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Thread: Boyfriend in afghan and has become distant with just two weeks to go

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    #1

    Boyfriend in afghan and has become distant with just two weeks to go

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    This is a long shot anyone will reply but Ill be so grateful...
    My boyfriend of a year is in afghan with the RAF, he left end of july and is back in just over two weeks.
    I noticed around a month ago he became so so distant, some days we don't talk at all. It really pains me. He was so happy when he first got there talking about proposing and buying a house with me, thats all stopped completely. Sundays as usually the best day to talk to him, he was in a really good mood this morning and was flirting and being cheeky and I got a glimmer of hope we will be ok again. But then tonight he sent me a couple of messages saying he was going to bed then said good night without saying I love you. He won't say it unless I say it first anymore, this is my biggest worry. Im hoping its just a coping mechanism, can anybody who's been through this before relate? I thought he would be getting excited and become more cuddlery now its two weeks to go but I just can't work him out and I just hope he hasn't fallen out of love with me.
    Can anybody shed any light on this behaviour?
    Thank you
    A sad girlfriend x
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    My guess is that he is both very busy and there is anxiety

    About coming home which is normal. I wouldn't read anything into it.
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    #3
    I just worry he has fallen out of love with me...
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    #4
    Keep in mind that there is, for most, a readjustment period going from home to deployment mode and deployment to home mode. They also get busy having to pack up to come home. As guynavywife said, don't read too much in to it. Also, be prepared when he does come home to let him readjust to home life. We have to be patient with our men when they come home to fall back into a home routine and come out of a routine that they have for 6 plus months.
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    #5
    When DH (then DF) was deployed and coming towards the end, I wanted to countdown and remind him that he was coming home soon! He said he didn't want to talk about how near it was or countdown, because that only made the time pass slower. That could be part of it???
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    Yeah I know he is fed up and waiting to come home, I keep trying to tell myself its just a coping mechanism but I just wanted some reassurance this is normal behaviour and its not him trying to say something x
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    #7
    I've never been through a deployment but I would agree with what others have said. It's tough. Hang in there.

    Also, I think you stating how many weeks until he returns may be violation of OPSEC. You may want to edit that out.
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    #8
    At the end of deployments, they becoming extremely busy to get ready for the transition, which can cause a lot of stress. I wouldn't worry about it.

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    #9
    don't worry thats not the actually number of weeks I purposely did that lol x
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by ofnyandrome View Post
    When DH (then DF) was deployed and coming towards the end, I wanted to countdown and remind him that he was coming home soon! He said he didn't want to talk about how near it was or countdown, because that only made the time pass slower. That could be part of it???
    Same here with DF. The end was sooooooo much worse than the beginning for us. Hang in there OP.

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