Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: Before I Ask My DB about this.. is this a red flag?

  1. Senior Member
    adnama10's Avatar
    adnama10 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Im in Texas, He's in Korea
    Posts
    283
    #1

    Before I Ask My DB about this.. is this a red flag?

    Advertisements
    So my and my DB communicate mostly though FB messenger. He doesnt post anything (statues, shares etc) so Im never on his page. I clicked on his page today and noticed he adds A LOT of random girls. I noticed he added my cousin (not to be mean but she's a huge flirt and very "promiscuous").(She wasnt around when he met my family and we arent "in a relationship" on FB.. so she probably doesnt know Ive never worried about trust issues since I know both of us have been through a lot. He's been cheated on in his previous relationships so he's really against it. Am I overreacting? As of right now, we just get quick messages here and there because he's out on the field. We had issues before when it comes to communication. I almost ended it a while back but we talked it out, worked on a schedule so to speak and it's worked. (I actually posted something about this (lack of communication)) thats when I almost called it quits)

    Forgot to add.. most of these girls have like 3000 friends.. they seem like "troll pages" and I know my DB adds anyone but it's still bugging me
  2. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,312
    Blog Entries
    2
    #2
    A red flag for what?
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Jazmine's Avatar
    Jazmine is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    9,757

    #3
    I guess it depends on how much stock you put into Facebook. If it's a big deal to you then it's a red flag but it could also just be a family member friending the boyfriend of another family member. I have friends that have added my husband and he doesn't think much of it and I don't either.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by adnama10 View Post
    So my and my DB communicate mostly though FB messenger. He doesnt post anything (statues, shares etc) so Im never on his page. I clicked on his page today and noticed he adds A LOT of random girls. I noticed he added my cousin (not to be mean but she's a huge flirt and very "promiscuous").(She wasnt around when he met my family and we arent "in a relationship" on FB.. so she probably doesnt know Ive never worried about trust issues since I know both of us have been through a lot. He's been cheated on in his previous relationships so he's really against it. Am I overreacting? As of right now, we just get quick messages here and there because he's out on the field. We had issues before when it comes to communication. I almost ended it a while back but we talked it out, worked on a schedule so to speak and it's worked. (I actually posted something about this (lack of communication)) thats when I almost called it quits)
    So, you think this indicative of him possibly cheating or ----???? Wondering what you think this is/might be a "red flag" of.
  5. Banned
    Reagan's Avatar
    Reagan is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    5,960
    #5
    Not necessarily. How do you know they are "random girls"? May not be random to him, how do you know he doesn't know them? If it was me, I wouldn't even bring it up, but that isn't something that would bother me really not unless I see something else other than them being added, like inappropriate comments. To me, bringing it up would just create unnecessary drama and make you look insecure. However that's ME. If it really bothers you and eating away at you, ask him.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Jazmine's Avatar
    Jazmine is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    9,757

    #6
    OP, I will say that it seems like it's a definite red flag that you have some insecurities.
  7. Senior Member
    adnama10's Avatar
    adnama10 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Im in Texas, He's in Korea
    Posts
    283
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Reagan View Post
    Not necessarily. How do you know they are "random girls"? May not be random to him, how do you know he doesn't know them? If it was me, I wouldn't even bring it up, but that isn't something that would bother me really not unless I see something else other than them being added, like inappropriate comments. To me, bringing it up would just create unnecessary drama and make you look insecure. However that's ME. If it really bothers you and eating away at you, ask him.
    No one can post on his wall and he never posts anything so you cant comment on anything. You ladies are right. Im probably overreacting
  8. Senior Member
    adnama10's Avatar
    adnama10 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Im in Texas, He's in Korea
    Posts
    283
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazmine View Post
    OP, I will say that it seems like it's a definite red flag that you have some insecurities.

    I know I do.. my Ex was also military and very emotionally abusive. I think Im still recovering and I shouldnt take it out on my DB since he hasnt done anything to show me he's like my ex.. hes actually the opposite. I think Im just adjusting to the fact that even though there is communication, it's not easy due to the time difference.
  9. Banned
    Reagan's Avatar
    Reagan is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    5,960
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by adnama10 View Post
    No one can post on his wall and he never posts anything so you cant comment on anything. You ladies are right. Im probably overreacting
    Do you think he's talking to them? Why do you feel like it's a red flag? If it is something that's eating away at you, ask him. Otherwise it will get bigger and bigger and will affect your relationship if you hold it in, wondering if he's doing anything shady.
  10. Senior Member
    adnama10's Avatar
    adnama10 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Im in Texas, He's in Korea
    Posts
    283
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Reagan View Post
    Do you think he's talking to them? Why do you feel like it's a red flag? If it is something that's eating away at you, ask him. Otherwise it will get bigger and bigger and will affect your relationship if you hold it in, wondering if he's doing anything shady.
    Youre right. Right now hes stressing out because of his field training so I dont want to add to it. I'll talk to him about it once it's over (field training)
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •