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Thread: Feeling left behind

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Kiwi12's Avatar
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    Apr 2017

    Feeling left behind

    My boyfriend and I just graduated from college and now he's moving across the country to start his army career. He says he doesn't want us to stay long distance forever, but he also isn't ready to get married to me. I'm worried that I'll be left behind and we will grow apart while he's gone. Ideally, I'd like to move in with him in about a year, but I haven't gotten the sense that he wants me to move in with him ever. What should I do?
  2. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
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    May 2013

    I think it's a good sign that he doesn't want you guys to remain long distance forever. There's nothing you can really do except tell him what you're wanting regarding moving in and see where it goes from here.

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  3. Senior Member
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    Nov 2015
    Give it time. If he isn't ready to get married you can still be together. He's told you he doesn't want to be LD forever, so he'll probably work to change that. If you can't survive the distance then it probably wasn't meant to work out anyway.
  4. Senior Member
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    Nov 2016
    A Midwest State
    What is the reasons you want to wait a year until you move with him? I would tell him my opinions and thoughts about it. If he wants you to move with him and If it was me personally I would want to move with him now. My reason would be because I just graduated, now is a good time to start looking for a job in the career field I just studied in College. Moving with him you could then search for a job and start to get stable where he is at. I just think that if you start looking for a job where you are at now, he moves, then you get a good job and start to get stable where you are then decided to move in a year with him, you have to start all over again, but if he doesnt want you to move with him, then you need to get stable and established where you are - you are both still young and starting a military career is hard for everyone (I think, for different reasons) Just my thoughts... but it is your relationship and life, do what you think is best for you... you have to be happy. But I really think you both need a serious conversation about your futures and where you would like things to end up. What is meant to be will be.
  5. Regular Member
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    Feb 2017
    I think he needs to get started invisible military career and feel it out before you can move to him. I'd love to move right now but I know it's not what is right for my boyfriend and I right now. the distance is hard but it strengthens your relationship (at least it is for us). Let things play out for now I know you're probably scared.
  6. Pri
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    Dec 2016
    You will both grow separately, and that part is scary. I feel like my DB is a whole new person. He became a man without me. If they love and treat you the same, I wouldn't worry. It'll take time for him to adjust. At the end of the day, you are together. Remember to keep yourself whole while he leaves. As for the future part, I suggest you make plans after he's adjusted. That's what keeps these relationships alive at least for me.

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