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Thread: New to the Life

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    #1

    New to the Life

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    I am completely new being a girlfriend of a military guy. What makes my situation so unusual is our age. My boyfriend is a career guy (30+ years) and I am in my late 40's. We thought he was going to retire in a few months but the Army had other plans. He does not deploy because of his job but is gone unexpectedly for long periods sometimes. This last time was 45 days and then we only had a couple of hours before he was gone again. Being supportive and deployment I get, my son is a Marine, I went through his deployment. Is there anyone out there that has started a relationship like mine or someone with years of experience in this life to give me advice on how to give him what he needs? or how to get through it? Sometimes wonder if he is still my guy.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by tbsenglish View Post
    I am completely new being a girlfriend of a military guy. What makes my situation so unusual is our age. My boyfriend is a career guy (30+ years) and I am in my late 40's. We thought he was going to retire in a few months but the Army had other plans. He does not deploy because of his job but is gone unexpectedly for long periods sometimes. This last time was 45 days and then we only had a couple of hours before he was gone again. Being supportive and deployment I get, my son is a Marine, I went through his deployment. Is there anyone out there that has started a relationship like mine or someone with years of experience in this life to give me advice on how to give him what he needs? or how to get through it? Sometimes wonder if he is still my guy.
    and welcome
    I'm not sure why you think your age makes your situation unusual What is causing you to question the bolded?
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    and welcome
    I'm not sure why you think your age makes your situation unusual What is causing you to question the bolded?
    I imagine it's because most girlfriend/boyfriend relationships with military personnel don't have their members in their 40s There's nothing wrong with it, but it's certainly not the norm.
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    “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -- Carl Sagan

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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by katinahat View Post
    I imagine it's because most girlfriend/boyfriend relationships with military personnel don't have their members in their 40s There's nothing wrong with it, but it's certainly not the norm.
    It just doesn't seem that unusual to me - maybe because our social circle has tended to be in the more "senior" (age, not rank) range that to me that is the norm.
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    #5
    Welcome! I dont think it's unusual. Im sure you go everyone goes through the same emotions and has the same questions when it comes dating to someone in the military. Just be supportive, with your son being a Marine you understand that this job can be demanding at times.
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    #6
    I was 35 when I married DH, I found it no more unusual than when I married my First husband when I was 18.
    I found the challenges to be the same, but with age it was easier to deal with the separations and the issues of deployment and the life style.

    my son was also AD when I married DH, which in itself presented unique challenges. but overall not too difficult.

    my age was never an issue and DH is a few years younger than me and will retire next year.
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    Thanks for the replies. I guess what I am finding different because of our ages is that he is a career guy with 34 years of service. This isn't a life we are going to grow together in, he has already achieved rank. We aren't a young enlisted couple growing in rank together, I am coming in on the back end of a long career. As I said he is not deployed but his job causes him to be suddenly gone for long periods or short periods of time. I never know how long he will be gone and sometimes when I expect him back he gets diverted or extended and can't call or text. All I have been able to do to be supportive is not complain, tell him I love him and be patient. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there with a situation like mine with their guy's job.
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    I was 34 when I met my now husband and he had already been in 14 years then. Not as long as yours but still he had already done a big chunk of his career. Do you guys live together? Or live in the same city?
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by tbsenglish View Post
    I guess what I am finding different because of our ages is that he is a career guy with 34 years of service.
    As I said he is not deployed but his job causes him to be suddenly gone for long periods or short periods of time. I never know how long he will be gone and sometimes when I expect him back he gets diverted or extended and can't call or text.
    I was just wondering if there was anyone out there with a situation like mine with their guy's job.
    His leaving on short notice, not knowing how long he will be gone for and not being able to call or text is somewhat unusual, but there are many women on this site who deal with the same situation. And there are many women who are not the first SO in their SO's life, and therefore they were not together at the start of their SO's career. What I find more unusual is that he has 34 years of service and is not allowed to retire.
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    #10
    No we don't live together but close about 40 minute drive.
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