Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27

Thread: So embarrassed...

  1. Live In Love
    HeatherBear's Avatar
    HeatherBear is offline
    Live In Love
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    8,062
    #1

    So embarrassed...

    Advertisements
    Let me preface this by saying that I've never had much, and what I did have, has always meant the world to me. I have moved nine times in five years, due to college, and other unforseen situations. I started with basic college stuff, and some clothes, and slowly, have just been collecting things.

    Now, a year and a half after graduating college, I have so so much stuff. I have clothes from high school still, my old college dishes, along with my "big girl" dish set. An old futon from my first apt, as well as two cheap couches I got off craigslist for $50. I have so much stuff, that I literally feel like I'm drowning.

    My problem is, I can't get rid of it. Any of it, and I have no idea why. I can't seem to part with things. Whether it be the ugly owl cookie jar my grandma got for me, (i love owls, but this is seriously the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. but now that she's dead, I feel guilty getting rid of it) or my old college books, (because, hey, I could sell those one day.....or something...) I just....I need help. and I have no idea where to start.

    I feel so so stupid even posting this. Please, if it's possible, pretend this is in Hugs and Rainbows too, because while I do need support, and advice, I don't think I could handle criticism about how crazy I am. I've already got GAD, and depression, I don't need any other stupid issues to add to my life...
  2. Senior Member
    kaaau's Avatar
    kaaau is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    5,818
    #2
    I know how you feel. I would be the last one to criticize. When you have very little it all becomes so precious to you. I grew up in a large family and we had very little. I also found/ find myself with the difficulty of getting rid of things.

    I finally realized that I was drowning in things from saving them over the years. I finally had to come to terms with choosing what was really important to me and what I have to let go of. It has been a real process and is still ongoing today.

    Something that has helped me is to sit down and take an item, sit down with it and try to think about the memories I have associated with this item. It is difficult and took some time. I would go through things and I felt accomplished if I could get rid of one or two things. Finally it came to me that if I had a fire, what would be the things that I absolutely had to save. When I looked at things in that manner I have been able to release things that did not mean that much to me although it is still a process and I think it always will be.

    Hugs to you. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
    http://militarysos.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=8121&dateline=1213248817 TAKEN AT NISQUALLY WILDLIFE PRESERVE
  3. Senior Member
    SinisterLex's Avatar
    SinisterLex is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Dyess, AFB
    Posts
    530
    #3
    Haha no nead to be embarrassed! Millions of people collect things like this over time!

    My parents have a lifetime of stuff and are FINALLY starting to realize they don't need it all. I think a lot of the attachment comes from associating those things as being part of who you are. It may help to try to see yourself as separate from your things. You are not your things.

    Most of your stuff can probably be sold right now for cash and will probably earn more for you than if you wait. ESPECIALLY the college books.

    Book Scouter can help you get rid of text books quickly and I bet you could make a pretty penny if you put some of those items on Craigslist or Ebay.

    I don't know if they have these where you are, but around here we have these big yellow bins all around town for clothing donations. You should try dropping a couple items in there sometime! If that doesn't make you feel good nothing will! Helping people almost always feels good. When you start to associate cleaning out your closet with good feelings it becomes 10 times easier to do it!

  4. Live In Love
    HeatherBear's Avatar
    HeatherBear is offline
    Live In Love
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    8,062
    #4
    Thank you both. It's so hard. I'm going to look into the books one as soon as I get home, because I know I don't have a use for them. Maybe that's a place to start...

    Any other suggestions to make this easier??
  5. Senior Member
    kaaau's Avatar
    kaaau is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    5,818
    #5
    Try setting a goal to get rid of something every week or if that is to much something every month.

    Perhaps donate your college dishes to a location that you know college students go to get things for their apartment.
    http://militarysos.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=8121&dateline=1213248817 TAKEN AT NISQUALLY WILDLIFE PRESERVE
  6. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
    villanelle is online now
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    14,790
    #6
    Examine what it is about the item that speaks to you. With the cookie jar, it is the attachment to your grandma. WIll you love your grandma any less if you get rid of the cookie jar? Will you forget her because it is gone? Would she want you to keep something you don't like and which contributes to making you feel upset and like you are drowning?

    Would having a photo of that cookie jar be enough? Or better yet, just having the memory of your grandma and her generosity?

    Examine each item like that, if you have to, and hold on to what is important (in most cases, the memories), while letting go of what isn't (keeping a cookie jar you hate, for example).

    As a side note, most text books are worth nothing after a few years because new editions come out. The longer you wait, the more likely it is they won't be worth anything.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  7. Senior Member
    SinisterLex's Avatar
    SinisterLex is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Dyess, AFB
    Posts
    530
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Would having a photo of that cookie jar be enough?
    Wow that's an awesome idea the more I think about it! For me a picture of the item really would be enough. I'm gonna suggest this to my parents and see if it helps them, because really the memory is what counts and a picture can easily jog the same memories as the item itself.

    Thanks
  8. Senior Member
    Caity Rose's Avatar
    Caity Rose is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    3,279
    #8
    I have a hard time getting rid of things too. Like, clothes that don't fit that are way too 'young' for me. But they all have memories and backstories to me so I have a hard time parting. One way is you could take nice photos of all the things you don't really need to have around anymore, make yourself an album of memories and then part with these things. You can always look back and think about the memories related to it. Like, when I try to think so hard of the toys I had as a kid, I have a hard time picturing them all or I remember having something but can't figure out what exactly it was, I wish I had a photo album I could look back on of all the things. haha. silly but the things around you are important but that's one way of being able to part from the object, but not the memory.
  9. Senior Member
    Cedes's Avatar
    Cedes is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Detroit, Michigan
    Posts
    2,227

    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by kaaau View Post
    Try setting a goal to get rid of something every week or if that is to much something every month.

    Perhaps donate your college dishes to a location that you know college students go to get things for their apartment.
    This. Donating takes a huge lift off of getting rid of things because you know that it will go to someone who truly needs it, not just thrown into a landfill somewhere. I did this, and it made cleaning out my stuff a heck of a lot easier.
    Last edited by Cedes; 10-22-2013 at 12:14 PM. Reason: Thought of more
  10. ♡1 Peter 4:8 ♡
    KaityBug's Avatar
    KaityBug is offline
    ♡1 Peter 4:8 ♡
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    10,893
    #10
    I am seriously the same way. I've found two things that help. A) I have a "support person" to help me. That person will reassure me that, no, I do not need these random items that I haven't used in a bajillion years. B) I can only do a little at a time. Seriously. It gets sooo overwhelming to purge a lot at once, at least for me.
    Hope that helps a little.


Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •