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Thread: Communication and withdrawal

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    #1

    Communication and withdrawal

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    I'm new to this forum and to dating a military veteran. He has retired now but was enlisted all of his life. I'm trying to adjust but I'm not sure if it is a personal thing or if he withdraws himself because of being in the military. Sometimes he won't talk or respond to my calls. He will read every text but won't answer them. I'm not sure if it is just being a jerk or if he suffers ptsd .
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    #2
    No way of knowing. Do you talk to anyone in his family? maybe they can give you an idea.
    How long have you been dating him?

    And there is a third option. He just may be the type who does not communicate well.
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    #3
    I mean, I would just assume he's a flake before I would assume he has PTSD. That's not to say he doesn't, he very well may have it. Either way I think it's up to you to decide if that sort of communication is something you're willing to deal with for the sake of the relationship.
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    #4
    At some point, it doesn't matter why he does what he does. It only matters that he does it. That's especially true if he's not actively getting help. If he hasn't been diagnosed with PTSD, what makes you think he has it? Is it just the fact that he withdraws sometimes and ignores you? It seems far more likely that's just because he's not a great boyfriend or he's just not that in to you, unfortunately. (I'm assuming you've calmly made it clear this is an issue for you and it hasn't changed.) And even if it is PTSD-related, the only real questions are --is he willing to get diagnosed and then commit to treatment? And if not, are you willing to live with this behavior for the rest of your life? If the answer to either of those is "no", I don't really see what future you can have with him.
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    #5
    If he hasn't been diagnosed with PTSD, what makes you think these things are PTSD related? It could just be him. Not everyone who's a military veteran suffers from PTSD.
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    #6
    It took me awhile to figure out how to get back to this thread. It was just an assumption that he might have PTSD... ultimately it's probably just his personality. I do need to decide if it's something I want to deal with..I agree with everyone about that. I think I look at the positive things and this one negative seems to be big in my eyes that the positive things about him is not substantial.

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