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Thread: So.... I have roommates again

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    So.... I have roommates again

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    So I've been meaning to update the board on my new living arrangements. Since my lease was up in mid August, I moved into the house of a family friend (the parents live in the city where I'm originally from but their daughter lives here in the house). Anyways, its 4 of us- the daughter, and two other girls. WOW, even though its only been 2 years, getting used to roommates again is strange. I get along with all of them, which is super! Though, I feel like a house mother (I endearingly use that term, because I enjoy the other girls) since they're all 21/20.

    Anyways, I'm fortunate that no roommate situations have come up. Except for something so random. The two girls that I share a bathroom with use my toothpaste. I know... that sounds so petty/trivial when I say it out loud. But for some reason, it just weirds me out. I've never shared toothpaste in the past, except for my own family members. When I noticed it, I kinda just brushed it off and assumed they hadn't bought any yet (I moved in roughly 2 weeks before either of them got back from summer break). But its been about a month and they're still using it. We're never all in the bathroom at the same time, so I don't know how to bring it up. I'm bad with confrontation, especially since I know "Hey can you not use my toothpaste" sounds a bit silly when said out loud. I'm not a fan of leaving notes, but I just don't know what else to do. I even started putting the tube on my little shelf thing where all of MY stuff is. What do they do? Use it, and put it back on my shelf. They HAVE to know its mine.

    IDK... I probably sound dumb. I'm just not really on board with sharing... and have no idea how to bring it up without sounding stupid.
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    #2
    If toothpaste is the only roommate issue you are having, then I honestly wouldn't say anything... or if it's bothering you that much, why not use one of those bath caddies and take your personal things to your room when not using them in the bathroom.


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  3. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #3
    I really hate confrontation, so I would probably just buy another tube and keep it zipped up in a makeup bag or something instead of sitting out where they can get to it. Then they can share the other one together and you have your own.

    And I don't think that's weird, I wouldn't want roommates using my toothpaste either.
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    #4
    Are you totally not cool with sharing, or do you just want to bring it to their attention? If it were me, I'd say something like, "hey, I've noticed we're getting low on toothpaste. Can someone else buy the next tube, since we're all currently sharing mine?"
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    #5
    Really simple.....just keep your bathroom items in a little cute bucket for you to take into the bathroom when you are getting ready, taking a shower or whatever.

    So keep deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste, hair product etc in the bucket/basket and take it in and out as you need it.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    I'm totally not cool with the sharing part. I'm sure they're clean, but just erring on the side of caution... toothpaste spout touches toothbrushes... and I'm just not cool with other people's mouth germs being on my toothpaste spout. Hell, I could have oral herpes for all they know- jokes on them (I'm kidding, but ferreal...).

    My friend also mentioned me keeping it in a zipped up bag. But idk... bear with me on this... I feel like "why should I have to keep MY stuff locked up in a place that is supposed to be my home just as much as it is theirs?" Like, I don't use their facewash, deodorant, tampons, etc... and they don't use mine. I don't get why toothpaste is any different. Yes, this is petty... I know. The fact that I put it on my shelf, underneath my headbands... and it was used (I can tell based on where its being squeezed- geez, I sound like a psycho toothpaste police), and then they put it BACK, underneath my headbands and all... IDK, to me that shows that they're aware that I'm trying to keep it to myself. Just buy your own tube!

    Meh, I'll likely just end up zipping it in my cosmetic bag. Its just bizarre to me.
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    #7
    I agree that it's not something you should have to do, but if you dislike confrontation it's probably the simplest and easiest solution.

    If you do decide to confront them about it, knowing that you don't like confrontation (or I'm assuming so since you think you're bad at it), I would frame it in a way as like they're doing you a favor vs. that they're doing something wrong. Like you could say something like "Hey guys this is just my thing, but I'm a total germophobe and I just can't deal with sharing toothpaste. So I'm gonna go ahead and buy a separate tube for myself. Just so you know that's why there's going to be another toothpaste tube in the bathroom. Thanks for bearing with me!" Or something along those lines.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by #luci View Post
    I'm totally not cool with the sharing part. I'm sure they're clean, but just erring on the side of caution... toothpaste spout touches toothbrushes... and I'm just not cool with other people's mouth germs being on my toothpaste spout. Hell, I could have oral herpes for all they know- jokes on them (I'm kidding, but ferreal...).

    My friend also mentioned me keeping it in a zipped up bag. But idk... bear with me on this... I feel like "why should I have to keep MY stuff locked up in a place that is supposed to be my home just as much as it is theirs?" Like, I don't use their facewash, deodorant, tampons, etc... and they don't use mine. I don't get why toothpaste is any different. Yes, this is petty... I know. The fact that I put it on my shelf, underneath my headbands... and it was used (I can tell based on where its being squeezed- geez, I sound like a psycho toothpaste police), and then they put it BACK, underneath my headbands and all... IDK, to me that shows that they're aware that I'm trying to keep it to myself. Just buy your own tube!

    Meh, I'll likely just end up zipping it in my cosmetic bag. Its just bizarre to me.
    Ok, I totally get that. I have only ever lived with close friends (which can spell disaster of a different kind!) so I forgot how weird it can be when people share things that are really... intimate, for lack of a better word, without your approval.

    I totally feel you on knowing who has used the toothpaste last based on where it's been squeezed... DH ALWAYS squeezes from the middle of the tube, which drives me batty. I am psycho and use the edge of the bathroom counter to get it all neat and "squeezed up" and then he goes and ruins it every night.

    Maybe if you keep your toothpaste in your room for awhile, it'll force them to go out and get their own tubes and then yours can magically reappear in the bathroom?

    One last thought: it could be that they are just lazy and never remember to get their own toothpaste. By suddenly removing yours, then they have none, and will go searching the bathroom for it. I'd honestly just say something kind of self deprecating like, "hey guys, I know this is super weird, but I have this strange thing about sharing toothpaste and it weirding me out. Do you mind buying your own tube next time you're at the store?" They'll probably feel mildly embarrassed (as I would, if I was inadvertently doing something to bother my roommate) but I'd apologize and go out and get my toothpaste and that'd be the end of it.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I agree that it's not something you should have to do, but if you dislike confrontation it's probably the simplest and easiest solution.

    If you do decide to confront them about it, knowing that you don't like confrontation (or I'm assuming so since you think you're bad at it), I would frame it in a way as like they're doing you a favor vs. that they're doing something wrong. Like you could say something like "Hey guys this is just my thing, but I'm a total germophobe and I just can't deal with sharing toothpaste. So I'm gonna go ahead and buy a separate tube for myself. Just so you know that's why there's going to be another toothpaste tube in the bathroom. Thanks for bearing with me!" Or something along those lines.
    I actually like Tojai's way of phrasing it better, plus, if you go out and get another tube, then it seems like even less of a big deal. They have toothpaste, you have your own toothpaste, and the problem is totally solved.
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I agree that it's not something you should have to do, but if you dislike confrontation it's probably the simplest and easiest solution.

    If you do decide to confront them about it, knowing that you don't like confrontation (or I'm assuming so since you think you're bad at it), I would frame it in a way as like they're doing you a favor vs. that they're doing something wrong. Like you could say something like "Hey guys this is just my thing, but I'm a total germophobe and I just can't deal with sharing toothpaste. So I'm gonna go ahead and buy a separate tube for myself. Just so you know that's why there's going to be another toothpaste tube in the bathroom. Thanks for bearing with me!" Or something along those lines.
    Yea, you're right. I think my stubbornness is working against me at this point. I don't see the need to get confrontational about it, because I totally think this is a petty "problem," but I still can't shake the whole sharing concept. I'm not even a germophobe... until this lol. I'll just keep it in my cosmetic bag from now on. If they go digging through it to find it, we're gon' have some issues lol
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