to get?




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