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Thread: Military Girlfriend Moving Overseas

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Military Girlfriend Moving Overseas

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    Hello! My name is Kaleigh and I just joined this support group in the hopes that I could get some great advice from you ladies. I am guessing this post may have been posted/asked before but I have reached a road block. My boyfriend is a TAC-P in the Air Force and recently got news that he will be stationed to Germany for 2 years. I just graduated with my bachelors degree and unfortunately did not get into graduate school this year and have to take a gap year until I can start school again. Considering I have a gap year, he has asked me to come with him to a Germany. However, I have looked into what feels like everything in terms of visas, residence permits and passports, and feel like I have hit a road block. He will be living on base and I'm having a lot of trouble finding a solution of me being able to go with him for a year. I was wondering if any of you ladies had any advice, another solution I may not be thinking of, or can tell me if this is even possible. Thank you so much.
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    #2
    Most countries have a 60-90 day visiting "allowance" and often times when you stop at customs they ask to see your return date. By the time you did everything you needed to in order to stay longer than the possible 90 days the year would basically be over with. Plus, where would you live? How would you afford it? Your DB will have to live in dorms and won't receive the housing allowance. You won't have base access and probably no vehicle for such a short stay. Are you an independent person who can live in a foreign country where you know almost no one and there could be a language barrier?
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    #3
    Yeah what she said ^ you'd have no income, you don't speak the language (I assume) so you'd have a really hard time finding a job (like, near impossible). You couldn't live with your DB, he wouldn't be allowed to live on base. Plus immigration wouldn't allow you in if you told them you're entering the country to live with your US military boyfriend. You'd have to leave after 90 days without a visa. But even 90 days, where would you stay?

    Countries have immigration laws for a reason.
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    You would need to find a way, totally independent of him, to get a Visa. That would mean either school or employment in a job that offers a visa (generally hard but not impossible to come by, depending on your qualifications, but you'd most likely need to speak pretty good german unless you have a specialized and fairly rare skill set.). But you still wouldn't be able to live with your boyfriend, and maybe not even especially close to him because your location would be dependent upon your school or job.

    If you are still determined to try to make this work, look in to either schools or employment, but know that you will have to pay rent and other living expenses.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #5
    I think the best thing to do would be planning on visiting him. You can stay up to 90 days with a tourist visa, which is a really long time! You may not have the resources to stay the whole time, as you won't be able to live with him so it may be expensive to find lodging for that long, but a visit would be wonderful.

    Getting a long term visa to another country is quite difficult. When I got a work visa to live in another country, the whole process took about 6 months (and like villanelle said, I didn't get to choose the city, my work placed me where they needed me). Since you are planning on attending grad school soon, it sounds like it wouldn't work with your plans even if you were able to find employment.
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    Thank you ladies! Those are all things I have considered as well. I have been trying to look into USAjobs.gov, have any of you had any experience with That? What I'm thinking right now is that going for the 3 months would be best, however, would any of you know or know someone who knows of places to stay for that long? Would I stay in a hostile? A hotel? That's what I'm totally unsure of. Also, what's difficult right now is trying to tell my boyfriend that if he wants this move to happen, we would have to get married. Which I know we both don't want to do quite yet. I'm just unsure of how he will take it.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Kefrank55 View Post
    Thank you ladies! Those are all things I have considered as well. I have been trying to look into USAjobs.gov, have any of you had any experience with That? What I'm thinking right now is that going for the 3 months would be best, however, would any of you know or know someone who knows of places to stay for that long? Would I stay in a hostile? A hotel? That's what I'm totally unsure of. Also, what's difficult right now is trying to tell my boyfriend that if he wants this move to happen, we would have to get married. Which I know we both don't want to do quite yet. I'm just unsure of how he will take it.
    I've been on this website for like 5 years and only remember one instance of someone getting a job through usajobs as a girlfriend and being able to move. So, I wouldn't count on it, especially since this a key time in life to start your career or focus on prepping for grad school (what you going for??)

    And yes, you would have to stay in a hostel or hotel. Or something like Air BnB. It can get very expensive.

    If you're for sure going to grad school in a year, my advice would be to not try to force this to happen. School & career is super important. Just plan a few visits, get through the year, and start grad school.
    WiggleWiggle~ is my Wifey
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Kefrank55 View Post
    Thank you ladies! Those are all things I have considered as well. I have been trying to look into USAjobs.gov, have any of you had any experience with That? What I'm thinking right now is that going for the 3 months would be best, however, would any of you know or know someone who knows of places to stay for that long? Would I stay in a hostile? A hotel? That's what I'm totally unsure of. Also, what's difficult right now is trying to tell my boyfriend that if he wants this move to happen, we would have to get married. Which I know we both don't want to do quite yet. I'm just unsure of how he will take it.
    If you know you both don't want to get married yet then don't even put that out there as an option. He should know that marriage is the only way to have you with him. If he doesn't then just tell him what you told us: "we would have to get married and I know we aren't quite there yet." Keep that part light. Don't get married just to be able to spend a year together if you're saying you know you aren't ready.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Kefrank55 View Post
    Thank you ladies! Those are all things I have considered as well. I have been trying to look into USAjobs.gov, have any of you had any experience with That? What I'm thinking right now is that going for the 3 months would be best, however, would any of you know or know someone who knows of places to stay for that long? Would I stay in a hostile? A hotel? That's what I'm totally unsure of. Also, what's difficult right now is trying to tell my boyfriend that if he wants this move to happen, we would have to get married. Which I know we both don't want to do quite yet. I'm just unsure of how he will take it.
    I guess it depends on how much money you have. A hostel, hotel, or AirBnB would all be potential options. (If you do AirBnB you can message them and ask for discounts for being a long-term renter, which some might be willing to do.) None of those are going to be cheap for 3 months though.

    As for USAjobs, i've known several people who have gotten jobs, but most of them have been military spouses and have utilized the military spouse preference. But last time we were stationed in Japan, I know of two girlfriends who did actually get jobs in order to move to Japan to be with their boyfriends. (The service members weren't required to live on base, so they were able to live together, which is sounds like is not the case for your situation.) So it does happen. You'll want to pay careful attention, if you are lucky enough to get a job, to the minimum time required. Often for jobs overseas, they pay for your move, and then you have a minimum service time required or you owe them back that money, which can be tens of thousands of dollars. Also, IME, most jobs on USAjobs take months and months to fill, though there may be exceptions.

    Also, I wouldn't tell him that if he wants the move to happen then you need to get married. Don't say that if you aren't ready to get married. Just say that you've looked in to it, and due to visa issues, there's no legal way for you to stay in the country more than 90 days. Leave it at that.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #10
    I am going into occupational therapy and have to wait a full year before I would even start the program. Also, OT school is something I would have to be accepted into so there is no guarantee that I am going to get in. I'm assuming with USAjobs that it would really depend on the job of how long my contract would be. If things go as planned with graduate school, I would have to come back to the states in April for interviews with the programs. I'm guessing it would be difficult to find a job on USAjobs that will do a contract from April-August huh? Not going to lie, I am a little overwhelmed.
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