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Thread: Help me not be such a bitch.

  1. The Decider
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    #1

    Help me not be such a bitch.

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    DB's grandpa died this morning.

    DB couldn't care less. He had no relationship at all with the guy. However, it's his mom's dad, and his mom is an overbearing, manipulative turd. She called this morning, and apparently one of the only things he could make out through her tears was that she's planning the funeral for Saturday so her "boys can be home."

    So he starts feeling guilty; mom needs him; mom doesn't care about her husband or sister or anyone else being there right now, she just wants her boys.

    That would normally be fine, but this weekend is "fall break" at school. They give us two days off (how generous!), and we've been planning a little getaway for quite a while now. I've been struggling with feeling really unimportant and struggling with my place in the relationship. We have rarely been able to be intimate in the last two months because I've had severe pain during intercourse. This was going to be our time together to reconnect and relax and sure, it's probably selfish, but I'm upset. We were going to take three days to go camping and sleep under the stars and be together, and now we don't get that.

    Now he's mad at me because I'm upset, and he thinks I "don't get to be upset; this is a funeral!" But I'm upset because this is really the only time until Christmas Break that we'll really have for "us" time, because of differing school and work schedules.

    I'm really having a hard time with this, and he thinks I'm being selfish. I think I probably just need hugs.
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    #2


    I understand that you wanted time alone, but this is a time where I would step back. I think he needs to be with his family, despite his relationship with his grandfather. People absorb and deal with grief differently. Just because she wants her boys home doesn't make her wrong. As a parent, losing a parent, she might just want to hold on to her kids through this.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    I'm sorry to be blunt but you are being selfish. You are asking him to not go to his grandfathers funeral because you have a 2 day break? Do you have any compassion over a life lost?
  4. I've got 32 flavors of that bootylicious bubblegum.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Brianna Banana View Post
    DB's grandpa died this morning.

    DB couldn't care less. He had no relationship at all with the guy. However, it's his mom's dad, and his mom is an overbearing, manipulative turd. She called this morning, and apparently one of the only things he could make out through her tears was that she's planning the funeral for Saturday so her "boys can be home."

    So he starts feeling guilty; mom needs him; mom doesn't care about her husband or sister or anyone else being there right now, she just wants her boys.

    That would normally be fine, but this weekend is "fall break" at school. They give us two days off (how generous!), and we've been planning a little getaway for quite a while now. I've been struggling with feeling really unimportant and struggling with my place in the relationship. We have rarely been able to be intimate in the last two months because I've had severe pain during intercourse. This was going to be our time together to reconnect and relax and sure, it's probably selfish, but I'm upset. We were going to take three days to go camping and sleep under the stars and be together, and now we don't get that.

    Now he's mad at me because I'm upset, and he thinks I "don't get to be upset; this is a funeral!" But I'm upset because this is really the only time until Christmas Break that we'll really have for "us" time, because of differing school and work schedules.

    I'm really having a hard time with this, and he thinks I'm being selfish. I think I probably just need hugs.
    It's probably selfish? IT IS selfish. Would it honestly make you happier if he skipped the funeral and family time to be with you?


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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by jellybeanerr View Post
    I'm sorry to be blunt but you are being selfish. You are asking him to not go to his grandfathers funeral because you have a 2 day break? Do you have any compassion over a life lost?
    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjennyy View Post
    It's probably selfish? IT IS selfish. Would it honestly make you happier if he skipped the funeral and family time to be with you?
    Both of these.

    Wow. I'm trying to sympathize but I just can't.
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    #6
    i can understand being bummed that the weekend isn't going to be what you hoped for, but his family is a lot more important right now. they need him.
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    #7
    I just can not wrap my mind around this. I would be SO upset and would probably think twice about continuing a relationship with someone who got upset about me wanting to go to a funeral.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    I dont know why but I'm so mad over this thread I just cant wrap my mind around it
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Yabos View Post
    I just can not wrap my mind around this. I would be SO upset and would probably think twice about continuing a relationship with someone who got upset about me wanting to go to a funeral.
    yeahh i agree.

    idk if i was with someone and a family member passed away, regardless of whether they were close to them or not, i would encourage them to be with their family. its a hell of a lot more important then having a couple days together. i'm sure you see him a lot more than he sees his family
  10. I've got 32 flavors of that bootylicious bubblegum.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by jellybeanerr View Post
    I dont know why but I'm so mad over this thread I just cant wrap my mind around it
    I had to go through it twice to make sure I was reading it correctly.


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