Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: Help for my bestfriend

  1. Account Closed
    USAFwife7492's Avatar
    USAFwife7492 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    amherst new york
    Posts
    1,466
    #1

    Help for my bestfriend

    Advertisements
    Okay I am at a complete loss on what to do for my bestfriend. It has me torn up inside and stressed out which I know isnt good because I am pregnant. Any advice would be great. Anyways she is 21 has a 2 year old daughter with her fiance that she has been with almost 4 years. She is constantly telling me how he screams at her all the time and doesnt do anything to help her. Example=He was downstairs sleeping taking a nap and he woke up, came upstairs and yelled at her "why the fuck arent you downstairs laying down with me." She has told me several times she is miserable and she cant stand the way he treats her but always goes back to him. They live downstairs at her parents house and he currently is unemployed, She works full time as a waitress and never has time to herself because hse is always with the baby or him. Well lately I have seen a dramatic decline in her mental health. She has been super depressed and stressed out talking about wanting to die and killing herself. She told me tonight that she cut her wrist last week. I told her I know what shes feeling because I was this low in my life before. But cutting her wrists wasnt worth the psych wards,doctor bills, and medication. That she was a strong woman and I would help her through this. Her mother texted me some things but one of the things is she thought that my bestfriends fiance may have hit her before. I asked my bestfriend and she immediately was like.." I do not want to talk about this and I am seriously fine."When not even 10 mins earlier she said she wanted to kill herself. This came off to me as an alarm in my head that he could possibly have hit her before. I am going to go to her work around the time she gets out tonight and wait for her to get out and try and talk to her. I asked her mother to make sure her daughter was okay and taken care of cuz I know she will be worried about that and will immediately say " I need to go home and take care of A******). Im not sure what else to do but I know i need to help her. If anything happened to her I would feel so guilty for not trying to help.
  2. Ummmmm...........
    Abbynormal's Avatar
    Abbynormal is offline
    Ummmmm...........
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    8,438
    Blog Entries
    1

    #2
    Her mother needs to not let her go to work and take her to the ER. Self harm is worth the ER. She is worth the ER.
  3. Account Closed
    USAFwife7492's Avatar
    USAFwife7492 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    amherst new york
    Posts
    1,466
    #3
    Her mother didnt know. Her mother is a nurse and trust me that would've been the first thing her mother wouldve done. When I said cutting her wrists wssnt worth any of that I meant like think about that before doing it. Even though I know before that happens you arent really going to be thinking about Emergency rooms and medication. I knwo I didnt.
  4. Pour a little salt, we were never here
    [his] lobster's Avatar
    [his] lobster is offline
    Pour a little salt, we were never here
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    8,737

    #4
    Why do her parents let this guy stay there?
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by USAFwife7492 View Post
    Okay I am at a complete loss on what to do for my bestfriend. It has me torn up inside and stressed out which I know isnt good because I am pregnant. Any advice would be great. Anyways she is 21 has a 2 year old daughter with her fiance that she has been with almost 4 years. She is constantly telling me how he screams at her all the time and doesnt do anything to help her. Example=He was downstairs sleeping taking a nap and he woke up, came upstairs and yelled at her "why the fuck arent you downstairs laying down with me." She has told me several times she is miserable and she cant stand the way he treats her but always goes back to him. They live downstairs at her parents house and he currently is unemployed, She works full time as a waitress and never has time to herself because hse is always with the baby or him. Well lately I have seen a dramatic decline in her mental health. She has been super depressed and stressed out talking about wanting to die and killing herself. She told me tonight that she cut her wrist last week. I told her I know what shes feeling because I was this low in my life before. But cutting her wrists wasnt worth the psych wards,doctor bills, and medication. That she was a strong woman and I would help her through this. Her mother texted me some things but one of the things is she thought that my bestfriends fiance may have hit her before. I asked my bestfriend and she immediately was like.." I do not want to talk about this and I am seriously fine."When not even 10 mins earlier she said she wanted to kill herself. This came off to me as an alarm in my head that he could possibly have hit her before. I am going to go to her work around the time she gets out tonight and wait for her to get out and try and talk to her. I asked her mother to make sure her daughter was okay and taken care of cuz I know she will be worried about that and will immediately say " I need to go home and take care of A******). Im not sure what else to do but I know i need to help her. If anything happened to her I would feel so guilty for not trying to help.
    Quote Originally Posted by USAFwife7492 View Post
    Her mother didnt know. Her mother is a nurse and trust me that would've been the first thing her mother wouldve done. When I said cutting her wrists wssnt worth any of that I meant like think about that before doing it. Even though I know before that happens you arent really going to be thinking about Emergency rooms and medication. I knwo I didnt.
    You need to speak to her mother, tell her what has been going on and express your concerns
  6. Account Closed
    USAFwife7492's Avatar
    USAFwife7492 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    amherst new york
    Posts
    1,466
    #6
    Bestfriend pays rent. Her mother doesnt like him but, she is 21 and they have a child. She does not want to cause anymore stress on to her. I cant really say anything else about what her mother thinks, cuz Im not her. I just know that she loves her daughter and would do anything to make her happy. There are a lot of things my bestfriend hasnt told her mother about her and her fiance.
  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by USAFwife7492 View Post
    Bestfriend pays rent. Her mother doesnt like him but, she is 21 and they have a child. She does not want to cause anymore stress on to her. I cant really say anything else about what her mother thinks, cuz Im not her. I just know that she loves her daughter and would do anything to make her happy. There are a lot of things my bestfriend hasnt told her mother about her and her fiance.
    The mother is making choices with only half the information....which is why if you are truly concerned and truly feel your friend may be putting her life in danger you need to tell her mother.
  8. Account Closed
    USAFwife7492's Avatar
    USAFwife7492 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    amherst new york
    Posts
    1,466
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    You need to speak to her mother, tell her what has been going on and express your concerns
    Oh trust me I have been talking with her all night.Her mother said that my bestfriends fiance reminds her of her husband. Which most the time isnt a good thing. My bestfriend is now denying everything and keeps saying she is fine.
  9. Account Closed
    USAFwife7492's Avatar
    USAFwife7492 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    amherst new york
    Posts
    1,466
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    The mother is making choices with only half the information....which is why if you are truly concerned and truly feel your friend may be putting her life in danger you need to tell her mother.
    I did tell her mother as soon as she told me. But my bestfriend is at work 45 mins away from her. I am texting her mother telling her when she gets home to take her to the doctors.
  10. aka Milfon2Wheelz
    BraveLilToaster's Avatar
    BraveLilToaster is offline
    aka Milfon2Wheelz
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Kings Bay Ga
    Posts
    10,109


    #10
    The best that her mom could do is bring her to the ER for an eval and they *could* do a 72 hour psych hold but other than that there isn't much you or her mom can do. Domestic violence victims have to be the ones to go to the police, other people cannot go on their behalf. I'm so sorry, that is a tough position to be in.
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •