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View Poll Results: Clothing

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  • Mr Pinstripe Suit (no pinstripes, but you get the idea!)

    4 57.14%
  • Cherchez la Femme

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Someone Else's Wedding - Help!

  1. "...now do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
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    #1

    Someone Else's Wedding - Help!

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    So, one of my best friends is getting married soon. He asked me ages ago to be his "best bitch" - for obvious reasons I'm not well equipped for "best man", but he said he couldn't think of anyone he'd want more, so now I'm best bitch

    I have walked him through most of the process and kept him from accidentally infuriating his (lovely, I genuinely like her) fiancée for the duration. The buck's night is still to come, but between the three of us the other groomsmen and I know how that's going to go. Not an issue. There are, however two things that ARE bothering me, now the time is drawing near...

    I: The clothing. The other two groomsmen are male, and we're all approximately going to be dressing the same. I can either do this by dressing sort of androgynous (I'm tall and have been known to rock a properly tailored suit when the mood hits, so I could absolutely do this) to ACTUALLY match them...or I can cherchez la femme and wear a dress that happens to match the colours. I need to know so I can start chasing down either one or the other.


    ETA: The groom in his wisdom requests only that I "dunno...fit the vibe of the thing?". Helpful, Zava. I love you dearly, you're my best friend and I'll bend over backwards for your sake to give you the wedding you deserve, but...really helpful.

    The bride finds his vagueness very funny, and has largely told me to dress as I like as long as the colours match the rest of the groomsmen.

    Which do you think, wise MSOS?

    II: The speech. I have to write a speech, and have very little idea how. HELP?
    Last edited by Matchbox; 04-07-2017 at 01:31 AM.
  2. Moderator
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    #2
    Which do you think would make him happiest? I'd wear a dress but that's because I hate pants. Passionately.

    For a speech, I'd keep it brief and sincere. Maybe a funny story if you have one, about something that illustrates his character or his love for the wife-to-be. I'd focus on their relationship.
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    Probably ask him/the bride what they'd like you to wear. I went to a wedding earlier this year with a male bridesmaid (what is the term for that lol) and he wore the same outfit as the groomsmen. I feel like that's the best way to do it to avoid looking totally odd? Maybe get a dress in the wedding colors but not exactly the same one as the bridesmaids?
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    1) Ask the bride what she wants you to wear. I was my best friend's 'groomsman' but I wore a bridesmaid dress and stood on her side for pictures. In my experience most guys literally give zero shits about most of the wedding planning so I just did whatever she wanted me to do.

    2) Make it funny!
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

    Is this a dream? If it is, please don't wake me from this high. I'd become comfortably numb
    until you opened up my eyes to what it's like when everything is right...I can't believe you found me ♥
  5. I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
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    #5
    When my son got married, the bridesmaids wore matching dresses in a shade of green. The groomsmen wore blue suits. One of the groomsmen was a woman, and she wore the same dress as the bridesmaids but in the same color of blue as the groomsmen. Worked beautifully!
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    #6
    What will you feel most comfortable in? If neither the bride nor groom care, I'd start there. I'd prefer a dress, so I'd proceed roughly as follows:

    It sounds like you asked the bride and she doesn't really care. I'd ask her to show you what the 'maids are wearing. You want to avoid anything too close to them, or it will like like you tried to match but failed. Presumably, they are wearing something that coordinates color-wise in some way with the men (color of ties, pocket squares, whatever). Avoiding the same silhouette as the maids, pick a dress in that color. (If the men aren't color coordinated with the maids, go with the men's accent color and/or black assuming they are wearing black tuxes or black suits. And in that case, you could consider the same dress as the maids, if it is available in the accent color/black, if it's something in which you'll be comfortable.)

    Then, before buying, send both the groom and bride a photo to confirm it's okay, and unless they object, buy and be happy.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #7
    I recently witnessed a female groomsman wear a suit and she totally rocked it. She wore it better than the guys. If they're okay with it and you're comfortable then absolutely go for it, A dress matching their suits would look just as appealing. I think either would work great. If they really don't care one way or the other just do what you'll be most comfortable with
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    #8
    For some reason I realay like the idea of you wearing a suit. Especially since they're leaving the decision up to you and seem to know you and your personality pretty well
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    If neither of them care I would wear what makes you most comfortable! Totally personal opinion, I like it when the women on the groom's side do a menswear thing but that's mainly just because I love it when women rock menswear. I'm sure you'll look lovely either way!

    Do you know how much they're expecting from the speech? I've seen some get INSANELY long (at my sister's wedding the best man would NOT stop talking and the crowd was getting antsy and was visibly relieved when he finally sat down), I think 2-3 minutes is plenty. Go for amusing but not vulgar, and I agree with focusing on the relationship.
  10. Regular Member
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    #10
    I would personally wear a dress. Also, depending on weather if you want to be warmer you might want to wear a suit if you feel comfortable doing so. I really like the idea that Sally said where the woman wore the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in a different color to match the groomsmen.

    But I agree with the whole idea of do what the bride would like lol!
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