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Thread: Opinions..

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    #1

    Opinions..

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    Hey all, this has really been on my mind all week.. so, I told you all that family day/graduation went well, which it did. But, after taking pictures my DB only posted the ones with his family on social media, and not the ones with me and him. At first, I was a little hurt but I just let it slide since it's his family. But after a while I really got to thinking and it hurt me even more. I feel that I went out of my way just as much has his parents did to be there... it honestly made me feel as if he is embarrassed of me or something. I just really feel left out and not important to him. Am I over reacting?
  2. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #2
    I don't think you're overreacting to feel hurt by what he did, but I would ask him and give him a chance to explain to you why he did it. It's ok to tell him you're hurt and that you don't understand why he made that choice. Try not to get too overwhelmed before he has a chance to explain himself - one thing I've learned with long distance is that it's really easy to assume motives for the other person's behavior and it may turn out that there's something else at play. It sucks that you can't get an answer right away, but hopefully he can get in touch with you soon and let you know why he didn't post his pics with you. I'm sorry you're hurt! I would feel upset too.
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    #3
    I would be hurt as well. I'm sorry
    I want to say that I would ask him about it, but in reality I would post all the pictures you have of both of you and tag him, because the high road is one I'm not great at taking.
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    Yes, I want to talk to him about it but I know that's he's been through a lot with basic training and being away from everyone he loves so I don't want to seem like I'm being insensitive to it and that I am nagging him..
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    #5
    Any suggestions on how I should approach it?
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    #6
    just be honest, "Hey i noticed you posted your graduation pics. It hurt a little that you didn't post the ones I'm in. Is there a reason?" and if there isn't get to uploading those pics!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ashantiw View Post
    Yes, I want to talk to him about it but I know that's he's been through a lot with basic training and being away from everyone he loves so I don't want to seem like I'm being insensitive to it and that I am nagging him..
    Quote Originally Posted by ashantiw View Post
    Any suggestions on how I should approach it?
    Honestly I think it's better to have an open and non-accusatory conversation now rather than to let things fester and possibly create resentment or strife between you two. This likely isn't the last time that something will come up during a separation that needs to be discussed, kwim?

    I would just say something like: Hey I saw the pictures you posted of graduation and they look great! But I noticed that you didn't post any of us together and I just wanted to know why.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ashantiw View Post
    Hey all, this has really been on my mind all week.. so, I told you all that family day/graduation went well, which it did. But, after taking pictures my DB only posted the ones with his family on social media, and not the ones with me and him. At first, I was a little hurt but I just let it slide since it's his family. But after a while I really got to thinking and it hurt me even more. I feel that I went out of my way just as much has his parents did to be there... it honestly made me feel as if he is embarrassed of me or something. I just really feel left out and not important to him. Am I over reacting?


    For how long have you two been together? I think it's important...if for years, I would be offended too.

    It doesn't sound like you're overreacting but I don't think it has anything to do with him being embarrassed of you because his family knows you, he has introduced you to them and it's not a secret that you 2 are together. So it's not embarrassment. Sorry, I only use this website once in while so I don't know the details but if you haven't been together for a long time, maybe he just feels the relationship is not at that stage yet. Like I said, it would matter for how long you've been dating.
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    #9
    It probably bring it up very casually. Right now, you really don't know why he did it, so it's too early to make it A Thing. (Though I too would be feeling a little sting initially.) "Hey DB, I notice you have all the graduation pics of your family posted, and none of the ones of just the two of us made it. I'd love to see those, too. It was such an awesome day, and I was so proud of you. Any chance you are going to post those as well?" See what he says, and then take it from there.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

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