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Thread: Am I over reacting?

  1. Fresh Newbie
    reesescup's Avatar
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    #1

    Am I over reacting?

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    Hello MSOS I am new to the forum and could use some advice from those who have gone through this.

    So I met my DB in November online and we hit it off right away, he is in Afghanistan and won't be back till later in the year. We have never met and we plan on meeting when he gets back. We skype everyday twice a day for hours we always have something to talk about and don't mind the silence when it comes. We got to know each other's entire lives in a matter of a month and we are very comfortable with each other. I am very understanding about working around his daily schedule but he always makes sure to send me a message daily. He started calling me his GF not too long ago and told me he loved me. He hasn't given me any reason not to believe what he says or to not trust him. My BIL and sister are AF and work with Army and my BIL has been deployed to Afghanistan before, they both tell me that I shouldn't get attached to him because most deploye soldiers are bored and lonely and only look for someone to talk to as an outlet...my BIL has told me stories from his deployment and it makes me wonder but I have grown to trust my DB and don't want him to think that I don't if I talk to him about how I feel. I haven't connected with someone so much. I am very afraid to be hurt if he really is only talking to me because he has nothing better to do. Am I overreatcing?
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    If I was you, seeing how you haven't met, I would not get too attached yet. Online romances do work, but they dont always. And yes what your bil said happens does happen but it doesn't mean that is the case here. Just tread slowly. You have plenty of time.
  3. we were all rooting for you
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Southern-queen View Post
    If I was you, seeing how you haven't met, I would not get too attached yet. Online romances do work, but they dont always. And yes what your bil said happens does happen but it doesn't mean that is the case here. Just tread slowly. You have plenty of time.


    I met DB online too
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    I met DF online and didn't meet him IRL for a year and a half (he wasn't deployed though). Online romances can work if you both want it to. And sure he could be lonely and bored, but he may genuinely like you and want to spend time with you. Do you have any plans to meet up once hes home?
  5. Fresh Newbie
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    #5

    See what happens

    he plans on coming to see me a few weeks after he gets back and he asked me to go to his hometown with him to meet his family (which I think is a good sign)
    he keeps me updated the best he can on everything he does and I just found out as of now he is coming home earlier than we thought so we are both excited.
    I decided not to ask him about this stuff and wait for him to come home and see what happens...I hope everything works out but my guard is up
  6. Senior Member
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    #6
    I'm a fan of moving slow anyway, whether its internet or in person meeting.

    To me those do sound like good signs. I am no pro at this yet but coming home early almost never happens from what i have read lol!

    Good luck
  7. Travel Junkie
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    #7
    I met DB online, too. He was not deployed at the time and I was not keen on online dating at all. We corresponded for about two months prior to meeting in person, and I was very reluctant just due to the online aspect (based on my previous experiences).
    Well, here we are, almost five years later. You never know. We're making it; we've survived LDR, deployments....and we're in it for the long run.

    Getting to know each other is great! I'm happy for you However, I do agree with your sister and BIL that keeping it real/for what it is, (he's deployed and you'll see how things go when/if you meet in person), is the best way to play this.

    Best of luck to you!
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    I agree with previous posters. I've heard stories of bored soldiers who connect with people online just to have some entertainment/contact with the real world. BUT that most certainly doesn't mean it is the case with this guy. As others have said, tread carefully and unfortunately you won't know for sure until you meet him in person.

    I met DH online so I know for a fact online romance can be real.
  9. Banned
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    #9
    I know quite a few people who have met online and it was the real thing. The good thing about it is that you really have the chance to get to know one another, without pressure of sex or other things. All you have right now is talking. I would just take it slow, see what happens. Good luck!
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    #10
    do you video Skype with him or just chat?

    has he asked you to send him money?
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