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Thread: UGH..my family is putting me in a rough place...

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    Sad UGH..my family is putting me in a rough place...

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    So I have 2 older brothers, one is in the airforce and the other lives in miami. The brother that lives in miami has chromes disease. He currently working full-time and a full-time student.

    Here comes the problem..... As much as i love my brother i know him all too well.... I heard a couple weeks ago that his financial aid was going to be taken away. His explaination to my mother as to why there taking it away is " i wasnt getting straight A's" WELL little does my brother know i had financial aid taken away from me when i was in college because i failed like every class one semester and it continued into the second.

    Financial aid always gives you a warning that if you dont pick up your grades in the next semester they will put you on academic probation which basically means they make you pay for a semester out of pocket and if you get your grades back up then they'll give you back your financial aid.

    With all this i just dont really get the best feeling... My brother smokes marijuana but of course my mother has no clue. && hes actually a heavy drinker as well. (which of course makes him flare up like a lightbulb with his condition)

    My mom has always felt bad for him because of everything thats happened to him. (hes gone through a lot with his disease)

    HERES MY HUGE ISSUE.
    My lovely brother texted me today to ask me how good my credit is....I said good why.... && he goes on to ask me if ill co-sign on a student loan for him since he cant pay for school out of pocket. Im in such a huge predicament here.... My brother is 25 years old and still hasnt gotten his bachelors degree... mind you he hasnt taken time off of school which just means he was either taking little to no classes or he was just repeatedly failing his classes. I feel like me being his younger sister i need to help him out of course because hes family... but on the other side of things i really dont care to add more debit to myself. I am just now paying off all my credit cards and on my way to pay off all of my student loans.

    Am i being a horrible sister if i choose to say no? (my mom cant sign for the loan because she has no job) So im basically his only choice...

    I have no idea what to do here.... I want to help him but i dont want to sign for a loan...

    Any advice on my situation && does anyone know of any other way of getting money for school? im aware of grants and im gonna try to see what i can do.
    I just feel like i shouldnt be having to take care of my OLDER brother, it should be the other way around....ugh so lost...

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    #2
    Uhg I hate mixing finance and family.

    Before getting too deep into it, can you cosign for a student loan <25yo? I'm pretty sure at least some of them you can't.
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    Say No. 100 times No. I know it sucks and hurts, but I would not put myself out there financially for those reasons. If you DO cosign, do so assuming and being at peace with paying the whole loan. If you're not okay with that, and you're going to expect him to pay it, do not do it.
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    #4
    Hell no. Nuh uh. I would not be co-signing on a student loan. If the person was reliable sure but he just lost his financial aid... that's red flag number 1 on why you should not sign for a loan.

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    #5
    If you can't afford to just give him the money outright, you can't afford to sign on a loan for him. My exDB cosigned his little sister's loan because his parents were being mean and now he's paying all her student loans too on top of his 60K.
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    Hell no. If he doesn't pay it back they come after you for the entire thing. They do not have to try to collect from him at all. It is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.
    If a person is convicted of possession of marijuana while collecting student loans or stood they lose it for a year.
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    #7
    I would say no like everyone else, sometimes they have to learn on there own. Plus like everyone else says it can hurt you in the long run!

    Let him figure out his options for schooling, even if it takes longer he can take one or two classes at a time
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    Yeah my whole point about the fact that he smokes is that hes always asking me for money and my mom. There are days where im at work and he'll call me and ill end up having to order him pizza and get it sent to his house because he doesnt have the money or because hes too sick to get up. I live 4 hours away from him, so we dont exactly see each other much.

    Our dad died when we were really young and ive just always felt like i need to help my brothers and stick with them so im just stuck between emotionally wanting to help and ethically knowing that i shouldnt.

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    #9
    Fuck no you are not being a horrible sister. When you co-sign you are saying no matter what I will pay this debt and if I don't my credit is on the line. If your brother can't pay you have to shoulder the payments. Also I'm not sure the type of loan he's looking at but many student loans don't go away even if you file for bankruptcy.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by [his] lobster View Post
    Say No. 100 times No. I know it sucks and hurts, but I would not put myself out there financially for those reasons. If you DO cosign, do so assuming and being at peace with paying the whole loan. If you're not okay with that, and you're going to expect him to pay it, do not do it.
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