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Thread: Deperate need of Advice and Tips

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    #1

    Deperate need of Advice and Tips

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    Hello, I made an account just to post this, please forgive if this is not in the right spot. My boyfriend just received soft orders to Japan and we are discussing getting married so I can come with. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant with his child. However we were reviewing the overseas screening requirements and there is absolutely no way that I would pass. I have several hospitalizations for suicidal idealization from when I was younger (within the past 10 years) and I have been diagnosed with bipolar and depression. I am currently stable and have been for the past year without medications or treatment. We really dont want his orders to get pulled since going to Japan is the whole reason he joined the Navy in the first place. We were looking at getting me a visa so I could go over there, he will be a 2nd class petty officer and be able to live off ship so I can live with him, and he can financially support me. I do not have a degree so getting a working visa is a little difficult and we really could just use some guidance and help. Leaving me behind really isn't an option because I would be potentially homeless and he wants to be with me and the baby.
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    Getting a visa is going to be very difficult. I'd say "impossible", but that might be *slightly* over stating it, but only slightly. Assuming you don't speak Japanese, most companies wouldn't want you. Some do hiring English teachers, but any of those I've ever heard of required a degree.

    Also, there is a very good chance they would not pull his orders if he married and you didn't pass the screen. They may well keep his orders and send him unaccompanied, especially because he wasn't married at the time he got orders. This is even more true if he is supposed to leave any time soon. But they may still pull them, especially if they have time to do so.

    I don't see why you'd be homeless. If you are married, he would likely live in the barracks and get BAH for your location. And whether you think it's an option or not, frankly you may not have a choice.

    I'm sorry these are crappy answers. In your shoes, if you are 100% committed to getting married, I'd do it ASAP (like, tomorrow) and then have him contact the appropriate people to try to get the orders changed. Without that, I'd say the most likely outcome of this is that he goes to Japan and you don't, or the orders get pulled anyway if/when you fail the screen.

    And as much as it sucks not to be able to go, there is a very, very good reason for the overseas screen and for your history to possibly medically disqualify you. Living overseas can be damn challenging. Some bases in Japan for more than others. Yes, you've been stable for a year, but that's not very long, and it's not in the really challenging conditions you will likely face living in Japan (not to mention living there with a new baby, with no family support, with your DH probably deployed, with culture shock, with language barriers, with being in a very different time zone than friends and family). And if you do need help? Access to medical care can be pretty limited. What then? You have a crisis and can't be seen on based for 2 weeks, and can't go to a therapist in town because they aren't going to speak English. That's a bad situation, and there's a reason the Navy runs the odds and makes decisions based on that.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    I agree with what Vill wrote. You said getting a work visa would be difficult, so if you cannot get a work visa, what type of visa do you think you can get? Have you looked into the requirements for that type of visa?
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    #4
    Can you pm me?
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    #5
    If you can't pass the screening you'll still be fine. Since you two would be married he would be given money to pay your rent. My cousin's husband is currently overseas and she was unable to go, he received enough BAH to pay her rent while he is living in the barracks.

    If you two don't get married you should try to find ways to support yourself. If you're unable to work you need to look into getting on disability/unemployment.

    Like vilanelle said, the screening is for good reason. If you can't pass it is probably in your best interest to stay behind while he's in Japan.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    Can you pm me?
    She doesn't have enough posts
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
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    Oh okay. I'm going to add that to the list of internet stuff I don't ubderstand
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    #8
    villanelle hit it right on the head.

    The only work around I can see to get a visa is if you attend a Japanese language school. Some (I can only think of one, personally, so some might be generous) of them do not require a degree to enter. But they can be very expensive, and you do have to attend classes. Which might not be possible. I knew a guy who came over with a HS diploma and attempted this. Paid like 18k to live in Japan for a year, with a goal to become fluent enough to be hired by a Japanese company - he left without a job offer. Going this route, you'd also have to apply for a COE and provide proof you have enough liquid assets to gtfo of the country if necessary. You also couldn't hold a SOFA Visa and another Japanese Visa at the same time, but I may be wrong on that.

    I don't know what it is about Japan, but I've known people who've come here and it's made their depression /mood-disorders worse (I can count on 1 hand friends who committed suicide here). In this situation, I would just recommend you stay in America and continue working on you.

    (Especially in Misawa, where it's middle of no where and it's forever winter).
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrin View Post
    villanelle hit it right on the head.

    The only work around I can see to get a visa is if you attend a Japanese language school. Some (I can only think of one, personally, so some might be generous) of them do not require a degree to enter. But they can be very expensive, and you do have to attend classes. Which might not be possible. I knew a guy who came over with a HS diploma and attempted this. Paid like 18k to live in Japan for a year, with a goal to become fluent enough to be hired by a Japanese company - he left without a job offer. Going this route, you'd also have to apply for a COE and provide proof you have enough liquid assets to gtfo of the country if necessary. You also couldn't hold a SOFA Visa and another Japanese Visa at the same time, but I may be wrong on that.

    I don't know what it is about Japan, but I've known people who've come here and it's made their depression /mood-disorders worse (I can count on 1 hand friends who committed suicide here). In this situation, I would just recommend you stay in America and continue working on you.

    (Especially in Misawa, where it's middle of no where and it's forever winter).
    Also, I just realized that being pregnant, it's even more unlikely that anyone is going to hire her in a Visa-issuing job. And if she does something like school, she'd have to find a school within commuting distance of the Navy base. I don't know Japanese law on the legality of not hiring (or of firing ) someone because they are pregnant, but even if it isn't legal, just as in the US that doesn't mean companies don't regularly do it. And since a work Visa requires one to actually be working, that would also seem to mean that she would have to return to work very soon after the birth (as a guess, but of course, OP, you'd want to confirm with an expert if things somehow actually got this far.)

    Also, in case you are considering going illegally, keep in mind that your unaccompanied SO would likely have to live on base, and he could get in serious trouble with his command for having a wife our girlfriend there illegally. Just as in the US, illegal immigration is frowned up, and when it is something that potentially involves a sailor and is therefore a reflection of the Navy in general, the Powers That Be really frown up on it.

    And yes, most of the time, having a SOFA visa automatically disqualifies one for a lot of things regular people can get. However, it seems like that won't be an issue, because if she gets SOFA status that means she passed the screen and can be there with command sponsorship.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

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