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Thread: Freaking out (silently)

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Freaking out (silently)

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    So my boyfriend has been gone for almost 2 months... we have had separation before but he has not been deployed before and it is definitely different. He does text me everyday, but he has also limited the subjects. I tell him I love him, I send lovey stuff, I tell him I miss him... I get a little of it back, but he has never been a great text communicator. I sent him something I thought would make him happy and he snapped at me- that he was tired all the time and it was distracting. We both Xfit, he said he likes talking about that but just is really tired/can't engage in most other subjects.

    I asked him if this is what happens, if this is normal for him-- then I won't take it personally. He didn't respond.
    I have asked twice about phone calls, no response.

    Before he left, he had me spend a week with his family and meet all his old friends. I know that is something he hasn't done with anyone for 8 years or so.
    He also gave me a sweatshirt (a favorite, I know it is a bit high schoolish) and said that I should know he really loves me or wouldn't part with it. It's an Army Sweatshirt he has had for ages. In many ways I feel very secure with our relationship but I do not completely understand the shut-down.

    I miss him terribly, some days are better than others.
    Today is not really a good day. I don't know what to do other than to tell him I miss him and I love him.
    I do not want to add to his stress in anyway, but I do need a hug.
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    #2
    I think this is somewhat normal... at least when dh and I were dating he was similar. He snapped at me once because I sent him cake in a jar (you aren't allowed to have glass on ships) and he had requested bedsheets and I had sent him disney princess ones (I thought it was funny....).
    He was kind of detached at points, and I think it was his way of coping, which is hard when we DON'T cope that way.

    I'm sorry, in any case, that it's been rough.
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    #3
    Well, he wrote me tonight & broke-up
    It's been a long road together (2+ years) & I've experienced this exact thing with him before- he gets in his head, starts freaking out & not talking, then he tries to break-up

    I understand it in many ways but I told myself if he did it again, I was going to let him go

    It's not easy
    This has been really hard because he's so far away

    I can't help if he won't pick-up the phone
    So I guess we are done
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyMC77 View Post
    Well, he wrote me tonight & broke-up
    It's been a long road together (2+ years) & I've experienced this exact thing with him before- he gets in his head, starts freaking out & not talking, then he tries to break-up

    I understand it in many ways but I told myself if he did it again, I was going to let him go

    It's not easy
    This has been really hard because he's so far away

    I can't help if he won't pick-up the phone
    So I guess we are done
    I came in here to say his behavior sounds kind of normal, but then I saw this update.
    I'm sorry, girl.

    If this is something he does often, then maybe it's a good idea to let him go for good this time. It's not fair to you that's he's always unsure if he wants to be with you.




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    #5

    update

    We had some texting today. I just told him to take care of himself, do whatever he needs to do to focus.
    There is fighting where he is... some injuries over the weekend.

    I love him, but he needs to want this too.
    Because it is not easy, life has rough spots and AWESOME relationships require work sometimes.
    That is normal. I know that... I am not sure he does.

    It's OK. Thanks for your support!!!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyMC77 View Post
    We had some texting today. I just told him to take care of himself, do whatever he needs to do to focus.
    There is fighting where he is... some injuries over the weekend.

    I love him, but he needs to want this too.
    Because it is not easy, life has rough spots and AWESOME relationships require work sometimes.
    That is normal. I know that... I am not sure he does.

    It's OK. Thanks for your support!!!
    Best of luck to you girl!

    Focus on yourself for a while. if it is meant to be it will be
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    #7
    Thanks, I will try
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    #8

    Help missing fiance

    Good day.I am writing to stop me from worry of the non communication from my fiance. He was on a bus to the city to get his flight to come home. And that said bus was attacked on july 6th. i did write to The UNited nations and let them know that he never made it home.

    That is how i found out that the bus was attacked. they did not know much. Or could not tell me if he
    was okay. As of today i still have not have any communications with my fiance or the UNITED Nations. i am starting to think there is something wrong. I do not know how to get the info to keep me from flipping out.
    I do know that soldiers that are special forces cant give out info. As of know i am not worried for me . He has a
    daughter that is 12yrs old . He does not have any other family. Who can i contact to get information on him to atleast keep me from going nuts.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by SWEETMANSWIFE View Post
    Good day.I am writing to stop me from worry of the non communication from my fiance. He was on a bus to the city to get his flight to come home. And that said bus was attacked on july 6th. i did write to The UNited nations and let them know that he never made it home.

    That is how i found out that the bus was attacked. they did not know much. Or could not tell me if he
    was okay. As of today i still have not have any communications with my fiance or the UNITED Nations. i am starting to think there is something wrong. I do not know how to get the info to keep me from flipping out.
    I do know that soldiers that are special forces cant give out info. As of know i am not worried for me . He has a
    daughter that is 12yrs old . He does not have any other family. Who can i contact to get information on him to atleast keep me from going nuts.
    I'm very sorry you're dealing with this. I don't have any experience with situations like this but if you make your own post other people will be more likely to see it and they might have advice. I hope you get everything figured out
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by SWEETMANSWIFE View Post
    Good day.I am writing to stop me from worry of the non communication from my fiance. He was on a bus to the city to get his flight to come home. And that said bus was attacked on july 6th. i did write to The UNited nations and let them know that he never made it home.

    That is how i found out that the bus was attacked. they did not know much. Or could not tell me if he
    was okay. As of today i still have not have any communications with my fiance or the UNITED Nations. i am starting to think there is something wrong. I do not know how to get the info to keep me from flipping out.
    I do know that soldiers that are special forces cant give out info. As of know i am not worried for me . He has a
    daughter that is 12yrs old . He does not have any other family. Who can i contact to get information on him to atleast keep me from going nuts.
    If something happened then they notify his next of kin. Can you contact any of his family either by calling or through Facebook?




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