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Thread: The holidays are here and DB hates his job (this time of year?)

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    #1

    The holidays are here and DB hates his job (this time of year?)

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    Hi hi,
    So DB is having some trouble at work and is not in the best of moods. He has had to work every major holiday including his birthday for a second time around and I feel like that could definitely have something to do with why he is so down in the dumps but I am still worried about him. He's been in the field training and I just returned from vacation. It's been about a month and we probably won't see each other till another couple of weeks so any support I can give is only on the phone. He doesn't really really want to talk about exactly what's going on over the phone and I don't blame him but he seems alittle off his game and not in the right mindset when I talk to him. It seems similar to depression but not sure if that's exactly what it is. I know there isn't really much I can do as far as fixing whatever problem he is having but I have told him that if he needs to talk to someone professionally I can help him find someone and I will be there for him 100%. Does anyone else's SO get in this mood around the holidays? Any advice?

    Thanks!

    P.S. his job involves periodic stays at a secure facility which I think really stress him out because he has virtually no contact with the outside world.For example, yesterday someone ratted on him for having his cellphone and his higher-ups confiscated it and smashed it to pieces. With that type of stress I would be feeling pretty sh#@_y too just not sure if this is the type of stuff he deals with on a daily basis.
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    #2
    I seriously doubt his higher ups smashed his cell phone to pieces. If that happened, please encourage him to report that. That is not allowed. It might be confiscated, depending on the circumstances, and potentially checked to see what is on it, if it was used, etc. But they are not allowed to damage it and I am skeptical that that happened. If it did, again, he needs to pursue the matter.

    That being said, bringing his phone to a secure facility is stupid and doing so jeopardizes his career. He can get in to serious trouble for that. Depending on the level of security of the facility and whether he's using his phone (vs. just having it), it could be very bad for him. Those rules exist for a reason. If that stresses him out so much, perhaps he need to talk to someone and consider seeing if he can be released from his enlistment for failure to adapt or something similar, or at least get some counseling.

    But breaking the rules is just making his stress and problems worse.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I seriously doubt his higher ups smashed his cell phone to pieces. If that happened, please encourage him to report that. That is not allowed. It might be confiscated, depending on the circumstances, and potentially checked to see what is on it, if it was used, etc. But they are not allowed to damage it and I am skeptical that that happened. If it did, again, he needs to pursue the matter.

    That being said, bringing his phone to a secure facility is stupid and doing so jeopardizes his career. He can get in to serious trouble for that. Depending on the level of security of the facility and whether he's using his phone (vs. just having it), it could be very bad for him. Those rules exist for a reason. If that stresses him out so much, perhaps he need to talk to someone and consider seeing if he can be released from his enlistment for failure to adapt or something similar, or at least get some counseling.

    But breaking the rules is just making his stress and problems worse.
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I seriously doubt his higher ups smashed his cell phone to pieces. If that happened, please encourage him to report that. That is not allowed. It might be confiscated, depending on the circumstances, and potentially checked to see what is on it, if it was used, etc. But they are not allowed to damage it and I am skeptical that that happened. If it did, again, he needs to pursue the matter.

    That being said, bringing his phone to a secure facility is stupid and doing so jeopardizes his career. He can get in to serious trouble for that. Depending on the level of security of the facility and whether he's using his phone (vs. just having it), it could be very bad for him. Those rules exist for a reason. If that stresses him out so much, perhaps he need to talk to someone and consider seeing if he can be released from his enlistment for failure to adapt or something similar, or at least get some counseling.

    But breaking the rules is just making his stress and problems worse.
    Yea I understand what you're saying. Bringing his phone was a dumb idea. I don't necessarily know exactly what went down over there but it honestly wouldn't surprise me if his phone was smashed, I don't think he'd lie about that. I guess I just don't understand how everything went downhill so fast. I feel like he just wants to quit and that doesn't sit well. He doesn't have any suicidal thoughts that I know of but I think it would benefit him to talk to someone about what's going on. Next time we see each other in person he is going to tell me exactly the situation he is in. He's good at what he does, a strong man, and has a good head on my shoulders I just hope whatever it is that is bothering him it is something that he can move past.
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    #5
    I think he's just in a funk but I can't say for sure :/
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexandria♥ View Post
    Yea I understand what you're saying. Bringing his phone was a dumb idea. I don't necessarily know exactly what went down over there but it honestly wouldn't surprise me if his phone was smashed, I don't think he'd lie about that. I guess I just don't understand how everything went downhill so fast. I feel like he just wants to quit and that doesn't sit well. He doesn't have any suicidal thoughts that I know of but I think it would benefit him to talk to someone about what's going on. Next time we see each other in person he is going to tell me exactly the situation he is in. He's good at what he does, a strong man, and has a good head on my shoulders I just hope whatever it is that is bothering him it is something that he can move past.
    What sounds like went down is he broke the rules. They are not going to just let it slide. They will punish him, make his life miserable, make him work days he doesn't want to work, holidays, days where no one else wants to work, so they make him. They don't take these things lightly, esp when be breaks rules at a high security job. It does sound to me that some of this is his own fault and now he's feeling sorry for himself.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reagan View Post
    What sounds like went down is he broke the rules. They are not going to just let it slide. They will punish him, make his life miserable, make him work days he doesn't want to work, holidays, days where no one else wants to work, so they make him. They don't take these things lightly, esp when be breaks rules at a high security job. It does sound to me that some of this is his own fault and now he's feeling sorry for himself.
    They took his phone yesterday but he has been in this mood since the beginning of December. Yes, he broke the rules and we will have to face the consequences for that but I'm worried about how he has been feeling before then. He told me that he's not in trouble with the cellphone thing but he said there is some other stuff going on at work that is stressing him out.
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    #8
    He has been in for a year and his stresses began before this whole cellphone incident and I think everything is finally coming to a head and he's not handling it well.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Alexandria♥ View Post
    Hi hi,
    So DB is having some trouble at work and is not in the best of moods. He has had to work every major holiday including his birthday for a second time around and I feel like that could definitely have something to do with why he is so down in the dumps but I am still worried about him. He's been in the field training and I just returned from vacation. It's been about a month and we probably won't see each other till another couple of weeks so any support I can give is only on the phone. He doesn't really really want to talk about exactly what's going on over the phone and I don't blame him but he seems alittle off his game and not in the right mindset when I talk to him. It seems similar to depression but not sure if that's exactly what it is. I know there isn't really much I can do as far as fixing whatever problem he is having but I have told him that if he needs to talk to someone professionally I can help him find someone and I will be there for him 100%. Does anyone else's SO get in this mood around the holidays? Any advice?

    Thanks!

    P.S. his job involves periodic stays at a secure facility which I think really stress him out because he has virtually no contact with the outside world.For example, yesterday someone ratted on him for having his cellphone and his higher-ups confiscated it and smashed it to pieces. With that type of stress I would be feeling pretty sh#@_y too just not sure if this is the type of stuff he deals with on a daily basis.
    Yeah he definitely messed up taking a phone in a secure area, that is a REALLY big deal. Hopefully he can get back on the right track.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Alexandria♥ View Post
    He has been in for a year and his stresses began before this whole cellphone incident and I think everything is finally coming to a head and he's not handling it well.
    Sorry. I realize I don't know your DB but if he is ballsy enough to take his cellphone into a secure area and not care about the consequences, I'm sure there are other things he is doing that will cause his higher ups to make his life miserable. He may not be telling you everything.
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