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Thread: How can I be a good friend without throwing the shower?

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    #1

    How can I be a good friend without throwing the shower?

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    One of my very good friends on base is pregnant. She is an amazing woman, the kindest, most generous person I've ever met. I'll call her Jen. She has been an angel to my husband and I since we moved here in January (first duty station). She's about 4 months along right now and I want to do something really great for her and her husband, who's equally wonderful. I messaged her best friend/neighbor (call her Kim) on Facebook to offer my help in throwing the baby shower. Well to my surprise, Kim said she's not throwing one. She said she's really bad at planning this stuff, too much going on with school and the kids, and money is too tight. Instead, she offered to help ME if she could. Well shit. Not what I wanted to hear. I've been to one baby shower in my whole life. I am not girly. My husband and I don't have kids, want kids, or even like kids. I also prefer a small circle of friends and mostly keep to myself, while Jen is super bubbly and has tons of friends, some of whom I don't care for at all and the rest I really don't care to know. Plus, Jen already has 2 little boys and doesn't need much baby stuff. Clothes (if she has a girl) I know she'll get for cheap off our Facebook yard sale page. I just can't throw a baby shower. So my question is, what else can I do for her to show her how much I care and appreciate everything she's done for us? Jen and I are both key spouses (hubbies are in the same squadron) and we set up a "maternity meal train" a few months ago, so they'll already have meals for a week or two when the baby comes. What else can I do? Thanks everyone.
  2. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #2
    Make a new mommy basket? Fill it with a few essentials for a new baby as well as things that she may like during the first month like snacks, bath stuff, ect. Or you could offer to make her a few freezer meals for when the baby comes and she may not be up to or too busy to cook.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #3
    Host a "families" barbecue instead of a shower in honor of the new baby. Gifts are welcome, but not required. You provide something like burgers and ask people to bring a side. That way you avoid the "baby shower" aspect of having an event, but every one can still get together and just celebrate having a new baby.
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    The freezer meals would be tough for me. I'm vegan and keep a full vegan kitchen. I doubt her family would eat any of my dinners and soups, and I'm not comfortable having any meat and dairy in my house anymore. As for the baby essentials, could I have some examples? Like I said I don't have kids and she already has 2 so she has lots of stuff. She has blankets, bottles, pacifiers, onesies, and she cloth diapers.
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    Lynn that's a good idea, but we don't have a grill. Plus the whole vegan issue.
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    #6
    Is there a park nearby that you could co-host it at with Kim? Perhaps if you did the advance planning and a few desserts/drinks, the friend Kim could agree to do the burger thing for the carnivores at the barbecue?
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by AFWife4319 View Post
    Lynn that's a good idea, but we don't have a grill. Plus the whole vegan issue.
    Do a pot luck?

    My friends just had a "gender reveal" BBQ a couple of weeks ago, no gifts required but it was a fun get together just to come celebrate the baby and find out what they're having! I'm sure there's a ton of ideas online if you google/Pinterest it but the BBQ idea could be fun! Just have vegetarian and vegan friendly dishes available and people will bring other dishes that appeal to them!


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    #8
    Oh, another idea, since you don't think they would eat your stuff - gift cards for take out.


    Also, ask them if they would be interested in vegan meals. I'm not vegan, but I have eaten vegan meals and *gasp* enjoyed them.
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    #9
    I know someone will probably mention babysitting too. I love Jen and her 2 boys are adorable, but they are holy terrors. They break something every time they're in my house. Last time I was at Jen's her toddler came at me waving a butterknife. I'm actually a nanny for a living right now (weird I know, but it's the only job I can get around here. Plus I love BABIES, just not school aged kids), but I can't handle those 2 crazy boys. They're out of control.
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    #10
    I'll have to look into the gift card idea. We're an isolated base, so there are very few places around here that deliver. I'll have to see if any of them offer gift cards.
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