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Thread: How do you cope with periods of no communication?

  1. Old Newbie
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    #1

    How do you cope with periods of no communication?

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    I've been unable to talk to my SO for 2 weeks now and I'm really starting to hit a wall, I was wondering how you all cope? Its the first time we haven't ever been able to communicate properly and I am driving myself crazy thinking the worst!

    He's stationed abroad (Cyprus - he is in the RAF) until the beginning of Dec he's out there training people up for their deployments and he was originally told he could have his phone taken off him when he left the UK, well luckily for us he made it to Cyprus without having his phone taken off him as he text me to let me know he was safe and he had his phone on him (I was like yes silly you don't need to tell me that...you just text me! ) since then I've not heard a peep! I had 2 missed calls from an unknown number last weekend and I think it might have been him, he originally said if he had his phone taken off him there might be a payphone he could use.

    I've sent him a couple of texts, just one last weekend and one this weekend so if and when he sees his phone he knows I've been thinking of him. His phone is definitely off (I called once yesterday to see...sorry ladies, couldn't help myself *slaps wrist*) so I guess where ever he is and whatever he's doing he can't use his phone right now...but there is still part of me that thinks i'm being ignored. We spoke on the phone before he left and everything was fine, we were talking about how were gonna meet up the weekend he's back, we had a small (awkward too! lol) relationship talk but we are both on the same page. I don't know it just doesn't add up to me that he'd tell me he had his phone and then chose NOT to talk not to mention I am worrying about him!

    I'm just driving myself nutty thinking the worst and I have 4 more weeks to go before he's back and I know we can definitely talk I'm probably worrying over nothing...sorry about the huge vent!
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by bambi View Post
    I've been unable to talk to my SO for 2 weeks now and I'm really starting to hit a wall, I was wondering how you all cope? Its the first time we haven't ever been able to communicate properly and I am driving myself crazy thinking the worst!

    He's stationed abroad (Cyprus - he is in the RAF) until the beginning of Dec he's out there training people up for their deployments and he was originally told he could have his phone taken off him when he left the UK, well luckily for us he made it to Cyprus without having his phone taken off him as he text me to let me know he was safe and he had his phone on him (I was like yes silly you don't need to tell me that...you just text me! ) since then I've not heard a peep! I had 2 missed calls from an unknown number last weekend and I think it might have been him, he originally said if he had his phone taken off him there might be a payphone he could use.

    I've sent him a couple of texts, just one last weekend and one this weekend so if and when he sees his phone he knows I've been thinking of him. His phone is definitely off (I called once yesterday to see...sorry ladies, couldn't help myself *slaps wrist*) so I guess where ever he is and whatever he's doing he can't use his phone right now...but there is still part of me that thinks i'm being ignored. We spoke on the phone before he left and everything was fine, we were talking about how were gonna meet up the weekend he's back, we had a small (awkward too! lol) relationship talk but we are both on the same page. I don't know it just doesn't add up to me that he'd tell me he had his phone and then chose NOT to talk not to mention I am worrying about him!

    I'm just driving myself nutty thinking the worst and I have 4 more weeks to go before he's back and I know we can definitely talk I'm probably worrying over nothing...sorry about the huge vent!
    He probably has just finally had his phone taken away. The number that called may have been him and hopefully he will call back soon

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    #3
    email?
    facebook?

    Can you write a positive, upbeat letter?

    I've been through a couple deployments where there was less-than-stellar communication. You just have to remember that no-news is good news (even for training) and focus on your life in the here-and-now. That's what they have to do, and that's what we have to do back home.

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    When that happened to us I would still write emails to him so it at least felt like we were talking.


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    Quote Originally Posted by AndreaClaire View Post
    He probably has just finally had his phone taken away. The number that called may have been him and hopefully he will call back soon
    Yeah I had thought that! All my logical thinking gets taken over by one silly negative thought. i'm sure there is a logical explanation. thank you!


    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post
    email?
    facebook?

    Can you write a positive, upbeat letter?

    I've been through a couple deployments where there was less-than-stellar communication. You just have to remember that no-news is good news (even for training) and focus on your life in the here-and-now. That's what they have to do, and that's what we have to do back home.
    He doesn't have facebook, he didn't want his corporals and sergeants to find him and see all his all his bad college photos it wouldn't set a very good example! And we talked about email but managed to lock himself out of it the week before he left (that's his personal one by the way) and he didn't want to use his work email, I guess somebody could monitor what he sends and he might not want his bosses to see mushy emails to his girl!

    I think it's important that any contact I have with him i'm positive and upbeat. It's hard though! but I will try!

    You're so right about focusing on the here and now, I have a very busy job and during the week I find it much easier to cope with, it's the weekends that are the worst...o well 4 more to go!

    thank you ladies
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjennyy View Post
    When that happened to us I would still write emails to him so it at least felt like we were talking.
    That's why I've sent him the texts, just so it feel like we are still talking and so he knows I'm still here. I'm worried when he turns his phone on it will explode with my messages! so I will limit it. maybe i'll send another in a couple weeks if I still haven't heard from him, just to check in!
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    Quote Originally Posted by bambi View Post
    Yeah I had thought that! All my logical thinking gets taken over by one silly negative thought. i'm sure there is a logical explanation. thank you!




    He doesn't have facebook, he didn't want his corporals and sergeants to find him and see all his all his bad college photos it wouldn't set a very good example! And we talked about email but managed to lock himself out of it the week before he left (that's his personal one by the way) and he didn't want to use his work email, I guess somebody could monitor what he sends and he might not want his bosses to see mushy emails to his girl!

    I think it's important that any contact I have with him i'm positive and upbeat. It's hard though! but I will try!

    You're so right about focusing on the here and now, I have a very busy job and during the week I find it much easier to cope with, it's the weekends that are the worst...o well 4 more to go!

    thank you ladies
    Why didn't he make a new email?


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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjennyy View Post
    When that happened to us I would still write emails to him so it at least felt like we were talking.
    This is what I do. I'll usually send a quick e-mail (or pic) from my phone if something exciting/sad happens that I would usually tell him right away. I'l send 2-3 longer emails throughout the week to 'get out' everything I want to 'tell him' or to talk about things we normally do when he's home. When he's been gone for 3-4 weeks, DF probably comes home to 20-25 e-mails from me. I don't think he reads them all - but I know he likes seeing them there. He'll usually take the time to respon to a couple when he gets back which is nice.

    On top of that... I usually come to this site for all of my venting/questions. My activity here probably quadruples when he's gone
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    #9
    I agree with everyone else about maybe trying fb or email that's how db and I primarily communicate when he's underway. He can maybe create a new fb just so the two of you can communicate with no bad pics for anyone to see. Or create a new email. DB also doesn't like to use his work email to communicate with me but we use his gmail. He has to be willing to get a bit more flexible with his communication methods because phone communication may not always be available.

    And I hope you hear from him soon.
  10. Old Newbie
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    Yeah I will suggest that he makes a new email so we can use that to talk just incase phone communication isn't available. But I guess we can sort that out until he's back, but at least it will be there for the other times he's away. I don't know why he didn't think to do it before he left, everything was really last minute for him though, one moment he was going there the next it might have been Kenya, and first we thought it was only 4 weeks but now its 6, unfortunately it wasn't a priority at the time but I understand. If we get sorted on email it means I can use it as an outlet to talk to him like some of you girls do, it seems like such a good idea and I mean I can't really tell him about my good/bad day in work on a text, I'd rather use texts for cute little things like pics or checking in.

    I know it's not all that bad, i've only got another 4ish weeks to go before he's back and we can definitely talk.

    Thanks for all the advice so far, it's helped to quiet my overactive mind!
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