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Thread: Army Special Forces SO's!! Need advice/info

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    Army Special Forces SO's!! Need advice/info

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    My boyfriend, who is currently in the Army Reserves, just got accepted to go active duty and go to SFAS and I'm so proud of him! He'll be leaving shortly for training and I already knew he'd be gone for six years and it'll more than tough. But he seemed kind of doubtful as to if we could even keep a relationship going. And he doesn't want to hold me back for six years. Of course this kind of broke my heart. I know what he'll be doing out there and how hard it'll be to always be in touch but I know we will be able to work through it. So what I want to know is, how often do you get to communicate or hear from your SO once they leave for training and through the whole process? How often do they get to come home on leave and such with him being in training? I've already talked to my SO about most of this, but I want to hear everyone else's experience with it!
    Last edited by MissMina; 01-27-2014 at 01:11 AM. Reason: Didn't specify some things like I should've... It's my first post so cut me some slack ;)
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    My advice would be that if a man doesn't love you enough to declare that he'll do whatever it takes, and if he's willing to just call it quits, you should find someone who can't live without you.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    My advice would be that if a man doesn't love you enough to declare that he'll do whatever it takes, and if he's willing to just call it quits, you should find someone who can't live without you.
    I wouldn't quite use this language, but yeah, basically.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMina View Post
    My boyfriend, who is currently in the Army Reserves, just got accepted to go active duty for special forces and I'm so proud of him! He'll be leaving shortly for training and I already knew he'd be gone for six years and it'll more than tough. But he seemed very doubtful as to if we could even keep a relationship going. And he doesn't want to hold me back for six years. Of course this kind of broke my heart. I know what he'll be doing out there and how hard it'll be to always be in touch but I know we will be able to work through it. So what I want to know is, how often do you get to communicate or hear from your SO once they leave for training and through the whole six years? How often do they get to come home on leave and such with him being in SF? I've already talked to my SO about most of this, but I want to hear everyone else's experience with it! Also, any advice or additional info I should know?
    where is he getting this six year thing from?
    Last edited by Tojai; 01-24-2014 at 08:50 PM. Reason: edited quote for OP PERSEC
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    My advice would be that if a man doesn't love you enough to declare that he'll do whatever it takes, and if he's willing to just call it quits, you should find someone who can't live without you.
    What would he be holding you back from. You'll still have your own life. That excuse always rings like a cop out to me.

    But you should talk to him. Ask him what he wants and if he wants to make it work because you already have that decision down.

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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by MissMina View Post
    My boyfriend, who is currently in the Army Reserves, just got accepted to go active duty for special forces and I'm so proud of him! He'll be leaving shortly for training and I already knew he'd be gone for six years and it'll more than tough. But he seemed very doubtful as to if we could even keep a relationship going. And he doesn't want to hold me back for six years. Of course this kind of broke my heart. I know what he'll be doing out there and how hard it'll be to always be in touch but I know we will be able to work through it. So what I want to know is, how often do you get to communicate or hear from your SO once they leave for training and through the whole six years? How often do they get to come home on leave and such with him being in SF? I've already talked to my SO about most of this, but I want to hear everyone else's experience with it! Also, any advice or additional info I should know?
    6 years? How does he know he's leaving for 6 years? In my experience, they don't even know where they're getting stationed until after training.

    Anyway, if you have to convince him to stay in a relationship with you it's probably time you evaluate the relationship. It doesn't sound like he's very committed to me.
    Last edited by Tojai; 01-24-2014 at 08:51 PM. Reason: edited quote for OP PERSEC

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    OP how long have you been dating? And the 6 years thing doesn't make sense. Things like communication, leave, deployments, training etc... vary far to much to ever predict 6 years out. Planning a month out doesn't even work sometimes.
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    Yeah... 6 years is not right lol good luck OP
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    #9
    Does he mean his contract is 6 years? If so, he's not gonna be gone that whole time. He'll be stationed somewhere and go out for deployments and training but he will still have quite a bit of downtime and ability to communicate/take leave.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    What would he be holding you back from. You'll still have your own life. That excuse always rings like a cop out to me.

    But you should talk to him. Ask him what he wants and if he wants to make it work because you already have that decision down.
    Yes exactly what I'm thinking! I'll still be living my life and doing the things I want, but it isn't like I need to go around dating all these other guys or anything.
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