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Thread: What is it like to be alone.. ?

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    #1

    Smile What is it like to be alone.. ?

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    Hello, my husband and I are still considering the Air Force. I would just like to know how to get through the times when he leaves. Boot Camp? Tech school? Right now I'm not going to be worrying about anything past tech school, but if you have some advice you want to share for deployment then that's fine too. I know everyone says "stay busy" and I will still be a full time student while he is gone and working but I can only do so much without burning myself out. So any advice will help. Thank you all.
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    #2
    Start a new hobby? I took up knitting/crocheting so I can make my DB stuff and send it to him. I also work so that keeps me busy as well. Volunteer work is always good for the soul too!!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleSnyder View Post
    Hello, my husband and I are still considering the Air Force. I would just like to know how to get through the times when he leaves. Boot Camp? Tech school? Right now I'm not going to be worrying about anything past tech school, but if you have some advice you want to share for deployment then that's fine too. I know everyone says "stay busy" and I will still be a full time student while he is gone and working but I can only do so much without burning myself out. So any advice will help. Thank you all.
    I don't think there is a magic solution you just do it because you have to, I am halfway through a year tour, it sucks but I just take it one day at a time.
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    Writing letters and finding stuff to write about throughout the day was something that helped me get through it. Also, it is absolutely okay to take a day or two to be mopey if you need to, but try not to let it consume your time. Like kwikcham said, though, there is no magic solution.

    "Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light." -John Milton
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    Find some kind of outlet for yourself. Whatever you like to do, do it. Sometimes you can find a bright side in deployments because you have more time to yourself to do what you need.
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    #6
    Stay busy is good advice! I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends... one friend in particular whose husband had left for basic a couple weeks early was really my saving grace, tbh.
  7. La vie boheme
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    Stay busy with your schooling but remember to take time for yourself as well. You need to allow some time for you to do things that relax you, otherwise you WILL get burnt out.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    #8
    Like others have said, there is no big secret. It just is what it is. Your attitude towards the situation, IMO, dictates how the time will go 100%. It's ok to get sad sometimes. It's ok to cry. But if you let it consume you, you'll be miserable Once you get it out of your system, focus on school. Do things you love to do. Use the time he is away to do things you normally wouldnt do when he is there. Go to restaurants you normally wouldnt go to because he doesnt like them (that sort of thing anyway). The biggest thing that helped me was writing letters. Every night as part of my getting ready for bed routine I would write him a letter, telling him all the things I would normally tell him about my day. Also, friends. It will be very lonely if you dont see your friends a lot. Good luck! The Air Force is a great choice lol It's really not as bad as you think it is to be alone. I'm not saying you dont miss them like hell. But you also learn more about yourself than you think you would. You learn to be more dependent on yourself as well. Learn to be ok with him not being there (although you still cant wait for him to be back!) If you ever need anything just shoot me a message!
  9. be silly. be honest. be kind.
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    #9
    DH and I weren't yet a couple when he went through basic and AIT (the Army schools are different than AF) but we went through a 12 month deployment and routinely go through short seperations due to the nature of his current duty station. What's helped the most is a close knit, supportive group of friends, remaining positive and finding good things to occupy my time. No matter what just keep in mind that any seperation won't last forever, it will eventually pass

    "The purpose of life is not to simply be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."
    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    #10
    If you weren't married, would you be okay living alone? Would you find ways to be whole and complete, or would you absolutley have to have roommates, and would you constantly feel like you were missing something?

    Some people do just fine alone and single. Others don't. I think you have to ask yourself which you are (and think carefully about it and answer honestly). And if you are the latter, then this will probably be very, very hard on you and your relationship, but if you are the former, you will be okay. You'll have days where you feel sad or frustrated, but you'll make it through.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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