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Thread: Needing him

  1. G05
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    #1

    Needing him

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    So everyone tells me to just stay busy while my boyfriend is at basic and trust me I have been. I've tried new things and hobbies which is fine for awhile. However, I am still very sad and sometimes it seems impossible not to be. At times I feel like I just need my boyfriend physically here with me. How do you get over this?
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by G05 View Post
    So everyone tells me to just stay busy while my boyfriend is at basic and trust me I have been. I've tried new things and hobbies which is fine for awhile. However, I am still very sad and sometimes it seems impossible not to be. At times I feel like I just need my boyfriend physically here with me. How do you get over this?
    OMG I FEEL THIS!!!! But I have tried rereading his letters and being positive and it's been helping me get by these months. Also support is so important, hanging out with friends and family has helped me so much!
  3. we were all rooting for you
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by G05 View Post
    So everyone tells me to just stay busy while my boyfriend is at basic and trust me I have been. I've tried new things and hobbies which is fine for awhile. However, I am still very sad and sometimes it seems impossible not to be. At times I feel like I just need my boyfriend physically here with me. How do you get over this?
    It gets easier with time. It sounds like you're doing everything right - trying new things, hobbies, spending time with friends and family, working/school, working out, etc. It just takes time and once it starts passing, you'll get into a routine. I haven't dated anyone through basic but I know lots of people here have and they'll all tell you the same thing. This is probably the first time you've been separated like this but it will pass!
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    I agree with kittensmittens. It gets better with time. I was a mess the first week my DH was in basic. Couldn't eat, had trouble sleeping , cried at the drop of a hat. Totally normal I think xD Overtime it did get better. Remind yourself that it's only temporary! i wrote him everyday and that helped, even if he couldn't write me back sometimes. I would just tell him about my day and tell him how proud I am of him. It made me feel closer to him because I knew he was reading them. Be encouraging because even though you are having a hard time, they might be having an even worse time I think what really helped me was doing some research on what he's doing in basic training. Look up basic training phases and stuff like that. I made a calendar and would cross off each week and I would know he's doing marksmanship or going on his Field training trip and stuff like that. His battery might even have a fb page? Twitter? Learn some of the acronyms and watch videos on YouTube. The end of my days were reading about the army mostly lol read about his MOS and write him new stuff you learn . I definitely stayed busy with school and stuff, but of course I still had my days where I was sad because I missed him. The next day I was back to business. Before I knew it, I was booking a plane ticket and my hotel room to OKC!! He's now in AIT and I have to tell you, it gets much better . Trust me, it ends! Hang in there ) <3
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    #5
    HEY GIRL!!!

    I am right there with you! UGH! This sucks! Have you tried a journal at all? Sometimes it helps to have a place to vent. Even better is a deployment buddy, or in this case a boot camp buddy! Someone to talk to helps so much! Everyone says to distract yourself but sometimes you just need to gush and let it out. We're here for you!
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    #6
    Hey there!
    I can relate to how you're feeling because although we have different situations, this is similar to how I felt during my boyfriend's year- long, deployment.
    When my boyfriend first left I had no idea how I'd make it a whole year with out him. I was a mess! I couldn't sit still, I didn't want to be alone yet at the same time I also didn't want to be around anyone and I spent a lot of time crying and watching sad movies.
    What I know now, is there is no right or wrong way to cope with all the changes, hurt and emotions going on. So my best advice to you, is to be patient with yourself because it takes time to adjust. Sometimes it's best to just ride out the emotional rollercoaster and let it take you through all the ups and downs because then at least, you're staying in tune with yourself.
    It's easy to feel lost and no doubt It's completely overwhelming but with time, the heaviness of all the emotions will start to subside.
    Some things that might help make things easier may include:
    Talking about your feelings to others can be very helpful and clarifying.
    Keeping a journal is a good way to let it all out. Personally, I found this extremely helpful and it was also fascinating to go back and read previous entries because slowly through out the months, my writing became happier and I could see the progress I was making.
    Try and find a routine or some kind of regularity in your schedule. Consistency is good.
    Add things into your weekly schedule or even daily schedule if possible, that are self fulfilling. For me it was spending a few days a week at my grandmas house, helping her with whatever she needed. It made us grow closer, I was able to help her and at the same time, I was being helped in return.
    I started guitar lessons while my boyfriend was gone, I started painting and learning to use oil pastels. I got into cooking and was able to take more college courses, as well as pick up extra shifts at work.
    Any kind of hobby that really sparks your interest, is a fantastic way to pass time, while enjoying it too.
    Eventually, I adapted the mind set that him and I being away from one another for so long, was a bitter sweet situation.
    The bitter is known for obvious reasons, however what made it simultaneously sweet, was the fact I had so much time to focus purely on myself. I was able to learn, grow and love myself in ways I had never had the opportunity to before.
    I discovered so much about myself, including my own strength-that got me through every up and down that my boyfriend and I dealt with.

    I wish you the best of luck on this journey and just remember, it won't last forever!

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