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Thread: He witnessed his friend commit suicide.

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    #1

    He witnessed his friend commit suicide.

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    DB is deployed so it's normal not to hear from him for a few days, but this morning he messaged me back saying he needed me and that he saw his friend kill himself. He has a tendency to get really introspective and he mentioned feeling like he is changing, and that I'm the only thing he can think of to bring him back.

    I feel like I'm letting him down already because I don't know how to help him short of being with him and trying to make him as light as possible.

    Has anyone else ever delt with this situation and do you have any advice
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by spanican View Post
    DB is deployed so it's normal not to hear from him for a few days, but this morning he messaged me back saying he needed me and that he saw his friend kill himself. He has a tendency to get really introspective and he mentioned feeling like he is changing, and that I'm the only thing he can think of to bring him back.

    I feel like I'm letting him down already because I don't know how to help him short of being with him and trying to make him as light as possible.

    Has anyone else ever delt with this situation and do you have any advice
    I am so very sorry for the pain your SO is going through.
    Can you expand on that a bit, because I am reading it as you thinking you need to try to help him keep things light and if I am misreading that my advice will be off-base.
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    #3
    Encourage him to seek out help. The support of a loved one (you!) is wonderful, but there is different support one gets from a professional. Let him know there is no shame in needing to unburden to someone whose job is to listen.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Encourage him to seek out help. The support of a loved one (you!) is wonderful, but there is different support one gets from a professional. Let him know there is no shame in needing to unburden to someone whose job is to listen.
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    #5
    Let him lead, for starts. Would your FRG be able to point you in the direction of counseling so you know how to deal? Good luck!!

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    #6
    @Ol'Gray Mare
    Thank you, I ment light as in his thoughts. He has a tendency to get cynical and think negativly (which is why I mentioned the introspection, I know this is going to be something he thinks about constantly which is completely understandable)

    I only got a few messages, no real detail and I dont want to make him relive it (I'm sure he doesn't want to horrify me either) he decided to try sleeping since it's pretty late where he's stationed so I probably wont hear anything else until tomorrow at least.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Encourage him to seek out help. The support of a loved one (you!) is wonderful, but there is different support one gets from a professional. Let him know there is no shame in needing to unburden to someone whose job is to listen.
    Thank you, that's a wonderful idea. I'll def suggest it when he wakes up in the morning
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    Let him lead, for starts. Would your FRG be able to point you in the direction of counseling so you know how to deal? Good luck!!
    Uhh, don't hate me but I've quite forgotten what an FRG stands for X.X
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Encourage him to seek out help. The support of a loved one (you!) is wonderful, but there is different support one gets from a professional. Let him know there is no shame in needing to unburden to someone whose job is to listen.
    there's only so much you can do to help and he may need additional support you can't offer at the moment (Or ever). I'm sorry he is going through this
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by spanican View Post
    Uhh, don't hate me but I've quite forgotten what an FRG stands for X.X
    Family Readiness Group. It's basically the group that provides info and support to loved ones during deployments (and when they are home as well).
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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