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Thread: I don't know what I should do

  1. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #1

    I don't know what I should do

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    I haven't spoken to my mom since I posted last about her, which resulted in me blocking her on facebook. My sister has been trying to calm her down & make her see things my way a little more clearly so she gave her my number just in case. Which, is fine. I don't care if she has it because I would rather she did for emergencies as long as she doesn't start shit. But I just received this text from her:

    "I miss you. When will you talk to me?"

    I just don't know what to do. The last time she sent me a message that wasn't mean or name calling was the one asking about the Christmas presents and that completely blew up in my face after replying to her. I don't even know if I want to talk to her.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    *I* would compose a very polite, very direct, very clear message back to her (ie e-mail - because it would be too lengthy for text) that set out my thoughts and feelings on what had happened, what lead me to the decision I had made and what would have to be different for me to feel comfortable reestablishing the relationship - and let her know that you will talk to her again when she has read and understands those guidelines and that communication will cease again immediately if/when those terms are violated.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    *I* would compose a very polite, very direct, very clear message back to her (ie e-mail - because it would be too lengthy for text) that set out my thoughts and feelings on what had happened, what lead me to the decision I had made and what would have to be different for me to feel comfortable reestablishing the relationship - and let her know that you will talk to her again when she has read and understands those guidelines and that communication will cease again immediately if/when those terms are violated.
    I don't think she'd understand it much. The last time I sent her a polite message letting her know my feelings, she took it the complete opposite way & I was apparently just a goody two shoes bitch.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #4
    I would ignore it, since you know that no matter what you write, it will cause drama. Not writing will also cause drama, but it will be easier to deal with, because you will be ignoring her and not responding.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    I don't think she'd understand it much. The last time I sent her a polite message letting her know my feelings, she took it the complete opposite way & I was apparently just a goody two shoes bitch.
    I would still maybe try this approach. Perhaps you could include something like if she isn't ready to try and understand what your feelings are without getting angry than you aren't ready to try and start a relationship with her again. That's very clearly putting the ball in her court and she will realize that her continued attitudes are the reason you guys aren't on good terms.
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  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    I don't think she'd understand it much. The last time I sent her a polite message letting her know my feelings, she took it the complete opposite way & I was apparently just a goody two shoes bitch.
    That would, unfortunately, be the end of it then I guess - if I didn't think that I would be heard and understand and was not willing to re-invest myself in the status quo of what the relationship was I would not respond.
  7. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #7
    Wow... ummm... I guess that worked? Like, I'm literally in disbelief.

    She apologized for hurting me and calling me that "retched" name. I'm still going to walk on egg shells though. I know my mom's temper is like a cannon ready to explode, it's where I get my temper from but hers is a hella lot worse. So I do know that anything that she does take personally can be the match but I didn't deserve what she called me & I haven't fully recovered from it. But I did let her know that if she ever comes at me again with anger like that, then that'll be it. I'm taking my chances and swallowing my pride for the time being but if anything like this happens again, I will not allow it for the sake of my sanity and my son's well being. Negativity is a damn toxin and my mom is not a terrible person, regardless of the side she showed during this, but she's not glittered covered unicorn shit either.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
  8. scotlandgrl53
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    #8
    I'm glad that it worked sort of! I don't blame you for approaching another relationship with her with caution! Just take it slow and hopefully you guys can come to an understanding that works for both of you!
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    #9
    Big to you and as you move forward. I do hope that you are able to heal the relationship and that you are not hurt again.
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    #10
    I'm glad you made some progress with her. I hope for your whole family's sake she will stay civil.

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