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Thread: Have you ever had issues with your DB/DH's siblings?

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    #1

    Bang Head Have you ever had issues with your DB/DH's siblings?

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    First off, Communication has gotten better with my DB. Hes been busy adjusting to his new job but its getting better (the communication).

    Anyways, he was talking about getting a house when he gets back to the states. He had brought it up before he left. When he does get this house, he wants to get it with his parents (he helps them a lot financially because both of them are on disability).

    I kind of feel weird that his older sister will also be moving in. Shes my age (28). She works but from what my DB says, she still lives with his parents and doesnt help them financially. She was telling him what kind of room to get her and how to design her own bathroom. Since shes older than him, when he is here, she makes plans for him the entire time he is here. She sets up dinners, get togethers, parties, all kinds of things without actually telling him. He had to sneak out to see me a few times because she pretty much booked him the month he was here. He felt bad for bailing out on the parties so he was stuck between seeing me and being with his family. (of course I told him to see his family). I totally understand that they want to see him since they never get to see him. But does she really need to do all this? It drove me crazy!! This happened both times he was here (when he got back from Afghan and when he came back for a mth before he went to Korea)

    Is it bad for me to be annoyed by this?
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    #2
    not bad to be annoyed, but there is little you can do other than tell him to grow a pair and man up to his sister.

    I understand him wanting to buy a house for him and his parents, but his sister.. Eff that.

    She doesn't need to dictate his life, but this is something HE needs to take care of.. not you.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    Uh, no. Not bad of you to be annoyed. I sure the heck would be.

    Has he tried talking to her about her controlling behaviour?
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    #4
    Is he okay with her moving in?


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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by adnama10 View Post
    First off, Communication has gotten better with my DB. He’s been busy adjusting to his new job but it’s getting better (the communication).

    Anyways, he was talking about getting a house when he gets back to the states. He had brought it up before he left. When he does get this house, he wants to get it with his parents (he helps them a lot financially because both of them are on disability).

    I kind of feel weird that his older sister will also be moving in. She’s my age (28). She works but from what my DB says, she still lives with his parents and doesn’t help them financially. She was telling him what kind of room to get her and how to design her own bathroom. Since she’s older than him, when he is here, she makes plans for him the entire time he is here. She sets up dinners, get togethers, parties, all kinds of things without actually telling him. He had to sneak out to see me a few times because she pretty much booked him the month he was here. He felt bad for bailing out on the parties so he was stuck between seeing me and being with his family. (of course I told him to see his family). I totally understand that they want to see him since they never get to see him. But does she really need to do all this? It drove me crazy!! This happened both times he was here (when he got back from Afghan and when he came back for a mth before he went to Korea)

    Is it bad for me to be annoyed by this?


    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    not bad to be annoyed, but there is little you can do other than tell him to grow a pair and man up to his sister.

    I understand him wanting to buy a house for him and his parents, but his sister.. Eff that.

    She doesn't need to dictate his life, but this is something HE needs to take care of.. not you.



    To answer your question, this is one reason I am glad that DH is an only child.
  6. The Dude Abides
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    #6
    It's odd that your DB's sister is so controlling of him. I agree with PPs, it's not bad for you to be annoyed, but it will be better if your DB handles it.
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    #7
    She seems like she is a leach, sounds harsh bt she should be able to take care of herself and he shouldn't have to. I think you have a right to be annoyed, is he?
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    Frankly, I think that him buying a house for his family to liv ein is a recipe for disaster, regardless of the issues with his sister.

    What happens when they don't pay? If they cause damage? Is he willing to evict his family? I doubt it. There is a reason people say you shouldn't mix business and family.

    As for his sister, it seems like he need to man up and stand up to her. Sneaking out to see you is silly. Why can't he flat out tell her, "This is how I want to spend my time. Sorry you set up a diner party, but I am not going to be there as you didn't ask me about it and I already have other plans."? If he can't stand up to them, it seems like there are some boundary issues, which is all the more reason that it's a horrible idea for him to buy a house for them to live in.

    Of course, it's his money and his choice, so there's not all that much you can do, but you can certainly ask him if he's thought it through. But in the end, it is his call and if he can't manage it, he will have to deal with the fall out.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    not bad to be annoyed, but there is little you can do other than tell him to grow a pair and man up to his sister.

    I understand him wanting to buy a house for him and his parents, but his sister.. Eff that.

    She doesn't need to dictate his life, but this is something HE needs to take care of.. not you.
    Thats what Im saying!! He's super close to his mom and he enjoys taking care of her. But he doesnt need to be taking care of his older sister -_-
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by StuckInKorea View Post
    She seems like she is a leach, sounds harsh bt she should be able to take care of herself and he shouldn't have to. I think you have a right to be annoyed, is he?
    He seems to be used to it. He told me that he's talked to her about setting up all these plans without telling him and she ends up making him feel guilty about it.
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